Mahomes signs endorsement deal with Hunt’s ketchup / ALE is in rouxins over mayonnaise

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by GoodForAnother, Dec 19, 2018.

  1. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    And I'm probably not the ultimate authority on French cooking. More than you, sure, but not the ultimate.
     
  2. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    I’m not mad, I’m actually laughing at making garlic mayo because I don’t know what aioli is
     
  3. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    It figures that you would be cooking cats.
     
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  4. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    I said use a mixer and eggs. Larousse says use a mixer and eggs. We are both right.
     
  5. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    You guys are not taking this "L" well :ohdear:
     
  6. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Larousse actually says use a blender, but you've taken enough L's today so I'll let that go.
     
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  7. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    Making aioli in my stand mixer to own two chefs online
     
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  8. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    THERE IS ONLY ONE EXPLICIT WAY TO COOK EVERYTHING

    :roll:


    You two would literally be laughed out of any professional kitchen
     
  9. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    We’re both working chefs. Are you?
     
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  10. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    Moreso than either of you :roll:
     
  11. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    But you don’t even have kitchen equipment
     
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  12. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    You keep saying this, and I don't know why. I guess grasping at straws at this point.:idk:
     
  13. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    You said you haven’t worked at a restaurant since August (and haven’t made an aioli in 2018)
     
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  14. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    I actually didn't say either of those things.
     
  15. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    I still bandaid at restaurants around town every now and then, for a little extra cash and to stay sharp. And you realize I was talking about august 2018, right? You're seriously losing the thread :ohdear:
     
  16. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    So you’ve got a mortar and pestle but you’re using a stand mixer to make garlic mayo?
     
  17. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    Bro...I hate to break it to you; but aioli is basically just garlicky mayo. Drawing a line in the sand there doesn't make you sophisticated and knowledgeable, it makes you a pedantic cunt. There is no chef in the world who would bat an eye if you described it that way. And, yes, of course I have a mortar and a mixer, those are basic cooking items.
     
  18. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    So is Donkey Sauce. :themoreyouknow:
     
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  19. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    I hate to break it to you that aioli should be the consistency of canned tuna. Kinda like pulpy OJ but more viscosity.
     
  20. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    I want to go on record as saying that Ale should not be allowed to own a chef’s knife. Those are to be earned and he has not.
     
  21. Barves2125

    Barves2125 "Ready to drive the Ferarri" - Reuben Foster
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    Call him 'butter on high heat' because that was a meltdown! God am I doing this right I have made <150 aoilis this calendar year I don't know what I'm doooooing
     
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  22. NCHusker88

    NCHusker88 We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    This has been one of the most quintessential tmb threads in recent memory
     
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  23. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    You should be making a small batch of aioli each day :twocents:
     
  24. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci How can less be more? It's impossible
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    Wolfsburg

    aioli is a word that irritates me and it's been used about 100 times in here
     
  25. NCHusker88

    NCHusker88 We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    Aioli
     
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  26. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    People that pretend to be irritated by words are what irritates me. The fuck is wrong with you Joe it’s a word for fuck’s sake.
     
  27. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci How can less be more? It's impossible
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    Wolfsburg

    it reminds me of a $16 cheese burger
     
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  28. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    It clearly says he's a clown baby. Think we've found the source of some of his kitchen issues
     
  29. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    No kitchen issues here, only a depth of knowledge and the proper equipment.
     
  30. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Poor wording on my part as I've been working very hard in the kitchen today and am currently exhausted before me and the rest of the staff can get to our cocaine. The "his" in that statement was referring to the man who doesn't know the difference between babies and shoes
     
  31. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    I gave up. These guys watch food network and read a few cook books and think they know shit. :meh:
     
  32. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    Reminds me of that old line attributed to James Beard: “shoes baby, never worn.”
     
    #282 Clown Baby, Dec 20, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2018
  33. AIOLICOCK

    AIOLICOCK Well-Known Member
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    Imagine getting indignant over using a mixer instead of a blender when the garlic is already getting confited and microplaned :facepalm:
     
  34. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    Aspergers... right?
     
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  35. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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  36. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    I’m picturing Ale frying a bunch of garlic and starting a kitchen fire. Poor guy probably doesn’t have a fire extinguisher.
     
  37. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I just made my second aioli of the day.
     
  38. Fancy

    Fancy thanks, i hate it
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    What a beautiful thread. Ketchup is acceptable but I prefer BBQ in lieu of ketchup. That said, I hope everyone enjoys a nice aoili this year with their loved ones.
     
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  39. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother they don’t allow you to have bees in here
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    This thread is literally perfect
     
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  40. leroi

    leroi Rival Shark Boat Captain
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    it seems rational to me
     
  41. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother they don’t allow you to have bees in here
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    As a professional chef I have to say I’m embarrassed for ale and his complete lack of knowledge on aioli prep. It’s no wonder he can’t keep a chefing job.
     
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  42. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    There’s dozens of combined Michelin stars in this thread and none of them belong to Ale
     
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  43. lfriend

    lfriend Well-Known Member
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    As a professional chef I am proud to say that I did not stick my dick into the bottle of ketchup.

    Maybe.
     
  44. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    There’s a good book called Salt, Fat, Aioli, Heat that details the four essential elements of every food
     
  45. Seavie

    Seavie Loading tweet...
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  46. Corch

    Corch Hey Joe Rogan, is it almost lunch time?
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    Lol I'm in awe of the lack of self awareness.

    As well as the fact that a "professional chef" doesn't know how to make a proper aioli.
     
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  47. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    I didn’t know anything about what went into a proper aioli but now I do, no thanks to Ale, but thanks to everyone else
     
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  48. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    Ale’s got a stand mixer filled with garlic, vegetable oil, and eggs. We give him some flour and maybe he can try his hand at garlic bread.
     
  49. Taques

    Taques let's mosey
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    if in the future i have somebody ask what the mainboard is, ill link them this topic
     
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  50. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Boom... head shot.
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    Hey fuckers, let's dance.
     
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