marcus writes in his diary about ASOS

Discussion in 'Game of Thrones (ASOIAF)' started by marcus, May 27, 2012.

  1. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Only a couple chapters in, but I'll start anyway. If you don't like my thread, I will literally mail you a piece of my shit for you to eat.

    The Others. Thank. Fucking. God. It's only been about 432 chapters since their last appearance, so the three horns gave me a semi.

    Loved Chett's betrayal that never happened(or maybe it still will?), but I also look forward to someone chopping his dick off and jamming it in his mouth.

    Jaime's POV? This should be awesome. So smug, such an asshole, bad as a motherfucker, and I would imagine will somehow sneak into my list of favorite characters.

    That's pretty much all I've got, but I figured I'd get it rolling. Hope I don't let you down, OTM and Celemo . WBN ...your words...they hurt.
     
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  2. Jaqen H'ghar

    Jaqen H'ghar Valar Morghulis

    Yep
     
  3. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    I have such a boner over how awesome this thread will be
     
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  4. BayouMafia

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    wish I could read ASOS for the first time again
     
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  5. Manny

    Manny I love lamp.

     
  6. Wu

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    just waiting for it...
     
  7. NinjaRXA

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    >this thread

    [​IMG]
     
  8. The Blackfish

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  9. jorge

    jorge Founder of Post ITT if your team sucks
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  10. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Catelyn - Meh. I might have missed something, because I'm trying to figure out why she turned the tables so fast on her brother. I know Roose is a weirdo, but is he a total creep at heart like his son? I truly do know nothing, here.

    Arya - Warg shit. YES. This girl is a tough little c-rag. She destined to be a leader and probably a great fighter. She's gonna bang Gendry in a couple years, too.

    Tyrion - Getting a little tired of seeing him have to fight off everyone, including his own family. He's one of the only truly good dudes King's Landing and now his dicknose dad takes a giant diarrhea shit on his face. Tywin got bumped down the list.

    Davos - Very happy he's alive, but goddamn does this guy shame himself too much. I don't deserve this, I have forsaken that. Guy, pump the breaks on the humbleness...I would like to high five you for being alive, though.

    Sansa - Oddly, this was my favorite chapter. Lady Olenna is the fucking tits, saggy and old as they may be. Pretty much going full old-person and saying whatever the fuck she wants, when she wants (I look forward to that someday myself, but I'm probably gonna die of a heart attack at 50...but I digress). She's clearly the matriarch or House Tyrell and reminds me of a female Walder Frey. Oh wait, shit. TIMEOUT. Baratheon's have Targaryen blood? This lady does not seem senile in the slightest, so whether or not she's just spreading rumor, it's still cool as fuck to think about.
     
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  11. citrodong

    citrodong IT ME.
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    I'm early in ASOS. I'll throw my reactions in here too.

    I agree with most of what you said but I am pumped as fuck about sansa being married off to that Willis nigga. Don't know why I care about sansas happiness but its that old bag Olenna's scheming that got me rock hard.

    Jamie is going to fuck bri. I remember 3 grade enough to know you don't insult a chick that much without wanting dat ass. Bri will be down with it reluctantly because she won't want to break her oath and shit but I just think Jamie's sword won't be enough to get away from her, he'll have to use the ol' meat dagger.
     
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  12. Babou

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    big fan
     
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  13. Celemo

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    :popcorn:

    With the exception of Mace, I'm a big fan of the Tyrell family
     
  14. Jaqen H'ghar

    Jaqen H'ghar Valar Morghulis

    fag

    me too
     
  15. Lawnole23

    Lawnole23 Well-Known Member
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    I feel a lot like Cartman waiting for Scott Tennerman to show up.
     
  16. Wu

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  17. jorge

    jorge Founder of Post ITT if your team sucks
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    Thats why when Robert tells Ned he should have taken the throne Ned says "You had the better claim."
     
  18. Cronk

    Cronk just living the dream...
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    a man can hope fellow book-fags can bite their lip and just let marcus and fried-chicken tell their point of views and thoughts and then wait to comment until they are done...

    I certainly stayed the hell away from this board until I was completely done for fear of getting spoilered
     
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  19. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    Word!!
     
  20. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Ah, makes sense. Thank you. I appreciate the connection and would welcome any more in the future, if you notice me missing some that I should be picking up.
     
  21. Aaron Hernandez

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    Read, damn you. Keep Reading.
     
  22. Cronk

    Cronk just living the dream...
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    pffft, there is so much stuff all of us missed the first or even second time through...i felt like such a dumbass after reading a book and then reading the threads on here
     
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  23. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Ha I will. Cookout today and other shit. Gonna try to knock out 100 or so pages tonight and tomorrow afternoon during baby naps.
     
  24. GBG_24

    GBG_24 Y'all ready to smash some fruit?!?
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    I don't know that I agree with marcus and fried-chicken using the same thread. I feel like one or the other could end up spoiling things for the other guy.
     
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  25. The Blackfish

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    I agree. fried-chicken go ahead and start your own diary thread. I don't care if everyone has a diary they keep as they read through all the books.
     
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  26. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Knock on wood if you are with me
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    I obv just finished that part, can't wait to see what Mr. Marcus' reaction.
     
  27. citrodong

    citrodong IT ME.
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    Ive been holding off my reactions to some fucking sweet chapters for fear of spoiling. I'll start a new thread sometime. I relinquish all claim to this thread.
     
  28. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Sorry, haven't made as much progress as I would've liked. Work and the baby make it difficult sometimes. I only got through Jon and Daenerys.

    Jon - Cool to finally hear from Mance Rayder. Even cooler to know that he pulled a Bael the Bard. I feel like I have to go back and reread that chapter to see if they make note of him at all. I know Jon still think's he's a man of The Night's Watch, but I also think there's a part of him that would bail and join Mance. :idk:

    Daenerys - Pretty cool story about the Unsullied v Dothraki. I hope she actually does get her army and fucks some shit up in Westeros. Jorah making moves. Dis nigga tryna get outta that frieeeeeeeeeend zoooooooooone. No clue where that is going, but we shall see.

    That's all I got. Hoping we have a slow night tonight, because I can usually get 75+ at the station.
     
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  29. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Though I'm coming to the realization that this thread is on big setup for you all watch my reaction to some revelation, I will continue anyway. You all can give me the slowest, most passionate blowjob ever.

    Bran - Short chapter. Getting to where I just assume that I'm reading a third eye dream from the get go, unless it proves otherwise. Like that he's getting good control of his abilities when sleeping, but looking forward to when he can be any animal, tree, etc. that he wants.

    Davos - Kinda figured that Sallador would be more pissed at the situation, but dude seems easygoing enough. Sucks that Davos survives a near-death experience, wasting on an island, only to be thrown in a dungeon. This lady is a cunt. I must say that I'm a little disappointed that her boobs aren't as big as they should be in the show, but that's neither here nor there.

    Jaime - Love the flashback. Aerys shitting himself and Jaime cutting him down. To me, the whole dishonorable Kingslayer shit is a little forced. Aerys became a fucking whacked-out creep-psycho and deserved to die. Who really gives a shit that it was one of his kingsguard? Settle the fuck down, Westeros.

    Arya - The crossover/near miss at the Inn is pretty cool. I like that this chapter proves that Brianne is pretty cunning. Didn't think it was the best idea for Arya to expose herself.

    Catelyn - Eh. Whatever.

    Jon - Giants = awesome. Becoming a big fan of Tormund, too. Guy seems like me, a huge fucking mouth, really awesome, and pretty funny, too. His dick is also apparently giant, which only furthers the match. Truthfully, the only thing that I walked away from this chapter with is that I am going to jack off to a fictional character using imagination porn when I get home from work, or sometime thereafter. Ygritte was good looking on the show, but she reached a different level of hotness. A well placed use of the word "fuck" and I'm a little kid again, getting my first boner. Well played, GRRM. I will masturbate to your prose, old friend.

    Sansa - She's gotta be getting set up by Cersei or some shit.

    Arya - The brothers of the Kingswood seem pretty cool. No clue where that may be going.

    Stopped here, but noticed that Sam has a point of view, now. Looking forward to it.
     
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  30. jorge

    jorge Founder of Post ITT if your team sucks
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    I'm so jealous. I wish. Enjoy this book. Fuck.
     
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  31. NinjaRXA

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    every cat chapter ever
     
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  32. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Sam - fucking great chapter. Must have missed that animals could be wights. Sam kills an Other. Wanna kiss his fat face. I'm thinking they run into the wildling horde. Good stuff.
     
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  33. Wu

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    I honestly forgot Cat had any POV chapters.

    marcus what page are you on?
     
  34. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    I'm on page 298.

    Tyrion - Whaaaaaaat the fuck is happening here? Cersei getting sent off to Highgarden? Tyrion and Sansa? Sheeeeeeeeeeit. Tywin does not fuck around.

    Catelyn - This Karstark thing is going to mess things up, I'd imagine. No clue how they're going to win the Freys back. She thinks that her other sons are dead, so who is the person that she's talking about giving to the Freys? Hmmmmm, that's a mystery! (Chris Farley - SNL - Zagat's)

    Jaime - I was hoping him and Brienne would go at it and her being pretty awesome(regardless of Jaime's chains) was to be expected. Glad to see Vargo Hoat back in some shit cause he's a weirdo and will probably be entertaining. I'm guessing that Vargo Hoat went all Vargo Hoat on Jaime and chopped off a hand or a foot. That would suck balls.

    On to an Arya chapter, now.
     
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  35. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    this thread has already exceeded my expectations :clap:
     
  36. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    :blush:
     
  37. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Slightly related: I Google image searched for "Ygritte" and this sucker popped up:

    :laugh: NSFW
    [​IMG]
     
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  38. NinjaRXA

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    is that jizz or a signature in the top right?
     
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  39. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    :laugh: who draws/paints this shit?
     
  40. Guns

    Guns yeah, but what about antifa?
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    [​IMG]
     
  41. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    It appears to be a spot of precum.
     
  42. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Good question. A may or may not have had a semi from looking at it...maybe.
     
  43. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    omg i can't breathe. that picture is fucking hysterical. for fuck's sake who would give his cock so much detail? fuck i haven't laughed this hard at a post in a while
     
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  44. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
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    I would've guessed Shocker, but it was jon and ygritte, and not the knight of flowers and renly.
     
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  45. three stacks

    three stacks hasta la victoria siempre
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    fuck man i can't stop laughing. at least draw the cock inside her or something
     
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  46. zeberdee

    zeberdee read it? I own it. but no, I have not read it
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    that picture is fucking hilarious.
     
  47. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia that slumdog millionaire Bollywood flow
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    will not be googling that :tmbtailgate:
     
  48. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
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    :roll: just noticed his sword in the corner foreground
     
  49. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
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    i mean the valyrian steel one, not the flesh one
     
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  50. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    I know, right?