ITT We Tell Stories about Fat Chicks

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by wes tegg, Jan 12, 2016.

  1. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys. #AioliBoys
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    Apparently, there was an old one that was lost in the crash.

    Iron Mickey get in here and spin us a yarn.
     
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  2. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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  3. bama1

    bama1 I like you
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    You can't have a fat chicks thread without Capstone 88
     
  4. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    Alright, well, I have a few, alas. But here's the full rundown of the one alluded to earlier.

    I went up to Wake Forest my sophomore year. They did spring rush, so my buddy was finally not a pledge. I came up for a long weekend to see the FSU-WF game (ostensibly) but really to see my friend and experience what tiny private school life was all about. The first night, I got a text from a girl with whom we'd gone to high school-- she was a year behind us but was in AP Physics with us. Cute, but chunky. She had heard I was coming up to Winston, apparently, because Wake Forest is the size of your average 5th grade math class. She wanted to know what was up-- the answer, of course, was debauchery. I thought very little of it, frankly, because I didn't find her attractive and she was just a nice younger chick.

    To get the party started, my buddy pulls out a rather considerable bag of various and sundry prescription drugs. I've never been much of a pill guy, but it seemed legit. I pop a few that turn out to be klonopins and percocets. Yikes. We head over to the hall of the fraternity. You apparently can have booze parties there but no kegs-- they're just violently opposed to green drinking, I guess. We pile in and the night is young, but I'm getting fucked up. Start playing beer pong. Do remarkably well-- public school, motherfuckers! But this of course means I start getting retarded. Girl shows up. Hey good to see you, yeah you too, yada yada yada, sideways hug, back to feeling like Kobe with the beer pong.

    We lose eventually and I step out for a cigarette. My buddy points out my own fraternity's local chapter nearby. Curious, I go poke around. Turns out, they had a live-in stripper, lost their papers, and had just recently gotten back to campus. As I roll up, transparently drunk, they offer me water and all sorts of other shit. Being a 19 year old douchebag, I'm incensed by guys who dare to call themselves my brothers having no booze. Completely unacceptable.

    I go back to the party and continue drinking. By this time, I have very sporadic memory. Photos of the evening show her lurking nearby consistently, apparently nursing a beer while I get wrecked. Suddenly, it has gotten quite late and the party is really in full swing. I step outside for a smoke again and get the kind of idea one only gets when one is 19 and on drugs. I decide to break into my fraternity's hall and steal their flag. This is important for the visual, so bear with me. Their hall is H-shaped, with two deep rooms connected by a hall which includes a staircase. I approach the right window facing an empty room with the flag on the wall. Somehow surreptitiously, or perhaps the boys are so hopped on Mountain Dew, I open the window and crawl inside. The guys are audibly hanging out in the other room around the way. I army crawl over to the flag and tear it off the wall. Note: there is virtually no good reason to be army crawling given that time, rather than visibility, is the issue at stake; a young man crawling on the ground drunk is every bit as secretive as you'd think. Somehow, however, I get out without detection.

    I don the cape triumphantly as I return to the party. So here I am, wearing a purple flag as a cape, and partying with strangers. The beast lurks still. I have little memory of this but I've been told I was like a god damned social Stalin, ruling the party with an iron fist. A petty criminal, a caped cup-bearer, a public school junkie freak, and undoubtedly the fanciest man in the trailer park (RoyalShocker). Fast forward and those who remain at the party have retired to a dorm away from the hall. Don't ask me why or how-- my buddy is long gone, as far as I can tell. I'm on a third floor patio smoking and being charming as fuck, in my blackout state of euphoria.

    Suddenly, and I mean quite suddenly, I'm making out with the fat girl. No idea where she came from. No idea how she managed it. Just as suddenly, people are making fun of us and we've gone back to her room. She's lying on her back, where the fat spreads out in a nice outline that makes her seem less, well, fat. I'm standing by the bed, my pants around my ankles and my loafers on. I have no shirt. I'm wearing a purple fraternity flag cape that is now dingy with vomit and beer from the party. I am pounding away at her, the fat rolling in a really nice motion that helps me find a rhythm. Just as I'm getting close, I hop up onto her belly. Yes, with my pants around my ankles. I cum a lot. I mean a lot. All over her. I assume we were at it long enough to build up a huge load and, if I'm being truthful, I hadn't been laid in a while. She loves it. She's licking it up, wiping it off with her fingers then sucking her fingers and rubbing her tits, just madness.

    I'm quite horrified, like when you realize you've jerked it to a truly despicable porn. I say I need a smoke, waddle off of her, and pull my pants up before stepping outside. There, I panic. I'm having a cigarette and I realize she's going to want to sleep together. I am a warm dude. I hate being smothered unless I'm like out-and-out madly in love with the girl. So I do the only logical thing-- I climb down the balcony to escape. Shirtless. Wearing a cape.

    I come to the next morning at dawn to her shaking me. I'm sleeping on a bench in the Wake Forest quad. I have a flag-cape for a blanket. My arms and legs are scratched to hell; it looks like I went all Mickey O'Neil with a raccoon. Seriously. She gets very concerned and insists that she doctor me. Now, turns out she's pre-med. And has a nurse's outfit. Don't ask me why those things follow. So we get back to her room, I flop down on her bed which is insanely comfortable and makes me question my judgment in yet another way, and she puts on an outfit-- without a word-- to "service" me. So we fuck again, and this time she says she wants to taste every drop. So I pull out and cum in her mouth. Again the revulsion and regret.

    I again announce my need for nicotine. She seems wise to my ploy, because she comes out with me. After about an hour, she says she needs to use the bathroom. I make a break for it, hop in my car, and call my buddy to find out where to go. I meet him at one of his fraternity brother's off-campus houses where we get really high with an old school gun vaporizer and a turkey bag while watching an IMAX movie on beavers.

    fin
     
  5. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    that's long; sorry
     
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  6. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    he had some golden ones in that other thread
     
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  7. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    Got drunk fucked a juco tennis player. Roomate called her pam the ham as she exited. Never spoke to her again. Thats about all i got unless i count my wife while preggo
     
  8. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint It's like the Weimar Republic in that place
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    :laugh:
     
  9. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Guys i have been trying really hard to get marcus to come back but he doesnt seem to want to budge

    Should I make a poll about him and show it to him?
     
  10. BMR

    BMR Buddy 4 Hugs
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    It was beautiful, though.
     
  11. Sterling A

    Sterling A Uh, apology accepted, ass-douche
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    Tennis players are usually athletic as hell and pretty fit. But the Juco in your statement probably has something to do with it
     
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  12. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    :blush:
     
  13. PhupaPhever

    PhupaPhever Well-Known Member
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    Buddy in college fucked a fatty at a late night. After leaving the bedroom he said you have the body of a pulling guard in front of her as well and the majority of the party. She didn't get it, but with everyone laughing she assumed it wasn't nice. After googling it she keyed his car a week later.

    I'm not sure why, but IMO calling a girl a pulling guard is hysterical.
     
  14. VoodooChild5

    VoodooChild5 Fan of: Notre Dame
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    Tried it once to see if I would like it. It was disgusting. Will never do it again.
     
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  15. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Creator of the 'Official Dads of TMB' thread.
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    Well I hadn't planned on masturbating, but Iron Mickey's story has me feeling some kind of way.
    Just kidding. It's nauseous. It has me feeling nauseous.
     
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  16. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    don't you lie to me. you instantly found yourself in my Sperry's, staring down at this pancake of a cute girl to the second power, the threads of a knotted flag itching at your throat, your penis slick with her entirely-unnecessary juices, her moans a subtle mix of revolting and exciting.
     
  17. dvnasty

    dvnasty donuts make me go nuts
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    Iron Mickey I salute you for such beautiful, eloquent imagery

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    Fucked many a fat girl and I'm in no way ashamed of it. Fat girls can be fun and for a solid decade I'd fuck any chick that would let me.
     
    #18 Hoss Bonaventure, Jan 12, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2016
  19. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys. #AioliBoys
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    I'm not proud of it, but I've twice told fat girls that I was a virgin saving myself for marriage to get a blowjob rather than have to fuck them. The two instances were about six years apart.
     
  20. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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  21. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    haha

    that is brutal
     
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  22. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    couple names on the bottom have been in here a while, not liking anything, and not posting

    I detect some harrowing tales of plus sized women and the drunk men who affirm them
     
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  23. Fidelio

    Fidelio I wanna fuck you slow with the lights on
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    Lol at "just madness"

    What happened to the flag
     
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  24. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    still got it, foul stains and all
     
  25. Tony Ray Bans

    Tony Ray Bans Most Overlooked. Most Overbooked.
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    Fat girls give some of the best head on the planet. Its like they have something to prove.
     
  26. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    Just FYI. Don't ever discuss hogging with your significant other. If you happen to tell your wife while nearly passed out drunk, "you are the fattest girl I have ever sexed" it won't end well. No matter how drunk she is or how drunk you explain you are.
     
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  27. wtx

    wtx you don't want zero problems big fella
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    Used to bang out a girl with a little extra baggage when I was drunk. My roommate nicknamed her "Cheetos" because everytime she would leave, he could tell that she had been over. Apparently it is possible for a girl's pussy to smell like Cheetos.

    :themoreyouknow:
     
  28. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    you wifed the fattest chick you fucked?

    or did the hottest chick you fuck become the fattest?

    details, man. and who on earth would say that to their spouse :laugh:
     
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  29. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    Had a buddy that went "pig poking" on a bender. He had sex with what we guesstimated around 700lbs in one night. I got drunk the following weekend and was kinda a loud mouth around his ex about it Without me knowing that they were kinda getting back together. He walked into my house and threw his car keys at me hitting me in the face. Not much i could really do but bleed and feel awful
     
  30. PhupaPhever

    PhupaPhever Well-Known Member
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    These girls aren't fat for TMB standards? Just curious as I read these stories.
    [​IMG]
     
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  31. Don't Hate Me Bro!

    Don't Hate Me Bro! Wigglin my toes on a mink rug...
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    Haha that's awesome.
     
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  32. JohnnyChimpo

    JohnnyChimpo This man, Lenny Pepperidge, AKA Lenny the Pep...
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  33. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Creator of the 'Official Dads of TMB' thread.
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    12 and 3 are definitely fat.
     
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  34. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    Left no right yes
     
  35. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    One of the fat girls I fucked told me I was the first white boy she had ever slept with. She was also white.
     
  36. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    I'd gladly fuck those girls now. This chick was way bigger than that. Like probably plus 30 pounds on the biggest.
     
  37. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    I chased skiny tail in high school and college. She was super thin when we started dating in college. She's 37 now and had two of my kids. My drunk dumb ass was having a conversation about hogging with my old college buddy who liked the fat chicks because he would bang anything that walks. She made a comment like you think you are all that and would never date fat chicks, then said something like "what, you never dated anyone who wasn't thin" ... And my alpha male side came out with my idiot fest. Mind you my wife isn't big. My buddy made it worse because I was leaning on him about the hogs.
     
    #37 tjsblue, Jan 12, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2016
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  38. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    Anyone that wouldn't fuck all of those girls is either gay, scared, or can't reach it.
     
  39. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    boy you hate to see decision making like this

    I assume you've collected prodigious sums of Nigerian currency since?
     
  40. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
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    preach it
     
  41. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    Well thats not the question he asked
     
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  42. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
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    Let's see some more pics of these broads to better determine. IMO
     
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  43. zachary

    zachary <3
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    If you haven't fucked a fat girl then you're not living
     
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  44. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    I'm feeding my wife as we speak.
     
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  45. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    I fucked your sister. That counts as living
     
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  46. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Probably the large consumption of phallic shaped food: candy bars, Popsicles, etc
     
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  47. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    I was going to say something about the pleasure they gain when sausage is in their mouth as well as their experience with it. Boom, nailed it.
     
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  48. Toast

    Toast Doowutchyalike
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    .
    [​IMG]
     
    #48 Toast, Jan 12, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2018
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  49. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    Those are pawgs, not fatties.
     
  50. Houndster

    Houndster Ball don't lie
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    A month or two back I met a Tinder chick at her apartment for the sex. As I'm waiting for her to come down, a beast slightly resembling the girl I had been speaking with approaches me and asks me if Im Lance. As I mutter out a yes I realize that this is the girl that I have been texting with and immediately regret the decision. She was at least 50 pounds heavier than her pics, prolly closer to 80.

    I thought about bolting, but I was too big of a pussy to make the attempt and I hadn't been laid in a while. I sucked down the bottle of wine I brought and took her to pound town as quickly as I could. Needless to say I've never spoken to her again.