Official Dads of TMB Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Boo MFer!, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    generally yes, but i'm also stepping in between my wife and a lifelong bully -- and because it also involves her behavior with my kids.
    my wife watched her brother barely avoid getting impaled by a tine when a hydraulic failed back when they were teenagers. she's also seen far too many sick, abused, maimed, or dead kids because of her job to feel comfortable unless she's present. Someone in my MIL’s rural town died last year in some kind of farming accident.
    "don't let them near the farming equipment"
    "oh we kept plenty of other generations alive"
    "i'm serious, don't"
    "ok" or silence or changes subject

    MIL was a veterinarian and ran her own clinic for years, so anytime someone pushes against her desires to do whatever the fuck she wants, she just blows her top.
     
    #21301 Name P. Redacted, Jul 3, 2025
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2025
  2. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta Braves

    Sorghum deez nutz
     
    Clemson327, a.tramp, bigred77 and 2 others like this.
  3. Kaden Ashby

    Kaden Ashby Well-Known Member

    Have any y’all had problems with the kiddos and fireworks? Currently trying to rock 22 month old to bed and she’s just staring at me as the loud booms shake my house. Should be a fun couple of nights.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  4. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    No, fortunately. Do you have a white noise source to try to cover the sound?
     
    Kaden Ashby likes this.
  5. tjosu

    tjosu This is kind of like the breakfast club, huh?
    Donor
    Oklahoma State CowboysHouston AstrosHouston TexansTiger Woods

    We crank the sound machine on high volume every night so he hasn’t been bothered tonight. Will likely turn it up a notch tomorrow
     
    Kaden Ashby likes this.
  6. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    I must have hit the jackpot kid wise. Neither one ever has been bothered by the psychos shooting off mortars in our neighborhood. Our dog is the same. Currently people are going nuts outside and she is dead to the world beside me.
     
    #21306 Wicked, Jul 3, 2025
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2025
    Kaden Ashby likes this.
  7. Kaden Ashby

    Kaden Ashby Well-Known Member

    Yes, have sound machine and box fan going but it’s not enough, it’s super loud around us. Finally got her to sleep but back rocking her as she just woke up crying. Poor thing.
     
  8. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksChicago CubsAvengersBarAndGrillSoutheastern Conference

    Luckily it's quiet this year as one neighbor had a major head trauma accident (bridge hitting head while duck hunting) so we are keeping it quiet this year which is a plus for me and the dog.
     
  9. Tommy Jefferson

    Tommy Jefferson Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersKansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City Chiefs

    Ugh lucky! I wish my neighbor that is obnoxiously shooting fireworks at every hour would have a traumatic brain injury
     
  10. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Hit his head on a bridge?

    :banderas:
     
  11. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    Just crushed a sick goal on my son (59m) from half way across the yard. But he wasn't ready so now he's crying.
     
  12. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Put it right in his gut next time
     
  13. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Your son is a 59 year old male?
     
  14. Kevintensity

    Kevintensity Poster/Posting Game Coordinator
    Donor
    Atlanta BravesCalgary FlamesPoker

    I can't believe you missed his father's day post this year

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    No
     
  16. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    He talk some shit. Really trying to thread the needle between building confidence and a touch of FAFO. You can handle dad heat
     
  17. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
    TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersKansas City RoyalsEvertonAvengersUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

  18. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    Poor thing probably had a stomachache that night.
     
  19. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Pop quiz hot shot

    you let your kids stay up late to watch fire works, do they sleep in the next morning?
     
    Where Eagles Dare, a.tramp and bwi2 like this.
  20. bwi2

    bwi2 Not affiliated with BWI
    Donor
    Duke Blue DevilsWashington NationalsArsenalUSA Basketball

    lol
     
  21. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Did some lame shower fireworks at home. Kids were in bed by 9:30. Slept till 8 :blessed:
     
  22. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    Left fireworks at 1030

    Son immediate complains we don't have water for him and he's sooooooooooo thrusty. We never bring him water.
    He fell asleep approximately 4 seconds after that.
    Slept in until 8am today.

    Was stunned. Felt like I won life
     
    bruce bowen, Clemson327 and bigred77 like this.
  23. Wicked

    Wicked Next One's Comin' Faster
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesChicago Blackhawks

    Took the fam to our local summer league college baseball team's game last night. Had fireworks after. They had food and drink specials, bounce houses, give aways, and fireworks after. Was a great time. There is something about a hot summer night with baseball and fireworks that hits me with the feels and nostalgia. Got home at about 11. Kids let me sleep in until almost 8. One of the best nights I've had in awhile.
     
  24. gritzy

    gritzy I am a hurricane on the golf course

    Made it till 6…….like every morning
     
  25. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Freshman orientation tomorrow. Truman where should we eat?

    is Shakespeare’s good?
     
    bigred77 and Truman like this.
  26. Truman

    Truman Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Missouri TigersSt. Louis CardinalsChicago BullsSt. Louis BluesEvertonBook Club

    Shakespeare's. Booches. Flat Branch.

    Shakespeare's is great.
     
    goheels10 and Simon Templar like this.
  27. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Shakespeares is in fact great
     
    goheels10 and Truman like this.
  28. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I wish shows like Netflix’s quarterback, hard knocks, etc. offered a bleeped out version for kids.
     
    Rabid and bigred77 like this.
  29. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    That would be a bad ass feature if you could just turn bleeps on or off like it was closed captions
     
    bruce bowen likes this.
  30. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    For real, I feel like an intern could do it for a show in a day. Don’t need to market it towards kids just make it an option like you said.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  31. phunkybuck

    phunkybuck Your pennies have been in my ass
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland GuardiansGrateful Dead

    My three year old has gotten obsessed with his dick lately and in the morning before he get his underwear on has taken to asking me to “come look at my big penis daddy”

    I’ve never been prouder
     
  32. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Just wait for that phone call from day care
     
  33. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Clemson TigersCarolina Panthers

    Bingo. My 6 year old was (and still is) obsessed with his penis. We got a phone call from his 4K teacher a little over a year ago that he was showing it to girls at recess. When confronted, he insisted that they were showing him their downstairs. I’m pretty concerned about what’s coming in 10 years.
     
    Rabid, a.tramp, gritzy and 4 others like this.
  34. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Oh buddy it’s closer than 10.
     
  35. phunkybuck

    phunkybuck Your pennies have been in my ass
    Donor TMB OG
    Ohio State BuckeyesCleveland BrownsColumbus Blue JacketsCleveland CavaliersCleveland GuardiansGrateful Dead

    My parents got a call from school when I was in kindergarten that I told the table look under the table and showed everyone my dong. So my kid is a legacy and I'm fully expecting a call sometime down the road and my wife won't be taking it as well as me lol.
     
    a.tramp, Clemson327, Sub-Zero and 6 others like this.
  36. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    This is so accurate. Doesn’t matter if it’s just me and one of them every single thing they say starts with “(hey) daddy”. Also I absolutely love this movie
     
    kezarmyaj and Name P. Redacted like this.
  37. scissors

    scissors My goodness, who doesn't just love a fat beaver?
    Donor TMB OG
    Colorado BuffaloesAtlanta Falcons

    All packed up and ready to go on the annual beach trip. Everyone gets in the car to leave, I start her up, and the tire light comes on.

    Nail in the front right tire. Great start.
     
  38. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt


    Better now than somewhere down the road where you dont know the nearest tire shop
    What beach?
     
    scissors likes this.
  39. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Watching bluey
    Mom asks bluey "what is the first thing dad always says" and the answer was "dont tell mom"

    I feel seen
     
    Clemson327, gritzy, goheels10 and 4 others like this.
  40. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure It’s cake!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsHouston RocketsDallas CowboysSneakers

    Babysitting 5 yr old son and his 5 yr old “gf”. It’s been a day while the moms are away