Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Degausser

    Degausser #NewProfilePic
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta Braves

    Right. I didn't mean they were showing hole. Maybe it was a thing where I was too, and I was just too naive to know it.
     
  2. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
    TMB OG
    Clemson TigersCarolina Panthers

    I died a little inside reading that second paragraph.
     
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  3. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Raising kids today is so different than how we grew up. Social media is a total monster. All the information at kids hands that is makes parenting so hard. Not to mention that cameras and video cameras are everywhere.

    my only recommendation is to try and create an open discussion with your kids where they can come with no judgement. It can be super hard at times and I fail at times but it’s so important.
     
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  4. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDetroit LionsDetroit PistonsDetroit Red Wings

  5. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsCleveland BrownsUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    I laughed… and I can feel the kink in my neck from the last time I was on one of those.
     
  6. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
    Donor

    12 nights on that bad boy back in September was brutal
     
  7. JC

    JC I yell sometimes when I watch sports
    Donor
    Real MadridMinnesota VikingsMinnesota WildMinnesota TimberwolvesTiger WoodsOhio State Buckeyes

    That looks infinitely more comfortable and inviting than what I had. I used a chair that extended out into a small bed. It was like a cement slab.
     
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  8. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsCleveland BrownsUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    I had a chair like you describe for my second kid, first kid was the pull out sofa like the picture. Both equally sucked. In my case the chair was at least level
     
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  9. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I’m solo dad today.

    I was trying to feed a bottle to kid3 when kid2 came walking in with her pants at her ankles and a turd hanging out of her butt cheeks. Kid1 is yelling “no don’t” as kid2 tries to pull it out. This happens at 8:20am.

    Kid3 won’t stop crying.

    I may die today
     
  10. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Sounds to me like kid1 has kid2 covered pretty well. I'm a grown man with 2 of my own and that would also be my reaction
     
  11. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    We lived 5 minutes from the hospital. My wife sent me home to sleep.
     
  12. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    We were shown this big beautiful suite when we toured the birthing hospital (whatever they are called) and was told that was where we would be. Fast-forward to day Levi was born and preeclampsia, emergency c-section, and a stay in the NICU which is also where they place people where the mom has issues during birthing.

    The room was smaller than a standard hospital room and my bed was a “recliner,” it was a fucking chair, that folded semi flat with barely enough space to “flatten” it in. Every 2 hours I would have to wake up and put the chair into the upright position when the nurse came in or she would not have room to work.

    Add to that it was during start of Covid so if I left I could not re-enter for 72 hours if I left and no visitors were allowed other than me. I just had to suck it up and take it and boy did it suck.
     
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  13. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Hey google, does mario have a gallbladder?
     
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  14. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
    Donor
    Tennessee VolunteersAtlanta BravesNashville PredatorsGrateful DeadBonnaroo

    Hey mom, remember that time we saw fireworks?
     
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  15. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    My guess is this is what I had, my sister's kid likely gave it to her and she gave it to me and my brother before she was symptomatic when I was visiting last week. I didn't throw up much but had the worst diarrhea of my life. Somehow I avoided giving it to my wife and my daughter. Sounds like it's going around everywhere all over the freaking country right now.
     
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  16. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Same here. It was almost exactly like I was doing a colonoscopy prep.
     
  17. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
    Donor

    It went through our daycare a couple of weeks ago and I got it bad. I'm serious when I say I think I set a record for most shits in 36 hours. I slept downstairs 2 night in a row and ended up putting a few towels down to sleep on in the guest bathroom. My first daycare sickness and it was devastating
     
  18. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    I had to just fight the constant urge, it honestly sounded like a water hose was being turned on every time I took a liquid shit. I couldn't get in with my normal doctor so I went to an urgent care. They said if I wasn't better after the night (which would have been 3 days) then I needed to get an IV.
     
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  19. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Pedialyte and preparation H wipes sustained me for 2 days
     
  20. PaulKemp

    PaulKemp Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Glad you document the journey to an extent here. Years away but feel like I’ll be searching Simon Templar posts like they’re a video game strategy guide before too long
     
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  21. PaulKemp

    PaulKemp Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Not too worried today though. We were out wine tasting today and my guy was running around hugging and naming the various 150 year old olive trees on the property. Feel like that will pay off karmically for him down the line when he starts doing mushrooms
     
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  22. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Your kid is the one who says “fuckin” all the time right
     
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  23. PaulKemp

    PaulKemp Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    He can full on roast you now
     
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  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Hell yeh dudes rock
     
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  25. gritzy

    gritzy I am a hurricane on the golf course

    one week out and still feeling it, did bring my own pillow this time which helped
     
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  26. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Took my 3.5 year old to Jurassic Park Live last night. He was very entertained
     
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  27. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    She thinks bill nye is boring :bird::crossedarms::tebow:

    sticking with science max.
     
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  28. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
    Donor TMB OG

    About 36 hours in and we will likely have to replace the couch (and maybe carpet). Nobody else has gotten sick yet, but my kid has puked and pooped all over the place. He shit himself in his sleep, the puppy pads caught most of it, but some seeped out onto the couch.
     
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  29. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    You put your sick child on the couch on puppy pads?
     
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  30. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I guess yes. My wife makes him a bed on the couch and the bottom layer is puppy pads.

    It’s the same as in a hospital. The pads are just called chucks there.
     
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  31. PaulKemp

    PaulKemp Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Start with educational videos. Walk away for a few minutes and YouTube’s deranged algorithm has started auto playing poorly animated videos of Thomas the Train with spider legs instead of wheels and blood gushing out his mouth from a fresh kill
     
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  32. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    If you get a queen sized mattress pee liner you can wrap it under the bottom cushions and the back cushions and nothing hits the couch.
     
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  33. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsCleveland BrownsUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    I’ve been reading this thread and taking note of the norovirus cases mentioned. This morning I woke up to an article stating that it’s hitting NJ, NY and PA hard.

    Here it comes…. Going to go straight from a week of no school (winter break) , to having no school because everyone is shitting their pants

    #bartscott
     
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  34. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Pro move IMO.
     
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  35. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsCleveland BrownsUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    I brought one of our booster car seats in the house a few days ago. the kids are using it non stop to lounge, move it around, build forts with it, eat and stare outside, etc.

    makes me think of these chairs my brother and I had when we were younger. our butts didn't move from these chairs while playing video games. I can also remember that feeling of when someone else rocks on your finger or toe.

    [​IMG]
     
  36. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    Just got home from taking my son and 7 of his friends, all of which are 1st graders, to a trampoline park. Whoo boy was that an experience.
     
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  37. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDetroit LionsDetroit PistonsDetroit Red Wings

    I had Chipotle for lunch today and for whatever reason it rain straight thru me causing me to have two very long shitting sessions pretty close to back to back. My 5 year old daughter took note of how much I was shitting and at some point during the second one said, "Daddy your butt is gonna be real tiny after all of this pooping". So apparently she thinks we store our shit in our ass cheeks.
     
  38. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
    Florida State SeminolesBoston Red SoxOrlando MagicNew England PatriotsBoston Bruins

    We don’t?
     
  39. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Somewhat related. I've never been self conscious about my own dump sizes, but I can't get over the size of the logs that exit my 5 year old. Am I an inadequate pooper?
     
  40. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
    TMB OG
    Clemson TigersCarolina Panthers

    While talking to my wife on the phone earlier, I heard her yell at one of our boys after they got out of the bath, “Ew, he literally just had that in his hiney, and you just put it in your mouth!”

    So that’s cool. At least they were fresh out of the bath, I guess.
     
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  41. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    How do you discipline a 3.5 year old? Serious. I'm at wits ends. He just bullys me. Laughs when I tell him to do something. Laughs when I'm getting serious and frustrated.

    Then says he'll do it and acts like a sarcastic asshole and does it in excruciating slow motion thinking he's funny.

    He has absolutely zero fear of me and I don't know how to instill it.

    Tonight the last straw today was he wouldn't brush his teeth. So I held hom down, brushed his teeth, all while him crying, then put him in bed without any stories. Feel like a huge asshole and now going to sleep all pissed off.
     
  42. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Pee is stored in the balls

    poop is stored in the cheeks
     
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  43. dump

    dump Dancing at the Pink Pony Club
    Donor
    Connecticut HuskiesTexas AandM Aggies altTexas RangersDallas StarsDallas Mavericks alt

    At least you don’t need a paternity test
     
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  44. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    Follow up to this, there was this other kid, no clue who he was that was using the foam blocks to build a wall along the edge of the foam block bit. My group of kids were horsing around and knocked over the wall accidentally. Didn't think anything of it. Bob the builder went and found his mom who then came up and started yelling at my sons friend for knocking over his wall. I walked over to figure out wtf was going on. She started lighting me up about how this kid was bullying her son by knocking over the wall. (Not sure why she only locked on to his one friend). I told her I apologize about the wall, but to call that bullying is diminishing the actual bullying problem. It was an accident nothing more. She didn't like that response.

    She started bitching to me about how I needed to show her some respect. I just laughed at her and it pissed her off even more. She started in on me again so I just shrugged my shoulders and asked her what she was looking for from me. She didn't say anything so I just turned around, told the kids to move to another area and walked away.
     
  45. Pharm

    Pharm I’m a vacuum
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    Started the transition of 5 month old to his rooms a crib and sleep training. Went on night one but had a blow out at 1 am and an “early mornjng awkening” he is still currently fighting. It was nice to have my and and I room back though even though though I’m running on like 3 hours of sleep right now
     
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  46. Pharm

    Pharm I’m a vacuum
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    I know it’s recommended to share until 6 months but wife and I were having some dangerous sleep habits during the middle of the night and we tried sleep training some but it didn’t work when we shared a room. He can roll over both ways so we made the decision to go ahead to make the transition
     
  47. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    I know recommendations are based on best practices over time, but if you even compare what was a recommended practice 17 years ago and how we did it to todays we’d be considered even worse parents than we are. My son slept in his own room from two weeks old. Don’t feel like you need to check all the boxes to feel like you’re doing the right thing.

    I think that’s one thing I’ve struggled with the most throughout parenthood. Looking at the way others do it or did it and trying to measure up against that. Your situation is your own and entirely unique. Do your best and it all works out is what I’ve found to be the best way to do things.

    Glad you’re getting some expected rest coming up.
     
  48. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski do what now?
    Donor

    Our 4 year olds go back and forth acting like this but currently our son has been like a model kid, letting his sister take turns with things, listening when we ask him to do stuff, etc. so maybe there is hope or maybe I just fucked myself by putting this in writing
     
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  49. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    mine are 6.5, 5, 5, and this has yet to go away.
     
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  50. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    We don't do time out and obviously don't spank, but the best way we have disciplined is taking privileges away. No "special treat" after dinner because of poor behavior at the table. No special book or story before bed because you wouldn't brush your teeth when asked. No screentime after school because you were bad in the car. It has to be quick consequences as their little brains aren't developed enough to learn about long term consequences.

    Yelling or visible frustration doesn't work at their age (or really ever).

    FWIW i think you handled the toothbrush thing fine. calm request, calm request, stern request, use force to get what you need done without harming the child.

    I think kids become much more fun around age 4 so the light is at the end of the tunnel.
     
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