Official Dads of TMB - Introducing Dad Platinum®

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Clown Baby, May 17, 2018.

  1. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    I’ve recently been working with the mods to develop Dad Platinum®. Dad Platinum® is an algorithm that recognizes when a parenting question has been previously asked and answered. Dad Platinum® then sends a notification to the original posters (whom we’re calling Dad Experts or Dadperts™️ for short), so that they can share their expertise here.

    We’re very excited about this feature and believe it will revolutionize the way TMB Dads share parenting information.
     
  2. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Florida GatorsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersAvengersMiami Heat

    First question to test it out

    What do I do if my grandmother wants to hold her great grandkid?
     
    Baron, Luka, Brocephus and 16 others like this.
  3. 20/20/20/20

    20/20/20/20 something tasteful but not too bland
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersCharlotte HornetsCleveland BrownsDetroit TigersNebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Thanks for all your hard work.
     
  4. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    Boo MFer! Clown Baby
     
    Baron, dump, Sex Fuckhead and 2 others like this.
  5. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
    Donor TMB OG

    Grill her about college football rosters first.
     
    Hurley 864, blind dog, Luka and 13 others like this.
  6. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    It’s good to have a control but I don’t want all the Dad Platinum® notifications going to one person. It’s very possible that he might lie about receiving them.
     
    dump, devine and Arkadin like this.
  7. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

  8. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    Dad Platinum® is still in its infancy but we’re hoping to make badges for our Dadperts. Until then, every Dadpert can just include it in their bio section.
     
    dump, Sex Fuckhead and Arkadin like this.
  9. Fudd VanVleet

    Fudd VanVleet I'm the meat chef
    Donor
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsAuburn TigersNew York YankeesPhiladelphia 76'ersArizona State Sun DevilsBig Ten Conference

    I thought the modzis merged it!
     
    dump and Clown Baby like this.
  10. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    As soon as Dad Platinum® is out of beta mode, the mods are going to delete any imposter threads and merge my famous original Dads thread with this one.
     
  11. joey jo-jo jr shabadoo

    joey jo-jo jr shabadoo the pope of chilitown

    make sure our friend edwin gets his badge

    http://www.trentonian.com/article/TT/20130705/LIFE/130709854

     
  12. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Surf Wyoming
    Donor
    Wake Forest Demon DeaconsDenver NuggetsWyoming Cowboys

    How do I convince Bradford and Hubert to start taking their classical piano lessons and polo practices more seriously?

    I think the platinum program is an outstanding idea and ripe for cross-branding opportunities with the King of Beers and virtually every gentleman’s club across the land. And maybe Amex.
     
    dump, Sex Fuckhead and Clown Baby like this.
  13. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersPhoenix SunsPittsburgh PenguinsTiger WoodsNational LeagueBarAndGrillCoors Light

    What if we don’t have a kid per se but almost had sex once?
     
    Tiffin likes this.
  14. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    Sorry Devine but Dad Platinum® is for registered sex-havers. Hopefully we’ll penetrate other markets eventually.
     
  15. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    Looking at the analytics, user Capstone 88, who has extensive knowledge of horses and whose wife is a piano teacher, was tagged by this post courtesy of Dad Platinum®. Not sure why he hasn’t responded yet.
     
    dump, a.tramp, Woodrow and 4 others like this.
  16. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I just got a notification for this but I'm not a dad. I'm wondering if there's another user with colonel in the username. Beta mode problems, maybe? Mods?
     
    dump, Sex Fuckhead, Why?Pokes and 2 others like this.
  17. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    So the tagging system works, we just need to work out a few kinks with Dad Platinum®
     
    dump, Sex Fuckhead and colonel_forbin like this.
  18. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville Predators2pac

    Thanks for the follow up Clown Baby. Why?Pokes i set the standard every morning that little AJ needs to earn daddy’s love and being a proletariat that skips practices simply doesn’t stack up for the number behind his name. Hope this helps.

    Yours in fatherhood,
    Capstone
     
    TheSkeeter, Fusiontegra, Luka and 7 others like this.
  19. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    If Dad Platinum® reaches the heights that we expect, it’ll be my second greatest accomplishment ever. The first you ask? Being a dad. The third? Thread-starting, duh.
     
    941Gator, Fusiontegra, Luka and 7 others like this.
  20. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
    Donor

    My wife and I are going to try soon though so make it so I can turn notifications on in the future
     
    dump, Capstone 88 and Clown Baby like this.
  21. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    If you could throw in a reference to Dad Platinum®, we’d love to use this quote in our marketing materials. With your permission of course
     
    dump and colonel_forbin like this.
  22. AIP

    AIP Spilled the Paint
    Donor
    Temple OwlsPhiladelphia PhilliesPhiladelphia EaglesPhiladelphia Flyers

    Great thread idea
     
  23. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    Thank you
     
    dump and AIP like this.
  24. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    TMB OG
    New Jersey DevilsRutgers Scarlet KnightsNew York Red Bulls

    Can we have a Dad Platinum Plus? I feel like I barely contribute to the dad thread because my kids are too old nowadays.
     
    dump and -Asshole- like this.
  25. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia that slumdog millionaire Bollywood flow
    Staff Donor
    FulhamLSU TigersNew Orleans SaintsTexas Rangers

    That makes you one of the venerable wise ones who answer questions.
     
    dump and shawnoc like this.
  26. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    You can still contribute to Dad Platinum® regardless of your children’s age. I just don’t want this to turn into a thing where we alienate other posters for having less kids, having younger kids, starting knock-off threads, etc.
     
    dump, -Asshole- and shawnoc like this.
  27. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Hi, Dad here. Great thread. I give it 5 out of 5.

    Thanks,
    Bruce
     
    dump and Clown Baby like this.
  28. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    As a thread-starter, this means a lot. But as a dad, this means the world to me.
     
  29. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville Predators2pac

    Hey, what gives with the price of the new Mercedes G Class? Looking at getting AJ a nice starter vehicle when he gets his permit and the prices have sky rocketed
     
    dump, Tobias and Woodrow like this.
  30. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersPhoenix SunsPittsburgh PenguinsTiger WoodsNational LeagueBarAndGrillCoors Light

    I just had sex into a hand towel am I in yet
     
  31. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    You’re now in the algorithm. Anytime a dad jacks off into a hand towel, you’ll be tagged.
     
  32. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Boom... head shot.
    Donor TMB OG

    Congrats on the impending arrival of your little wash clothes. We'll help you name them for sure.
     
  33. Heesu

    Heesu Dean of Partyology
    Michigan State SpartansGrateful Dead

    Hi, my wife is 32 weeks pregnant. Is this the thread for me?
     
    dump and Sex Fuckhead like this.
  34. AIP

    AIP Spilled the Paint
    Donor
    Temple OwlsPhiladelphia PhilliesPhiladelphia EaglesPhiladelphia Flyers

    How old?
     
    2 County likes this.
  35. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    TMB OG
    New Jersey DevilsRutgers Scarlet KnightsNew York Red Bulls

    12, 9, 6.
    I feel like I need a “stupid shit your pubescent child does” thread more than anything else right now.

    Spring concert was tonight. I’m driving him to the concert and he asks to stop for an iced tea on the way so I pull over to the pharmacy. 10 minutes go by, I’m sitting in the parking lot, and he still isn’t out yet so I go look for him but he’s not in the store. I call his cell and it rings in my car because he left it there. A minute later I get a call from his friend’s cell. He forgot that I was waiting in the parking lot, walked the rest of the way to his school, and wants me to drive his phone over to him.
     
    blind dog, dump, Bruce Bowen and 5 others like this.
  36. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersPhoenix SunsPittsburgh PenguinsTiger WoodsNational LeagueBarAndGrillCoors Light

    Unless you’re a dad, get out
     
  37. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersPhoenix SunsPittsburgh PenguinsTiger WoodsNational LeagueBarAndGrillCoors Light

    Amirite boys??
     
    BayouMafia likes this.
  38. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
    Donor
    West Virginia MountaineersPhoenix SunsPittsburgh PenguinsTiger WoodsNational LeagueBarAndGrillCoors Light

    U rite lol
     
    dump, shawnoc and Fudd like this.
  39. -Asshole-

    -Asshole- TMB OG Reject
    Donor
    LSU TigersNew Orleans Saints

    I hope leaving his punk ass at school and letting him walk home was an option.
     
  40. Fudd VanVleet

    Fudd VanVleet I'm the meat chef
    Donor
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsAuburn TigersNew York YankeesPhiladelphia 76'ersArizona State Sun DevilsBig Ten Conference

    we have fun here
     
  41. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    Truman I was tagged here thanks to Dad Platinum®. I think I speak for all Dads when I say that tough love is important for one’s personal growth.
     
    dump and Celemo like this.
  42. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    Absolutely. Welcome to Dad Platinum®
     
    Heesu likes this.
  43. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
    Staff Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksLos Angeles ClippersNew Orleans SaintsTiger WoodsBarAndGrill

    My 6 year old son spent $404 on in-app purchases on two games called Robot Wars and Kick The Buddy yesterday. We have no idea how he knew my wife's iTunes password.
     
    TwoPoor, bigred77, Wu and 6 others like this.
  44. buy_dont_lease

    buy_dont_lease Ha ha ha. What a story, Mark.
    Donor
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsTexas AandM Aggies altNew York YankeesDallas CowboysTottenham HotspurDallas Mavericks alt

    I have a question: I think of devine as a de facto moderator, which makes him a father figure to us all, if you really think about it. Is he allowed to post here on that basis?
     
  45. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    The fact that devine liked this post means that he was tagged as a Dadpert™️
     
    buy_dont_lease and Capstone 88 like this.
  46. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
    Donor

    :ded:
     
    Drew63, jhooked, Stagger Lee and 4 others like this.
  47. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! UCF has a clown car of talent at RB and WR.
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville Jaguars

    Yep.
     
  48. blind dog

    blind dog Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsGreen Bay PackersTiger Woods2pacBarAndGrillWu-tangCoors Light

    I would take offense to the medium well picture but I can't pick a favorite song
     
    Fusiontegra likes this.
  49. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
    TMB OG

    She shouldn’t have made it just bertwing jr’s name