I need more of this. There's that great lady who does an insane southern Karen scream, but this is also nailing a Southern woman who has smoked for 30 years archetype.
gf just signed us up for white water rafting this summer. she's not too much into scary adventures please post the scariest/funniest white water rafting gifs you can find, thanks.
I was at a bachelor party about a decade ago and we did a tame rapids run. But one guy decided to trail us in this single dinghy. He managed to take the worst of every fork and was often going through backwards. It was incredible to watch
My wife went with her family when she was in her early twenties. Her sister got trapped in between a rock and the raft and almost drowned. instructors barely saved her. They don’t go anywhere near water activities now.
I think I was 14 when my dad, brother, sister, sister-in-law, and I went on a rafting trip in North Georgia. There was one particular rapid where they had a cameraman set up to take pictures of the all the groups as they descended, knowing that people eat absolute shit there. When we were done and at the campground they ran, a lady had a powerpoint slide of all these photos ready. My dad ate some incredible shit, in one shot he was in the raft and in the next (like 2 seconds after) he's feet up in the water. I managed to stay on because I remembered to put both my feet under the thwarts.
My uncle was a rafting rafting guide when he was younger and his brother still owns their rafting company in Southern Oregon. So my uncle decided to take us down the Upper Klamath River about a decade ago when most of us (my brothers and dad) have never been rafting before. "oh its a piece of cake" my uncle said. T'was not a piece of cake. First off, we were going with other like 4 other boats and all the other guides had big oars like the ones in the spoiler below... but my uncle was insistent that he just use a paddle. "I do it old school" he said. Spoiler Mind you, my uncle is no longer an active River Guide, he is a Tax CPA, and all the other real River Guides were shooting him (and us) concerned looks. First half of the day was a piece of cake, lazy river and we felt like pros. Then we pull off scope out the first and largest rapid of the day, Caldera, which can fluctuate between a Class III to a Class IV+ depending on the water height... and 200 yards after that rapid is a 1/2 mile long Class III+ before a Class IV called Satan's Gate. That day Caldera was running at a Class IV+, we were scared shitless. "Ok we will be the first boat down, we just have to make sure to not hit the mushroom rock in the middle of the rapid because we could flip and we don't want to float Satan's Gate" So we launch, and this part is burned into my memory. My uncle yells "Forward two. Forward two! Forward HARD! Right forward! LEFT BACK! FUCK!!!".... We hit the mushroom rock. My side of the boat lifts out of the water, so I'm about 10 feet above the surface (Boat + big rapid drop), get thrown out and just start fucking tumbling underwater. I have no idea which way is up, can't see shit, can't get above the water because whitewater is basically just all air. My foot hits something solid so I kick hard and finally come to the surface for a breath, but I'm pulled back under... then get a breath, then under, breath, under... for what seems like a long ass time. FINALLY I am able to grab a rock and catch my breath but I dont see anyone around. I wait for like 5 minutes on this rock and then finally see a boat. "There he is!" some unknown River Guide (with real fucking oars) yells and my Uncle and our boat comes and scoops me up. My Uncle, dad and brothers all got stuck under the boat but held on and were able to get it flipped pretty quickly. Turns out I was about 100 yards the 1/2 mile long rapids and if I would have made it to Satan's Gate... I might not be typing this post lol. I have been rafting a few times after that, just not anything as extreme. Here is a video (not mine) of the Caldera rapid. You can see the mushroom rock at 1:50 TL:DR - My uncle almost killed me
I told him Im not rafting with him again but he needs to bring fucking oars next time. All the other boats were having a grand time while the river guides were just guiding them down the rapids while they held on tight.
I HAVE READ THE ABOVE WAIVER AND RELEASE/CONTRACT AND BY SIGNING IT AGREE IT IS MY INTENTION TO EXEMPT AND RELIEVE COMPANY FROM LIABILITY FOR PERSONAL INJURY, PROPERTY DAMAGE OR WRONGFUL DEATH CAUSED BY NEGLIGENCE OR ANY OTHER CAUSE.
I can't imagine what the conversation on the way back home would be like. Uncle: "So, rough day huh?" Duck: "...I'm going to shit in your mouth."
That's what I was thinking it should have said for yellow Also add in the dad who's ordering drink after drink while telling the bartender "can you keep this to go food order under the warmer for me" and his wife keeps calling and he tells her "im still waiting on the food, yea they are super busy down here"
A simpler time when go karts roamed the roads I need you all to see the hype video that this person made to sell their 1994 Geo Metro— Soren Spicknall (@sorenspicknall.bsky.social) 2025-06-04T01:07:26.500Z
In Brands news, Smithfield Foods welcomed their summer interns with a song called "Fuck Me Baby"— Joad The Wet Sprocket (@joadsprocket.bsky.social) 2025-06-05T22:39:06.910Z
Where is the group of drunkenly obnoxious people there for a work conference. Yelling over each other about how much Dave in Accounting sucks and what not.
Last time I was the guy in green and the couple in yellow were two fat business people who met like 45 min before I got there and got their food to go back in the guys room.