King Of the HIll....... GOAT cartoon, bitches

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by BLACK & GOLDschlager, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Good news, Buck. We can get propane to the nursing homes by diverting it away from the Museum of Modern Art. If anyone asks it was a tough choice

    Arlen getting some winter weather and everything going to hell is pretty perfect
     
    Hank Scorpio, Tarpon Nole, og and 4 others like this.
  2. fsu1510

    fsu1510 Well-Known Member
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    Where is this show on?
     
  3. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hulu
     
    fsu1510 likes this.
  4. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
    Donor
    Houston AstrosHouston RocketsLiverpoolTexas Tech Red Raiders altHouston Oilers

    Bobby: Willie Nelson is alternative, he has long hair.

    Hank: Now you take that back. I followed that man from country western to country to adult contemporary and that’s as far as I’m going.
     
  5. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Totally Exonerated, No Wrongdoing
    Donor

    Remember that time we snuck in and mowed the field before the groundskeeper could. The look on his face right before we apologized.
     
  6. whiteboy

    whiteboy ehh, maybe
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksTexas RangersDallas MavericksSneakers

    Joseph (to Bobby): Your mom's as cool as most people's dads.
    Bobby: It's like that book they took out of the school library -- I've got two dads!
    Hank: No, you don't!
     
  7. Toast

    Toast Capo di tutti i capi
    Donor
    Chicago White SoxChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksKansas State WildcatsMontreal Impact

    Now her Spanish wasn't great..
     
  8. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Needs improvement? I have never needed to improve on anything in my whole life

    Now slow down, Peggy. They won't fire you. You're a substitute teacher, they'll just stop calling

    Peggy's such an amazing character
     
    Taques, Owsley, One Two and 8 others like this.
  9. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Cotton's friend at the VFW (Jeter the Beater): In my 35 years at Tom Landry Middle School, I spanked thousands of students. Shaping their character and preparing them to die in wars overseas

    Peggy: Actually I only spanked once

    Cotton: She's just being modest. She's the first teacher since they killed LBJ to stand up to them draft dodgers!
     
  10. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I don’t know that there’s a thread on here that I’ve handed out more likes to than this one
     
  11. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    I tell you what, this rodeo has worked out pretty good for both our sons. I haven't heard the words prop comic since Bobby picked up a rope. And it keeps him away from the video games. He was playing this Tomb Raider game where he was a girl
     
  12. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank after winning the Blue Flame of Valor award:

    "As a young boy, I always dreamed of winning the Super Bowl. Then, as most of you know, that dream was crushed along with my ankle in the class 2A state football championship. Well, I knocked around for a while, sowed my oats, got a job at Jeans West. Long story short, one day at JW, I sold a pair of Jordache to a man who would change my life. To quote Dr. Luther King, I had another dream. To sell propane and propane accessories. The name of the man and the distributorship that made me dream again? Strickland."
     
  13. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Bill: Why would Bug (Dale's dad) be in the gay rodeo?
    Hank: Well the guy is 60, maybe he couldn't make it on the regular circuit. It's like those guys who have to play European basketball or (with a tone indicating his disgust) Canadian football
     
  14. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Bug: So, what are you doing here? Are you gay?
    Hank: What? No, I sell propane!
     
  15. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Well-Known Member
    Donor

  16. tigerbishop11

    tigerbishop11 Bombed out and depleted
    Donor
    New York MetsClemson TigersNew York JetsNew York Rangers

    That’s the good thing about death, either you die or you don’t
     
  17. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: He has the nerve to give me flex time. That's what they give pregnant women and other disableds.

    Bobby: What's a tattler?
    Hank: It's a meter that tells the boss when the driver stops and for how long. It's designed to prevent goof-offs, lunch breaks, unscheduled stops -- all the things the drivers' union fought so hard for

    Peggy: Oh, my lord!
    Hank: What?
    Peggy: The stove! It's not propane, it's electric!
    Hank: No!
    Peggy: Yes!
    Hank: Well, it had better be self cleaning, because I think I'm gonna vomit.
     
  18. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: This whole not working thing is gonna give me a heart attack, I tell you what. God that'd be embarrassing. Hank Hill found dead, not working.
     
  19. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: Boy this a choice cut of North Carolina pine. The perfect wood to honor our veterans
    Peggy: It will be under 600 pounds of sand. Don't blow our budget, Hank. Use that
    Hank: Particle board? Yeah if you want to throw out your float in five or ten years
     
  20. Toast

    Toast Capo di tutti i capi
    Donor
    Chicago White SoxChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksKansas State WildcatsMontreal Impact

  21. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: You get to a build a Habitat for Humanity house for driving drunk? I've been on the waiting list for two years
     
  22. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Ted: Cigar?
    Hank: Don't mind if I -- oh, you probably didn't realize this, but this is Cuban. I'll just go ahead and destroy it for you.
    Kahn: AHHHH!

    Hank: Ted, you fixed the raffle! I could go to jail for this!
     
  23. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: I'm sorry, Kahn, but I couldn't stay there. I just didn't feel comfortable. That's why I left Jeans West, that's why I don't bowl on Tuesday nights, and... oh, forget it. You wouldn't understand.
    Kahn: Oh, yeah, you're right. I always feel comfortable everywhere I go. You know, my original name is Smith. I just changed it to Souphanousinphone when I moved to Texas!
     
  24. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: A youngster with a tool in both hands has no hands left to do drugs
     
  25. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    could have sworn I posted this a while ago but couldn't find it, Little Horrors of Shop is so elite

    Hank: One thing hasn't changed. Kids need shop.
    Carl: Who's going to teach them?
    Hank: The only man handier with a coping saw than Carl Moss.
    Carl: Jack Shermer?
    Hank: What? Jack was all flash. I coped circles around- me! I'll teach shop and I'll do it for free.
     
  26. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    The Real Movement

  27. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    I come home at lunch and watch two episodes every day. Incredible break from work
     
  28. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    I did that a while back, puts you in a great mood.
     
  29. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Peggy: Bill I had no idea you spoke Cajun. Perhaps thats because I try not to ask you questions

    Don Meredith: So you must be Hank Hill
    Hank: Mr Meredith, I have admired you from your playing days to Monday Night Football to your iced tea commercials
    Don Meredith: Well my mom always calls me Don or Donnie
    Hank: Wow that's a great story Mr. Meredith

    Hank: You know I built a 10-foot Alamo beer can too
    Don Meredith: Did you spot weld it or hot glue?
    Hank: Weld!
    Don Meredith: Ha, that's the only way to go
     
    Hank Scorpio, One Two, Taques and 7 others like this.
  30. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: Let's go Bobby it's almost 10. With the Dallas traffic we won't get to the airport till noon and that flight leaves at 4 with or without us
    Bobby: The turkey smells good. Can I hold it on my lap to sniff for the ride?
    Hank: The turkey rides up front with me away from the rear defroster. I just talked to your grandma and I went out on a limb and promised moistness and smokiness

    Peggy: You will buy Luanne a ticket at the airport. And it is not going to be easy, because the day before Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, one of the busiest travel days of the year

    Curbside check-in guy: Did you pack your own bag and have they been in your sight at all times?
    Hank: Well I had to set them on the curb when I unloaded them from the trunk
    Guy: But they were in your sight?
    Hank: No I had my back turned
    Guy: But just for a moment?
    Hank: Well I'd say it was more like a minute than a moment
    Peggy: Oh for god's sake just say they were in your sight Hank
    Hank: Peggy the man is an official of the United States airlines, I'd be committing perjury

    Kahn: Hey Hank! Look Minh, it's the early birds. Hey Hank, our flight the same time as yours. I saw you leave your house at 10 AM. We leave 5 hours later. You're still waiting, you dumb redneck
    Hank: Yeah, okay. Happy Thanksgiving
    Kahn: Oh yeah, you too

    Hank: Excuse me sir, Hank Hill. I would like to volunteer my services in any way necessary to help get this plane off the ground. So, put me to work
     
  31. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint It's like the Weimar Republic in that place
    Donor
    Penn State Nittany LionsGreen Bay PackersChelseaHartford WhalersPhoenix Rising

    This might be my favorite ep.

    Hank: Bobby's only been around rich people for a few hours and he already looks like that kid on the paint can.

    [​IMG]
     
    SC, Cornfed Buffalo, One Two and 7 others like this.
  32. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Bill: I didn't know you sewed, Hank
    Dale: Sewer
    Hank: I am not sewing. I am upholstering, which is one of the five original industrial arts
     
  33. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Well-Known Member
    Donor

  34. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Searched (on mobile) to see if this was posted and yeah back in 2011
     
    whiteboy, Taques, Clown Baby and 5 others like this.
  35. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Trip Larsen: How would you like to ride in a hot air balloon? Hey I don't have to tell you it's powered by propane
    Hank: Well that's one of the eight uses of propane I haven't experienced first hand

    Hank: Peggy, I feel like Neil Armstrong up here. I can see everybody's gutters, and they look great!
     
  36. Illinihockey

    Illinihockey Well-Known Member
    Chicago CubsChicago BullsChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksIllinois Fightin' IlliniLiverpool

    this is my favorite Hank quote of all time
     
    Clown Baby and Cornelius Suttree like this.
  37. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: I bought some steaks here yesterday and they weren't very good
    Mega-lo-mart employee: Maybe you cooked them wrong
    Hank: Ugh. You don't know me so I'll pretend I didn't hear that

    Hank: Co-op huh? All those VWs in the parking lot I just assumed it was a Unitarian church
     
  38. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: Hey there Bobby, I'd ask you how your day was but since you're the boss I already know. Difficult and rewarding
     
  39. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: Excuse me, I need to use this parental listening booth to screen my son's music
     
  40. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: I can't just leave work ten minutes early on a Friday afternoon

    Hank: I have a job as assistant manager of Strickland Propane. My day begins at 9 and ends at 5. Not 4:50

    Bill: Come on, Hank. Let's go moon the lobby from the glass elevators
    Hank: We are at this hotel as guests
    Dale: My god, Hank. Can we ever have a party you don't poop?
    Bill: Yeah, you still owe me one from high school. When the whole team mooned Belton and you just held up a sign saying "good game"
     
  41. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Peggy: Hank, what is it about models that rock stars find so attractive?
     
  42. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Totally Exonerated, No Wrongdoing
    Donor

    Hey Hank, how’s your back?

    Great Joe Jack, how’s your gambling program?
     
  43. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Totally Exonerated, No Wrongdoing
    Donor

    Yoga? Are you sure you played American football and not...soccer
     
  44. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank wearing a coat and tie in his license photo :laugh:

    [​IMG]
     
  45. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Totally Exonerated, No Wrongdoing
    Donor

    Hold on, I know what’s going on here. You don’t need to use my bathroom, you’re just gonna go die in there.
     
  46. Illinihockey

    Illinihockey Well-Known Member
    Chicago CubsChicago BullsChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksIllinois Fightin' IlliniLiverpool

    Tojos came at me faster than I could get em, so I had to get em faster
     
  47. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

    Donor
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsArizona WildcatsTexas AandM Aggies altTennessee Volunteers

    "I still remember the first date with Peggy all those years ago. Man I wished that handshake could have lasted forever"
     
  48. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
    Donor TMB OG

    Hank: Gentlemen, I'd like to make a toast. To a man who's backyard soil was of a consistency which made for hassle-free excavation and had no interfering sewage lines
     
  49. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint It's like the Weimar Republic in that place
    Donor
    Penn State Nittany LionsGreen Bay PackersChelseaHartford WhalersPhoenix Rising

    Hank: Dang it, Bobby! Now people will see that oil stain and think I’m a drunk!