Midnight Mel Masturbates Maliciously

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Lip, Sep 10, 2023.

  1. Rise

    Rise Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I mean that is one stat. Perception and particularly client perception matters as well.
     
  2. Bricktop the white

    Bricktop the white Well-Known Member

    individual jones day attorneys donating to absolve thmselves of the work they have to do.

    Jones Day is *the* biglaw firm for any republican shithead who gets in trouble.


    unrelated (possibly related?) ive never been impressed with any JD attorneys i've met.
     
  3. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
    Donor

    Spartans arent woke and our lawyers will make sure it stays that way!
     
  4. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Detroit LionsDetroit PistonsMichigan State Spartans

    I don’t know why this thread cares about Jones Day. Are we done making fun of the guy who masturbate his way out of a $95m guaranteed contract?
     
  5. ats

    ats Well-Known Member

    just a perfect post from Tug to refocus on the tugging
     
  6. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Upstanding Citizen
    Donor

  7. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    Jerking off on the phone is the saddest way to lose $90m. You're getting yourself off and the other person isn't even there
     
  8. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Upstanding Citizen
    Donor

    If there's any good WRs who are looking to get out of the B1G then KU will gladly take them off your hands. Same for DE
     
  9. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Mel tugger
     
  10. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersMilwaukee BucksPhoenix SunsPittsburgh PenguinsSan Diego PadresBarAndGrillCoors Light

    Pat narduzzi to Michigan state
     
  11. Lip

    Lip Well-Endowed Member
    Donor
    Detroit Lions

    no u
     
    Fire Jimbob, devine and BleedinGreen like this.
  12. Charles DeMar

    Charles DeMar Smug Outlaw
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesHouston AstrosHouston RocketsHouston TexansRice Owls

    Pretty sure an attorney wrote this ;)

     
  13. Lip

    Lip Well-Endowed Member
    Donor
    Detroit Lions

    what a scumbag
     
  14. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Can no one learn from Hugh Freeze????
     
  15. BleedinGreen

    BleedinGreen Detroit, Michigan State, and Celery
    Donor
    Detroit PistonsDetroit LionsMichigan State SpartansChelseaDetroit Red Wings

    Huge fan of the FMLA claim right before being shit canned. Playing all the hits.
     
  16. Lip

    Lip Well-Endowed Member
    Donor
    Detroit Lions

    retaliation!

    next we’ll probably hear he joined the military too and this action is being taken because of his service obligations
     
  17. M'ark Pepperonio

    M'ark Pepperonio Free mahi mahi! Free mahi mahi!
    Staff Donor
    Michigan State Spartans

     
    Hank Scorpio likes this.
  18. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    Gotta to do the full playbook and say you're going to rehab for sex addiction
     
  19. Lip

    Lip Well-Endowed Member
    Donor
    Detroit Lions

    the rumors out there right now are getting good

    apparently he was having an affair with the old Women’s bball coach who left her position abruptly

    also he was allegedly recently banned for life from the Lansing Country Club (before the masturbation stuff broke)
     
  20. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersAtlanta Braves

    (mid)night putting?
     
  21. Rise

    Rise Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Lol the discovery threat at the end. PLEASE SETTLE WITH ME.
     
  22. Cornfed Buffalo

    Cornfed Buffalo What's a Narduzzi?
    Donor
    Colorado Buffaloes

    So maybe he really was extra friendly with the training staff while in Boulder
     
    jbr, Charles DeMar, CUAngler and 2 others like this.
  23. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Atlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAvengers


    Please post all rumors here regardless of whether or not they are unsubstantiated
     
    drewru, BWC, Prospector and 18 others like this.
  24. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersDenver NuggetsBig 8 ConferenceNebraska Cornhuskers alt

    he probably deserves to be fired for being dumb as hell but MSU is absolutely doing this to get out of that contract. If he had Sparty in the top 10 right now, he'd be looking at like a 1 game suspension and have to take a sex addiction class.
     
    drewru, Prospector, Red Rover and 3 others like this.
  25. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Detroit LionsDetroit PistonsMichigan State Spartans

    I mean sexually harassing a sexual assault survivor / advocate would have given him more than one game. But yes, we are getting out of that contract
     
  26. RalfBully

    RalfBully #21
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Michigan State SpartansDetroit PistonsDetroit LionsTiger WoodsDetroit TigersSneakers

    I already yelled at Lip for not posting more of these because I havent heard them either. This is the best part/time of a scandal.
     
    #526 RalfBully, Sep 19, 2023 at 2:08 PM
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2023 at 2:27 PM
    Red Rover, Lip, Constant and 2 others like this.
  27. pez

    pez Competent
    Staff
    SMU Mustangs

    apparently it’s a go to move? (Have no idea if this is accurate but 9 year old tweet)

     
  28. Lip

    Lip Well-Endowed Member
    Donor
    Detroit Lions

    Per MGoBlog:

    Also apparently it was "common knowledge" among MSU insiders he was gambling in Vegas, drinking on the job, banging Suzy Merchant, and not at all involved with game planning. In fact all he did was clap and sweat since he signed on the dotted line.
     
    Charles DeMar and Prospector like this.
  29. portlandspartan

    portlandspartan Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Tbh can’t hate on this. I get a decent performance review and mail it in for the next 6 months
     
  30. Tug

    Tug Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Detroit LionsDetroit PistonsMichigan State Spartans

    I believe this clap and sweat line.
     
    Lip, Charles DeMar, Constant and 6 others like this.
  31. $P1

    $P1 Ball State #1
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Michigan WolverinesChicago CubsLos Angeles LakersChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksWest Ham UnitedBall State Cardinals

    This is what I have in my notes as well.
     
  32. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
    Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsBorussia DortmundArsenalAtlanta UnitedAvengersMiami Heat

    He and Bryan Harsin should team up. All that guy did was sweat, clap, lift weights, and bang his assistant.
     
    Lip, BudKilmer and ned's head like this.
  33. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    And then get paid millions to go away. It's an American success story.
     
    Nole0515 and Chipper>Jeter like this.
  34. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
    Donor
    Utah UtesArkansas Razorbacks

    That's Ty Webb's post!
     
    Ty Webb, Nole0515 and CUAngler like this.