MLS Thread: New Season, Same Dirtball

initially thought it missed -> saw it hit back of the net but was still skeptical -> heard horn and saw crowd reaction -> delayed fuck yeah celebration -> wait why is Josef just sitting on the ground -> wait what did Kevin just say -> oh no Josef looks upset -> *sees replay* ->

was a true roller coaster of emotions

 

just gonna type in some random nonsense here because tmb servers incorrectly thought I hit post twice

 

Field turf sucks

 

Also we suck

 

Started drinking 4 hours ago and Sporting doesn’t kick off for another 1.5 hrs...fuck

 

Whatchu drankin, Ser Dirt?

 

just makes the bleach easier to swallow

 

Evan and ginger. Need to add some caffeine to the mix if I’m going to make it till the end of the Sporting game.

 

Godspeed

 

Fuck yes Pipé

 

God damn it. Get off your fucking ass and help Tim out. Cunts.

 

If I had a nickel for every times I’ve said “Zusi you stupid fuck”

 

Game

 

The entire LAG team has decided to quit moving for the rest of the match and Sporting STILL cant do shit

 

BUMP!!!!

 

Haha. Jokes on you. “User” DirtBall RIPd like 45 mins ago. Bet you feel dumb.

 

No one could of guessed that marking Zlatan with USL star starter player Graham Smith would end poorly. This game is such a fickle lady.

 

When tying the noose you go counter clockwise correct?

 

JK. My good fiend ‘Cup o Bleach’ knows how to handle a noose.

 

And by “Cup” I mean gallon jug

 

And by “gallon jug” I mean bathtub full with a silly straw

 

Conceding 6 goals in 1 half is tight y’all

 

Pete Vermes -> Curt Onalfo

 

Pipé is the only one worth a cunt

 

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN STL IS REPRESENTED IN THE MLS THREAD

 

Way to go Vermes. First time since 2001 ya bitch.

 

BRB, going to go punch Vermes in his “dick”

 

Im going to be so pissed if someone fucks up and SKC backs their way into the playoffs.

 

Shift the narrative: let’s talk about #RacistDong. Dirt isn’t on his way to jump off a bridge I swear....

 

Dirt:

 

Seriously, what in the cunt fucking shit

 

haha holy fuck, the worst hand in poker

 

“It’s the worst I’ve ever seen them”

~Stuart Holden on ‘Sporting’ KC

 

But a great hand to slit your wrists to hooooo boy

 

I’m old enough to remember tweets like this:

 

MODS!!!!!

 

Dirt, your defense.....woof

 

I don’t deserve PRO.

 

LAG just scored again

 

LULZ

 

Tom Barlow, Kyle Duncan, and Muyl giving Portland all they can handle. For one half at least.