I always recommend going into the closest studio in your city (if there are multiple, just peruse some Google reviews) and telling the instructor/person behind the desk you're interested in starting yoga but have never done it before. There are always super good deals for first-timers to a studio--like $50/month for unlimited, 1 week for $20, etc. I would not recommend doing it on your own (youtube, etc.) the first time because you don't know what you're doing. You need an instructor that will help you learn the poses and can give you feedback.
Bought DDP Yoga dvd a few years ago. Pretty solid. Was in decent shape/ flexibility from martial arts
I need to start this. I do a HIIT workout 4/5 times a week but stretching is something I think I need to implement. Time is tough. I go at lunch to the gym but the rest of the time is work or family.
The beginning of the newest episode of Black Mirror (Striking Vipers) is a perfect encapsulation of this thread. Highly recommend y’all watch it.
32, no kids (except for my 4 legged daughter), and no marriage. I can’t imagine having kids any time soon because I’m still trying to live out the things I missed out on in my childhood but doing it now in an adult way. Maybe I’ll outgrow my selfishness at some point once I’ve done more of the things I want to do
Same. Though I have no doubt I will not outgrow it. Have zero interest in devoting like 20 years of my life supporting offspring.
This is how I feel at the moment and I don't really think it's selfishness at all. I'm happy for my friends who recently had kids. But I don't want that sort of thing in my immediate future.
Yeah I’m at the point where do I really wanna be in my 60s with a kid in high school/college? Nah I’ll pass.
I know I'll take heat for this but here goes. Not wanting to procreate bottles my mind. How can you not want to carry on your genes to the next generation. It's kind of an inborn biological drive that has persisted through billions of years of our ancestors' history
This is how I feel personally but I totally understand the other side. It’s a pretty fucking huge commitment to have kids.
It is, and I realize I'm not exactly taking steps towards it if that's my immediate goal. It may never happen but I do feel like I'll feel some sense of "failure" if I look back at the end of life and never reproduced
They’re a thing I have to care about and take care of. My wife wants kids but I could care less. I’ll gladly try to have them and if we can’t then I’d gladly adopt if she really wanted to but I’ve never seen the big deal about having kids.
I go back and forth a ton. I agree with you on basically this exact quote. But, I don't want to stop doing badass fun shit. My bucket list grows by the day, and also gets more expensive/difficult/more of a time commitment. Sure, you can do stuff with kids, but it's a whole different ballgame.
I want kids (one day) but only want to adopt. Felt that way for as long as I can remember...plenty of kids out there that need a family. I recognize that I have a completely different set of values and worldview than most but I could give less of a fuck if I shared genes with my kid(s). Honestly the last thing the world needs is another smartass Italian kid with OCD walking around
I love to read nonfiction and I've read dozens of books about Darwin, evolution, genetics, the history of life/the earth/the universe, etc so that may be why I'm preoccupied with that perspective. It feels "natural" but maybe that's just my paradigm from the stuff I read.
There are plenty of reasons to not want kids. Maybe you have shitty genes. Maybe you have a genetic disorder and you don’t want to risk passing that one. Maybe you’re a responsible person and realize you can’t afford kids. Maybe you just know you’ll be a shitty parent. None of these apply to me. I just don’t want kids now. I used to and my wife was pregnant (before she got sick and passed) and I was very excited about having a kid. As the years have gone by since, the desire just grows smaller and smaller.
Mickey recommended an antinatalism book to me 3 days after my son was born. Guy's very committed to the cause
I know what I said makes many woke types uncomfortable. I know better than to express the view in most conversations. Just wanted to say my secret inner thoughts
and to not just offload your entire point to a RIP poster the very nature of being able to understand why humans have that drive should allow you to be able to be cognizant to the negative as well can also argue sex is the biological drive vs actually procreating, you're socialized to want to procreate under "thats what we do" and a convoluted immortality component
In my situation I’m able to enjoy the kid aspect from my nephew and nieces and while they’re not “mine” I do view them like they are. I’m not against having kids, my issue is I love the freedom of traveling whenever I want to wherever I want and spending money on the things I want whenever I want. I can’t fathom that changing anytime soon which is what I meant by being selfish
33 here with a doggie, 6 week old baby girl, wife, and mortgage. Living the dream, apparently. Naw, it's good though. Had my fun in my mid 20's then settled down and got married at 29. Both my wife and I have stable jobs in healthcare and live in a small town right by Lake Michigan. It's definitely a boring life (except for the laser show I put on at Monday night softball) that I used to say "I never want to be like that...." and now that it's here, I'm content. Feels somewhat peaceful, all things considered. We live close to family and have a solid group of friends all with young children. Feels like it's a natural progression where things change and slow down, but there are so many new fun experiences and challenges being a father. Only downside is my student loan debt is crippling; currently pay more for that than my mortgage. Puts a damper on buying our next house (and subsequently potentially having another child) because I'm not exactly sure when it will end. I'm in a student loan forgiveness program (PSLF) and the details on that don't seem to be all that clear.
Don’t know specifics on your student loan situation but I stan SoFi any time I get the chance. Shit was life-changing and fairly easy to use.
This was me forever (and still is). But my wife's biological urges took over once she got close to 30 and she put the guilt trip on me. I still wish I could have helped a needy child somewhere. Maybe someday.
My wife was initially pretty pro kids & I was indifferent. We dated 4 years & slowly wore off on her thank god. Asked her why work that hard become a doctor & then go back to being tired,stressed,having no life? Not to mention..Is it fair I'm probably going be primary care giver bc her job when she's one that wants them? I'm going resent her & kid if I'm doing the heavy lifting. Do you want a happy husband or passive aggresive spouse/father? Also..family med histories Mine: Prevalent cancer, diabetes, anxiety,depression(dad's side) Mom's adopted (no clue) Hers: miscarriages,terrible post partum depression (her sisters), manic depression/schizophrenia, (dads fam)
Around the time my wife and I got married, we had the discussion of whether we wanted to forgo children and live in the city our whole lives (we were living in Brooklyn at the time). We ultimately decided we did want kids, so we moved to the suburbs three years ago, and almost two years ago we had our son. Thankfully it didn't take us too long to get pregnant despite our ages (we were both nearly 36 when our son was born) and I wouldn't trade it for anything. If anything, I would like a shorter commute to my job in the city, but Westchester is expensive AF.
Yeah, I enrolled in a program where the government takes over my loans and I pay fedloan.gov now. If you work for a non-profit organization for 10 years and make 120 qualifying payments, the rest of the debt is forgiven. I am about halfway through it and have 4ish more years of payments. I submitted my income driven repayment plan yearly and they figure out my payment. My wife took a new job and got a raise, and my payment rose by almost 300 dollars. We filed our taxes married but separate since they use that to determine the payment. I was told by several that your spouse’s income isn’t used to determine the payment, but obviously it was. That’s the only explanation. I appealed it, called several times and the guy I spoke to said yeah, that doesn’t make sense blah blah. The original increase was 294 dollars more than the year before. I appealed and the new payment was...298 dollars more. Haha, it rose by 4 more dollars. So, it’s kind of a mess. Hoping with the baby it will go down. If anyone has any experience with this, shoot me a PM. I have a co worker that is in the exact same program and filed their taxes separately and all that. And her payment is peanuts. We literally did the exact same thing. Ah well. Don’t mean to derail the thread.
You can get accurate, no-obligation quotes pretty much instantly after taking ten minutes to fill in your info. It’s worth just looking at their site. They’ll give you several options too depending on time and interest rates.
When my wife and I met, we were both in agreement on the “no kids” front. It wasn’t until I got my shit together, got back into the gym, got a great job, and became a man worthy of marriage did my view on children start to shift.
we had the exact opposite progression, when we started dating we were both team kids then once we came out the backside of education/got real jobs the view shifted
I'm very much a "live and let live" person, but it bottles my mind as well. Childless people are essentially saying, "Thanks, Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, and every ancestor I have dating back to the dawn on man, but all that work stops with me. I really want to go to Coachella next year and can't have anything getting in the way of that."
Coming up on 34. Been with the gf for 3.5 years now and she wants to move in together but I pushed that off another year. I may have some commitment issues but overall things are good. Diversifying the business side with a wine bar purchase to go along with the existing cafes. Work 75+ hours every single week and honestly don't know what else I would do with my time. Get up at 6 and work til at least 5 every day. Some days like today I work til 9PM and its pretty easy overall. Started to franchise them now and in talks to do one in Barbados so I don't hate that.
I’ve felt a little of that before. Mainly though, working in the operating room daily and seeing 70/80/90yr old patients roll back with broken hips, I wonder, “who’s going to give a flying fuck about me when I’m this old?” Then my stomach drops when I think, “who’s going to be there for (wife) after I’ve passed?” Yeah I hate these feels...