Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Here's a tough one. I invoked some of my best friends, my mentors at work, sister, etc. Why not invoke trusted brethren of an internet message board of matters pertaining to college football and assorted whimsy?

    Daughter, our first, is now 3 months. Mom's maternity leave ends after next week, we've got her lined up for daycare at this kick ass Spanish immersion daycare, infant-pre-K. We're paying for five days per week (there's no difference b/w 4-5 days, only price decrease is when you go to 3/5).

    Anyway, that's not the issue. My folks have really had their hearts set on taking care of her one day per week. They have to drive 60-90min into Minneapolis to do this. Problem is, my mom's fairly newly diagnosed with pretty goddamn early onset Alzheimer's (dx'd at about age 60). My dad's fine, but doesn't really know fuck all about caring for an infant.

    My mom has a lot of visio-spatial issues at this point in her disease. Hand-eye shit is really problematic. Watched her try to put Charlotte into her little swing and fuck if she didn't almost undershoot by 6 in and drop her straight onto the floor. Memory is also a concern. Keeps asking me the same questions I answered 5 min ago. Will she forget she just fed her? Will she put her in the tub and step away forgetting she's there? Unfortunately, I'm a GP physician, and know waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I wish I knew about the natural history of Alzheimers and therefor know that someone with Alzheimers can do what they can do until precisely the time they can't, and that's when accidents happen.

    Also,rather unfortunately, I spent a lot of my training in the pediatric ICU, dealing with too many infant deaths related to preventable accidents. Also, for a time, thought it'd be cool to be a medical examiner, so poured a hefty amount of training time into forensic pathology, and did too many autopsies on babies from the same circumstances. Can't get these dead kids out of my mind.

    I have literally zero anxiety about our friends, my colleagues, wife's friends and family absconding with our daughter for indefinite periods of time. I think I'd be pretty cool with a complete stranger doing it too tbqh. I just can't think about my parents taking care of her and not shake the idea that, on a long enough timeline, something terrible could happen.

    And now I gotta find a way to have this conversation with my folks about it, which will be pretty devastating to them.

    Am I fucking paranoid? People got any relatable circumstances/experiences?

    TIA GBR NFM RonBurgundy you got any moranic hot takes?
     
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  2. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    I'd venture to guess that you're the most qualified person to answer this based on your professional experience, but if it were me, that would be a hard no on letting that happen until the kid was old enough to give some audible feedback. I can see how that would be a terrible conversation to have. You probably can't even lie and say the daycare requires the full week, because I'd imagine that would rule out weekend babysitting as well.
     
    #7502 ned's head, Mar 25, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2019
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  3. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Not paranoid, sounds like you have a hard conversation coming up
     
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  4. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Sounds to me like you are being a bit of a helicopter parent
    I cant imagine your dad ever raised you
     
  5. thanks man, it just feels good to be heard
     
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  6. [​IMG]
     
  7. yeah I'm gonna shoot it straight. #TheNebraskaWay
     
  8. RonBurgundy

    RonBurgundy Well-Known Member

    Similar situation in my family.
    I thankfully have my father with Alzheimer’s and not my mother, and she is much more diligent caretaker.

    If you can’t rely on dad to be present and primary caretaker, then you blame the disease and let them do more grandparenting when the kid is 2 or so. My youngest is almost 3 now, and I don’t worry as much anymore if my early demented father is watching her especially since the older kids are around as well. Younger than that is harder though.

    Blame the disease not the diseased.
     
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  9. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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    The HOA fees have to be through the roof for this community?
     
  10. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    Actually no. Like $230 a month for HOA and CDD for a medium sized lot. Bigger lot, bigger fees. They really build the cost into the house. A similar house there is about $75k-$100k more than one just 5-10 miles away. Nocatee is a little community all to itself. You definitely get less house but you get all of the amenities so you have to make a choice.

    Each of these areas on the map have 4-6 neighborhoods in them. Downtown Jax to the north, Atlatic ocean to the right. It's tucked between I-95 and the beach. It's extended further south now bc there's a new area further down from Coastal Oaks now.

    [​IMG]
     
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  11. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    Here's a better look at the "Nocatee lifestyle" they sell. They have events damn near every weekend. It's a cool planned community built 100% around families with kids.

     
  12. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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    That's a really cool concept. I'd be all over that if I lived in your area, that's perfect for families with young kids.
     
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  13. Mr. F

    Mr. F Watch out for the poppins
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    My sister and her family live in Coastal Oaks, can confirm the whole development is very nice, would 100% move there if I was in Jax. Awesome place to take the family and go visit because with everything at the town center there is little reason to drive more than 2 minutes on a golf cart to do anything, besides going to the beach. The water parks are very nice, definitely on the "Disney level" (and have surprisingly reasonable beer prices)
     
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  14. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    When we looked at houses about 4 years ago, we laughed at how overpriced it was. We were like it's a nice area, but lol at those prices. Fast forward to now and we have an 18 month old and we're thinking schools and things to do with a kid and we're like jeez this is a bargain. Funny how kids change your outlook on things.
     
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  15. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    We were just in Coastal Oaks last weekend. We hadn't looked there bc we thought they'd finished building but we were surprised they still have about 100 lots. We've been looking at Crosswater that's another mile or so down from Coastal Oaks. idk how they do it but every area has it's own "feel" if that makes sense.

    I expect these type developments to become common. The golf course is just an outdated concept for people with kids. These type amenities are much more practical for a family with kids.
     
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  16. audrew

    audrew Maste’sr of Education
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    So many discarded dust jackets still haunting my home

     
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  17. tigr2ndbase

    tigr2ndbase Well-Known Member
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    I had to deal with a similar situation with my dad going through Alzheimer’s. We actually had them living with us and still would take the kids to daycare. We just told them it’s a safety issue. Even though mom was capable of watching the kids she had another kid in my dad to watch after. We didn’t want to take any chances with her getting distracted by him or him actually doing something.
     
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  18. R2d2

    R2d2 I been told a big-legged woman ain't got no soul
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    wrong thread
     
    #7518 R2d2, Mar 25, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2019
  19. Bankz

    Bankz I'm a sick guy
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    I wish they would do something like this in my area. I would 100% be living in this community if one was near.
     
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  20. ohbluefan

    ohbluefan Cause I'm cooler than a polar bears toenails
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    My middle daughter (16) is having a rough go of it with her softball coach, dude is a douche and has always been a little extra douchey with my kids for some reason. Might stem from the fact I never cared for the guy when they played little league and never really sucked his ass like other parents. But anyway my daughter is a decent athlete, pretty fast, decent strength. Batted lead off on the JV team last year and hit just under .400. So far this year in JV she’s batting around .500 and has maybe 6 stolen bases. Ole douche bag won’t even give her an at bat at varsity level. Getting passed over by coaches kids, teachers kids, and parents who’ve bitched to get their kids playing time.

    Hopefully she listens to Dad and tries to run track next year, can’t imagine having to deal with dumb fuck another 2 years.
     
  21. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    Little guy is just shy of 5-months. Starting sleep training tonight and it is brutal.
     
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  22. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    Tomorrow is Gracie's first day at daycare and I cant deal. :tebow:
     
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  23. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    The worst are the days you drop them off and they start crying. Lil'Druce turns 1 on the 27th, had a rough cough/fever that started Friday, took him to the urgent care on Saturday and they told us it was the common cold and he'll be fine. Only got worse so yesterday we take him to his pediatrician and it turns out he has pneumonia and we spent the night in the hospital last night. Urgent cares are totally worthless.
     
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  24. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    Lil Bishop has been going since October. I'd say 2 out of 5 he get upset when I leave. It's heartbreaking, but seeing the joy on his face at pickup makes it all better.
     
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  25. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    That fucking sucks, did your pediatrician say it's possible it wasn't quite pneumonia when he was checked out on Saturday? It's legitimately scary to have to weigh going to the ER given how expensive of a bill you know you'll be hit with, in fact some insurance companies are actually not even covering ER visits if they deem your reason for visiting isn't an emergency.
     
  26. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    He said he was "furious" that the urgent care didnt send us to the hospital. If something happens again on a weekend we're just going to call the pediatrician's emergency line that we didn't even know existed until yesterday.
     
  27. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    How high was his Fever?

    Had to take Lil Bishop to the ER once. He had a cold, but then one morning woke up and was really struggling to breath. Turned out to be Croup. Scary situation.

    Don't trust Urgent Care for him. If it's so bad that he can't wait to see the Pediatrician I would take him to the ER.
     
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  28. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    Anyone deal with their kid getting recurring fevers? Our daughter got tubes around the beginning of March (I don't think it's related) and got sick with RSV again or something similar at the beginning of last week. She had a wheezing cough and slowly got better but kept dealing with a fever, no ear infections this entire time though. I thought she was getting better this weekend and then on Tuesday after we pick her up from daycare BAM 104F fever. We took her to a pediatric after-hours clinic and she's acting more or less fine since the fever comes down very quickly with some motrin and they just said to monitor her since she didn't appear to have any bacterial infection and didn't appear to have a sore throat, she might be possibly dealing with a new virus. Yesterday she continued to have a fever, not quite as high, and acted fairly normal except not wanting to eat much. Today she still had a mild fever, around 101F, but we still had to keep her home from daycare and she was even better, ate more and definitely had more energy. I gave her some motrin in the morning and she didn't have a fever when I last checked around lunch. Once my wife got back from work I went out to work and she texts me that she has a 102.4F fever before bedtime and that we need to try and get her pediatrician to see her again, hopefully they can do some blood work or give some sort of diagnosis.

    I was reading about periodic fever syndrome on the Mayo Clinic's website and it sounds fairly similar except that this has only been going on since the beginning of last week, however that is not something that can be easily diagnosed by a blood test and it's likely a catch-all kind of condition if nothing else is obvious. I'm really hoping she at least doesn't have mono.
     
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  29. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    I would ask about teething but that is typically more around 100 degrees. I'm assuming her ears were fine. I mention it just because you can definitely see it at 102 with that. The tubes obviously help but our son still got a few ear infections with tubes when they would get clogged up with ear wax. Good luck.
     
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  30. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    Definitely not teething at this point, she's almost two. And yes, no ear infections at least.
     
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  31. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Our daughter had an ear infection two weeks ago and even after getting medicine her temp hovered around 102 for 2-3 days after (she was also teething) and was generally miserable. As I recall the nurse told us to come back in if the temp remained over 100 for 3 days. She also mentioned its typical for the temp to be the highest in the mid-to-late afternoon.
     
  32. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    Enjoyed this takedown of paw patrol. Had been telling my wife that the funding model seemed to be a gross misappropriation of tax payer funding and the militarization of the municipal services was problematic.
     
  33. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    FYI: if any of you have a Rock N Play quit using that shit immediately. They just recalled it entirely because of infant deaths.
     
  34. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    Wow. Sitting here watching my 7 week old in one. Thanks for heads up. I’m surprised my wife hasn’t air dropped down the chimney to get her out of it yet.
     
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  35. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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  36. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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  37. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    My son slept in his rock n play for the first 2 months of his life as he wouldn’t sleep in the bassinet.
     
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  38. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    According to my wife the danger starts when they can roll over. Idk I didn’t look much into it as we never owned one
     
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  39. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
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    Yes. It's when they can roll over and the parents don't use the straps to prevent the rolling over from happening.
     
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  40. jonbenetramsey

    jonbenetramsey Well-Known Member
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    My son was in one for the first 5 months of his life. He was always strapped in though.
     
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  41. kezarmyaj

    kezarmyaj super great
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    ours was the same. hated the bassinet.
     
  42. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    My daughter hated it. My son used it a lot but was always strapped in.

    It seems like user error more than defect but that is too much downside.
     
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  43. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    Never seen one before. Wife went to a baby shower today where the mother to be was gifted 2.
     
  44. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    just checking in to say the 4 month sleep regression can EAT A DICK
     
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  45. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    Any of you guys had to deal with a wife who was planning to possibly not go back to work after leave? How did you handle when she told her company? I really don't know if this is something you do early or do later because of whatever pay she would get she would forfeit I guess. But it seems like a dishonest move to not tell them until after she goes on leave.

    Not sure our situation yet but thinking about it and I have no idea how to approach it.
     
    #7545 Sub-Zero, Apr 15, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019
  46. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! UCF has a clown car of talent at RB and WR.
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    It’s a scummy move to take full leave and then tell them you aren’t coming back. That said, you’ve gotta do it because you have to look out for your own personal situation. By telling them early, you forfeit short term disability and other benefits, so potentially burning a bridge is the lesser of two evils.
     
  47. Bishop

    Bishop Future Member
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    I think it depends on her relationship with the company. I've seen Mothers come back from leave tell the company "I'm putting in my notice" and them say just pack up and go.

    If she likes her job and wants to leave on good terms I'd say tell them so they can work on getting a good replacement.
     
  48. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    A good friend of my wife’s/former co-worker took her full leave and then went back to her old job at the end of it. There was annoyance within the company initially but a few years later all seems to have been forgotten and there is a business/consulting relationship. I don’t feel like you should feel guilty about taking a benefit offered. In Europe they can’t even ask you when (or if) you plan to come return from leave.
     
  49. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Kid stuck a rock in his ear. Family dr couldn’t get it out. Going to the ENT tomorrow. Yay!!
     
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  50. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Ughhh that sucks