Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay BuccaneersTampa Bay Lightning

    Daughter turned 12 yesterday. Took her and her friends to one of those indoor skydiving place. I'm so sore.
     
  2. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    That fuggin hoss is bigger than the bounce house
     
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  3. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    That extra bedroom in the airbnb isn't just for the kid, it's also a way to escape
     
  4. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    Kids games on tablets are legit the fuck worst. My God the ads are excessive and horrible. Half of them don't work and get hung. Is there a trick to these?
     
    Baron, AbeFroman, Han Solo and 4 others like this.
  5. buckwild

    buckwild #BucketsGetsBuckets
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDetroit LionsDetroit PistonsDetroit Red Wings

    Took my kids to the trampoline park closest to us this morning. On Sundays from 900-1100, they offer "Toddler Time" which is kids 5 and under for a very discounted rate. The place is huge and there normally less than 15 toddlers in the whole place. My daughter is 6 and my son turns 4 in two days. He outweighs her by 6 lbs. It hasn't been a problem in the past to allow her in with him, but today it was a hard no. I get rules are rules...so, I didn't Karen on the teenagers behind the counter. But, there were like 5 kids in the entire place and the lack of common sense definitely triggered the shit out of me as we left.
     
    AbeFroman and dump bueckers like this.
  6. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideIndianapolis ColtsBook Club

    You should have lied
     
  7. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    Probably can’t because waivers
     
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  8. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    It's hell. Most I've found don't even have the option of a paid premium ad-free version. Best advice is to subscribe to the Apple Arcade and only get games from them.
     
  9. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    I figured out a solution to the tablet problem. Just have your kid hulk smash it in anger and break the screen so they can't use it any more. Problem solved!

    (this is what my youngest did to his brother's tablet last night... now they lost all electronics for at least a week!)
     
  10. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    Lucky you tho b/c you're buying a new one next week
     
  11. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Lil man’s gf rear ended him tonight following him. I got a hysterical call with crying and all that from her apparently immediately after because her airbags went off and she was scared. Even before he called me.

    Gotta admit I was not prepared to be her first call but here we are.
     
  12. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    My son is playing his first year of 8U kid pitch. I've never been a coach before and I never played but between my 3 younger brothers, I've been to hundreds of games, LL through college ball. After a couple of games I somehow found myself helping as our 2 main coaches really don't gaf. We were 0-5 going in to the night. Let me tell you, we got our first win tonight and my boy got the game winning rbi. I couldn't be more proud of this team as they have improved a ton since the first game. Super proud of my boy as he's got all of the physical tools but struggles to put it all together sometimes. Super pumped tonight!
     
  13. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    There are a lot of aspects of kids sports I want to experience, but fuck being selfish there s a ton from that culture of youth sports that I want absolutely none of
     
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  14. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsCleveland BrownsUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    My oldest just had one of the crappiest experiences with his favorite sport this past spring season and he’s saying he wants to take a break because of it. We are going to support that decision, but man, it’s pathetic how much an 8 year olds experience can be shaped by a clique of 40 year old adults. im proud of him for recognizing the toxicity and asking for a break from it on his own.
     
  15. AbeFroman

    AbeFroman You touch me, I yell RAT!

    I would have strangled my best friend to get a birthday setup like this. Well done.
     
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  16. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    Got a whole thread for that

    https://www.the-mainboard.com/index...l-parents-reliving-their-youth.183386/page-37AHole Parents of Kids Sports: Awful Parents Reliving Their Youth | Page 37 | TMB
     
  17. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    Let me also be clear on this. This isn't some traveling comp team. This is a rec league where kids are still learning. We have kids that still sit in the oufield and play with grass. My #1 goal is for everyone to have fun and everyone gets a chance to play wherever they want.
     
  18. cdaysker

    cdaysker Quarry
    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska Cornhuskers alt

    We had pretty similar experiences last night. I'm helping coach my son's 9U kid pitch team and it's been a tough season - have only won 2 games out of 10 going into last night, and we were playing a top 3 team in the league. They had multiple kids with the stupid Hype Fire bats and their coach was A LOT. But anyway, we go down 7-2 after 2 innings and then all of a sudden it's like a light switched on for the entire team. They were doing the things we had been trying to teach them the past couple months and it all came together at once. We were throwing strikes, we threw a couple kids out stealing, made tough catches in the outfield, knew where to go with the ball when it was hit to them, etc. We ended up tied 7-7 after 6 innings and they called the game due to time limit, so it was a bummer to tie but honestly that was the best tie I've ever been a part of. Was really proud of the kids and it was fun as hell to see all their hard work come together.
     
  19. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    That's awesome!

    It was really great to see the excitement on their faces in the dugout after we won. Stark contrast to the dejection it's been after all of our losses. We have 2 games left and then the league tourney in 2 weeks. I'm not sure we'll win another game but I"m really going to stress to the kids to just have fun.
     
    cdaysker likes this.
  20. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Cincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsTennisTiger WoodsFC Cincinnati

    3yo is almost potty trained (it has been a fucking struggle) #blessed
     
  21. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Thank you, they had a blast. 19 kids 10 and under, it was pure chaos. As soon as each kid looked out the patio door when they arrived they freaked out. Levi had a blast.

    IMG_8818.jpeg

    IMG_8840.jpeg

    IMG_8841.jpeg
     
    One Two, Clemson327, Rabid and 21 others like this.
  22. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Awesome as hell and I'm getting PTSD from how much cleanup was involved after everyone went home.
     
    One Two, Snakes, VASooner and 4 others like this.
  23. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    There may or may not still be some coolers that need emptied. It was exhausting.
     
  24. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue Mammoth Stabber
    Donor

  25. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Just bought some candy bar the size of a keyboard and a giant lollipop the size of a softball from the airport. Time to blow these kids’ minds
     
  26. gritzy

    gritzy I am a hurricane on the golf course

    thats going to shoot thru them like a laser beam
     
    One Two likes this.
  27. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue Mammoth Stabber
    Donor

    He's used to it. He won't tell you this but his middle name is Poop.
     
    One Two and gritzy like this.
  28. scissors

    scissors My goodness, who doesn't just love a fat beaver?
    Donor TMB OG
    Colorado BuffaloesAtlanta Falcons

  29. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

  30. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    One Two and Wes Tegg are gonna end up in jail soon for assaulting a toddler.
     
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  31. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure It’s cake!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsHouston RocketsDallas CowboysSneakers

    My godson jumped into a river today and there was a log underwater and he landed on an underwater branch and tore his nutsack. Tore the skin off it. He’s doing well and has surgery this evening with urologist. He’s 7. I’m absolutely devastated.
     
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  32. steamengine

    steamengine What decision? You got into Duke.
    Donor
    Duke Blue DevilsLSU TigersLos Angeles DodgersGolden State WarriorsLos Angeles LakersDallas CowboysManchester CityLiverpoolBig Ten Conference

    As someone who wrecked their ankle and ruined what could’ve been a legendary baseball career by jumping in a river and hitting something just below surface, this one hits home.
     
  33. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure It’s cake!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsHouston RocketsDallas CowboysSneakers

    I’m so upset and I can’t imagine what they’re feeling and going through. We were supposed to go up there on Friday and it’s their other kid’s birthday weekend and people were coming in. I told them anything we can do to help we are there but I feel so bad for them right now. When I say it’s my godson I’m talking about as he’s my own. That’s how close we are and how we are with each other’s kids.
     
  34. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersTiger WoodsInter Miami CFGame of ThronesMiami Heat

    way behind on this thread, but shit that sucks. sending good vibes that the wife comes around sooner rather than later
     
  35. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersTiger WoodsInter Miami CFGame of ThronesMiami Heat

    If any thread can appreciate this, this one can.

    My grandfather passed away about 2 weeks ago. the 4 year old is extremely observant so we knew we had to tell him so next time we went to their house he wouldn't run around looking for his great grandfather and then have the crashing realization in front of my grandmother.

    So we told him that g-grandpa was called to heaven to be an angel so thats where he is.

    Fast forward to the next day at school, he told all his friends that his g-grandpa went to Kevin's house.

    Fast forward to the first visit to my grandmother's house and he immediately goes to g-grandpa's chair and says, "XXX isn't here" Then he turns to g-grandma and asks if he is still at kevin's house. First audible laugh in that house since he passed.

    Kids have a way of making bleak moments better.
     
    #21287 CF3234, Jul 3, 2025
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2025
  36. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    life is a pendulum, we better. there's things we can both improve on. ty.
     
  37. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersTiger WoodsInter Miami CFGame of ThronesMiami Heat

    always is. I try to remind myself that when the wife throws a grenade at me without realizing it. I throw just as many at her feet.
     
  38. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Finished It Takes Two with my son, awesome game. Kind of weird playing as a married couple but game was a 10/10. He couldn't have cared less for the cutscenes/storlyine but loved the gameplay.

    Bought Backyard Baseball the other day on Switch and holy nostalgia. I got a weird chill when it booted up. Played the shit out of that game on PC and Gameboy Advance growing up. More and more he feels like an exact clone of me. It rules.
     
  39. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    kevin is persona non grata in our house.

    shortened story (but still not short):
    my wife and i went on a vacation two weeks ago and my MIL watched our kids for four days. as part of the planning process, my wife and MIL discussed what activities they'd be doing (and not doing), who was going to be around to help, etc. It is harvest season so my MIL was explicitly told to keep the kids away from the combine (or similar farming equipment) and MIL said she'd already requested the help from a high school aged cousin who lives down the road.

    we called them on the third day and my MIL says that my oldest (6) got to take a lap around the field in the combine, and one of my kids said that mr kevin was there (kevin is my MIL's kinda boyfriend and was never discussed as someone who would be around or allowed). MIL says that kevin helped out that day, and also watched them while they were napping and she had to do a 10-15 min errand down the road. we also found out later from the kids that our middle child (3) rode in the combine, which i confirmed with my brother-in-law. we asked "hey what happened to <cousin> helping?" and MIL says "<cousin> is busy and never came by to help." we ask the cousin and she says MIL never called to let her know when she needed help.

    when we got back in town and went to pick up our dog from MIL, we asked her "hey we had a plan why was it blatantly ignored, you ignored explicit instructions, we don't know kevin, etc" and MIL turns it into a big situation where she's being accused of felony child endangerment, says "i won't beg people for help, i'm glad kevin came by because you don't know how tiring it is to watch 3 kids." She's a professional victim.

    a day or two after getting back, my oldest says that mr kevin was watching a show about people shooting and killing each other and she was worried people were gonna come kill us. I asked MIL about what my daughter said. she's extremely indignant, says she and Kevin dont know what my kid is talking about. MIL suggests daughter is being manipulative to stay up later at bed time, or is picking up on anxiety from me/my wife. i asked if she was watching (fox) news at all and she says yes they had it on (when we bombed Iran). Huh, maybe that was it...

    currently gearing up for battle of wills between myself and my MIL because i'm not just sweeping it under the rug -- like everyone else does in that family -- and there will be consequences for no apology and contrition.
     
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  40. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersTiger WoodsInter Miami CFGame of ThronesMiami Heat

    Well if you send Kevin to My kid's kevin's you won't have to deal with him anymore.

    Also, TIL that you are a farmer. What you got growing?
     
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  41. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    You have a combine?
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  42. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I am not a farmer. My wife's family farms (but also have other full time jobs). I dont know what they were harvesting this time (looking at crop planting guidelines, probably corn) but they'll grow wheat, soy, barley, sorghum, corn, etc depending on the season. .
     
  43. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Combines kick ass
     
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  44. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    Also dangerous as fuck. Know a few old timers missing limbs due to combine accidents.
     
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  45. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Genuinely good on you for actually holding a bunch of stubborn snowflake boomers' feet to the fire on boundaries. If they agreed up front and reneged then they deserve to have a moment of being uncomfortable for the first time in probably years.
     
    buckwild and Name P. Redacted like this.
  46. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Well obviously they shouldn't let the kid try and work on the equipment
     
  47. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    GOP fever dream to put the kids to work. It's a feature, not a bug
     
  48. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson Tide

    feel like it's up to your wife to police her side of the family.