Random Stuff People Do That Grinds Your Gears

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, Apr 21, 2020.

  1. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK You wanna know what I been down , DONT BOTHER ME
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta BravesLos Angeles LakersDallas CowboysBayern MunichTiger WoodsGrateful Dead

    :in-n-out:
     
  2. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida GatorsMiami MarlinsJacksonville JaguarsSporting Kansas CityAvengersMiami HeatSneakersWu-tang

    I’m only guilt of this if I have my kid with me.
     
  3. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida GatorsMiami MarlinsJacksonville JaguarsSporting Kansas CityAvengersMiami HeatSneakersWu-tang

    My argument is knock before you jiggle. Manners say assume the room behind the door is occupied if the door is closed. If that’s the case, manners dictate you knock, not just try to jiggle the handle.

    Public bathrooms have fucked up locks sometimes. Just knock.

    Yes, I expect a response when I knock. Who tf raised you people?

    If there’s no response, then you try the handle.
     
  4. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    You expect me to speak through a door to a stranger while I'm taking a shit in a public bathroom? Yea fuck that. Grab the door and take the hint if its locked. You're the weird one here.
     
    Tobias, 20/20/20/20, Dump and 2 others like this.
  5. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida GatorsMiami MarlinsJacksonville JaguarsSporting Kansas CityAvengersMiami HeatSneakersWu-tang

    You don’t have to introduce yourself, ask how their mom is doing. Just say occupied.

    This is why I lock the door in my own house; people like you have given me a complex.
     
  6. AubCabs

    AubCabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
    Donor

    Not just the dipshit that don’t use turn signals. But the fucking window lickers that slow way down for their turn, THEN turn on the turn signal as they make the turn. Like what the fuck.
     
    Butthead and Dump like this.
  7. kennypowers

    kennypowers Big shit like a dinosaur did it
    Donor TMB OG
    UCF KnightsAtlanta BravesJacksonville Jaguars

    Our grocery stores here (some Kroger brand) have adopted a one actual cashier open and then the rest is self checkout. I’m not putting beer back because they don’t want to hire cashiers.
     
    42yard, Tobias, thunderstruck and 5 others like this.
  8. Marc Edwards

    Marc Edwards Well-Known Member

    I always go to the tried and true, "Seats taken. Cant sit here." From Forrest Gump when someone tries to barge in on my shitter hide out.

    Ive had likely 5 uninterrupted dumps in the last 5 years. My kids must have an alarm for when my ass touches the seat.
     
    bigred77, Menelaus, Goose and 2 others like this.
  9. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    Na man you can grab the handle and get the point. I'm not speaking out to a stranger while on a public shitter.
     
  10. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's dad
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    Preach dblplay1212 you’re posting bathroom gospel right now
     
  11. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    I'm honestly miffed. This guy really wants me to audibly speak from the toilet in a public bathroom. That's me time. How dare you interrupt that and want me to speak to you. Nope, the handle is right there. Grab it and take the hint. We don't need to hear each other's voice.
     
    bwi2 and Celemo like this.
  12. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    Twist and see if it's locked doesn't annoy me

    Knock before turning mildly annoys me

    Twist then knock makes me hope you shit your bowels out and die right there on the shitter.
     
  13. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    People who FaceTime out load while at the gym or grocery store.

    People who ask if they can work in on equipment at the gym. Ask how many sets I have left. If it’s a bunch I will let you work in and offer but if I have 1-2 left you can wait.

    Peoplr who walk around without a towel on in the locker room.
     
    Cornelius Suttree likes this.
  14. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    People from work that unnecessarily send voice messages to the group instead of texts.

    Look at my phone and see 30 voice clips and yeah fuck that. I'll text somebody and find out what's going on.
     
  15. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Seattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksBarcelonaSeattle SupersonicsSeattle SoundersSeattle Kraken

    Ha. Oh man. I used to be the sad sack that had to round up grocery carts and shit for a while during my college years.

    I will put in every effort possible to snag all my groceries out of the cart so that I can leave it where it belongs in the store, and will always grab a stray cart outside to use as my own, because this sort of thing was my personal hell.
     
    42yard, PaulKemp, Eamudo229 and 7 others like this.
  16. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida GatorsMiami MarlinsJacksonville JaguarsSporting Kansas CityAvengersMiami HeatSneakersWu-tang

    Enjoy the face-to-face meeting next time a public door’s lock doesn’t work because you believe in not knocking.

    Bathroom door is the same as the front door of a house. There are locks on both. You knock.
     
  17. M'ark Pepperonio

    M'ark Pepperonio Free mahi mahi! Free mahi mahi!
    Staff Donor
    Michigan State Spartans

    People who press farts deep into their seat cushion on an airplane
     
    hood b. goode likes this.
  18. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    People that don’t look both ways and just walk out in traffic with headphones on
     
    Tiffin likes this.
  19. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Seattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksBarcelonaSeattle SupersonicsSeattle SoundersSeattle Kraken

    Well since this seems is becoming a topic of debate:

    People that shit in public Restrooms. There should be more shame in needing to shit in a public bathroom than “hurrrrrr I shouldn’t be asked to speak to a stranger from behind a closed door”.

    But since I now know that this is seemingly a thing for public restroom shitters, I absolutely plan on trying to communicate with those that engage in such behavior.
     
  20. Corch

    Corch I wanna talk to Sampson
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDenver NuggetsCleveland BrownsColorado State RamsCleveland CavaliersCleveland IndiansBig Ten Conference

    Do you think people prefer to shit in public?

    Follow up question: Are you insane?
     
    Tobias, Tiffin, Fusiontegra and 12 others like this.
  21. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    I should be ashamed for shitting in an office that I'm in for 10+ hours a day?

    Ok.
     
    Lenin and Corch like this.
  22. Corch

    Corch I wanna talk to Sampson
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDenver NuggetsCleveland BrownsColorado State RamsCleveland CavaliersCleveland IndiansBig Ten Conference

    Shitting in a public restroom is a last resort for anyone with an ounce of sanity.
     
  23. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    He's one of those guys that will leave a ballgame early bc he has to shit.
     
    Lenin likes this.
  24. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    You must have an amazing GI tract if you've never had an emergency while not at home.
     
    Lenin and dblplay1212 like this.
  25. Corch

    Corch I wanna talk to Sampson
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDenver NuggetsCleveland BrownsColorado State RamsCleveland CavaliersCleveland IndiansBig Ten Conference

    If you're going to a sporting event or movie and don't shit at least a few hours before you're an idiot. Those are the last places I'd want to shit.
     
  26. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    I've never come up short at a sporting event but that seems like a nightmare scenario.
     
    Fusiontegra, FTK, Corch and 2 others like this.
  27. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    Agreed, but sometimes shit happens. Between tailgating and the game, that can be a good 8 hours away from home. I don't recall ever shitting during a game but I would if I had to.
     
    Lenin likes this.
  28. Corch

    Corch I wanna talk to Sampson
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesDenver NuggetsCleveland BrownsColorado State RamsCleveland CavaliersCleveland IndiansBig Ten Conference

    About two years ago I was driving home from work and had to shit badly. My route home from work was pretty terrible because there was no highway to get there quicker. I had Chipotle for lunch and there was an accident on my normal route and I was working pretty hard to hold it in. I was only a few minutes from home but I couldn't take it anymore so I pulled into Taco Bell was expecting the worst. It turned out to be the cleanest fast food restaurant I'd ever seen and I tore that thing up. I think my guardian angel was watching me that day.
     
    #78 Corch, Apr 21, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2020
  29. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    I once had a job that had me on the road 3 weeks a month. One of those weeks was driving all across South Carolina. I'd leave the hotel in the morning and drive to 3-4 towns before finding a hotel that night. I wrecked many fast food bathrooms. Not proud but it had to be done.
     
  30. The Banks

    The Banks TMB's Alaskan
    Donor TMB OG
    Oregon DucksGreen Bay PackersDetroit Red WingsBayern Munich

    People that ride their bike in the road with a 65 mph speed limit and a 45 mph minimum when there is a bike path next to the road.
     
    Tiffin, War Grundle and Lenin like this.
  31. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's dad
    Donor
    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersOregon State Beavers alt

    This is the best thing I’ve read in like 3 weeks
     
    Boo MFer!, Lenin and Corch like this.
  32. Dump

    Dump The Forever Chaos Agent of TMB
    Donor
    Texas AandM Aggies altTexas RangersDetroit LionsDallas StarsDallas Mavericks alt

    Sometimes I just want to bump their back tire a little bit and watch them squirm
     
  33. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Seattle MarinersSeattle SeahawksBarcelonaSeattle SupersonicsSeattle SoundersSeattle Kraken


    I guess I’m confused; are they strangers or coworkers/employees? What I thought you were talking about was shitting in public restrooms. I feel like there are several people that have zero shame shitting in public restrooms. But now you’re talking about being at your office. Is your office shitting situation a public restroom?
     
  34. fucktx

    fucktx ruthkanda forever
    Donor
    Texas RangersDallas Stars

    i prefer shitting my pants personally
     
  35. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideNew York YankeesJacksonville Jaguars2pacSneakersFormula 1

    If it's not my house, it's a public restroom. I dont know all 150+ people there.
     
    REGGNECK and Lenin like this.
  36. G46

    G46 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida GatorsNew York YankeesNew York KnicksNew York GiantsNew York Rangers

    Should I just say all the messy/lazy things my wife does?

    - Never puts a new roll of toilet paper on the holder.
    - Leaves dirty clothes on the bathroom and closet floor.
    - Never shuts her closet door
    - Never puts dishes in the dishwasher, they go right in the sink, along with bottles caps, plastic bags, paper towels, etc.
    - Doesn’t put anything away or back where she got it from
    - Doesn’t shut doors or cabinets

    Basically everything your parents made you do as a child, she doesn’t do.
     
  37. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysNational LeagueAvengersBarAndGrill

    I’ll shit anywhere I don’t give a fuck
     
    Tobias, Tiffin, Wu and 4 others like this.
  38. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    My issue isn't a normal shit in a public bathroom as much as the fact that on the rare occasion I'm caught in a position where I have to, there's a 99% chance it's loud, explosive and will probably melt nostril hairs.
     
    Funshot Residue and Lenin like this.
  39. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesBoston Red SoxPhiladelphia EaglesKent State Golden FlashesCleveland Cavaliers

    Look man, this is a tough way to find out but we married the same woman. I’ll be the bigger man here. You can keep her. I just need your address so I can drop off all her shit.
     
  40. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Georgia BulldogsAtlanta Braves

    wat
     
    Tobias, thunderstruck, Tiffin and 2 others like this.
  41. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
    Donor
    Ohio State Buckeyes

    Crowded bar
     
  42. G46

    G46 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida GatorsNew York YankeesNew York KnicksNew York GiantsNew York Rangers

    I find paper towels, plastic bags (like bags that lettuce or pre cut carrots would come in), and random plastic caps (water bottles, the interior cap to almond milk, etc) in the sink every day. She basically uses the sink as a catch all.
     
    thunderstruck and Tiffin like this.
  43. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
    Donor
    Ohio State Buckeyes

    Does she garbage stack?

    My wife will not acknowledge that the garbage is full and needs to be taken out, so she plays garbage-jenga, stacking each piece of new garbage higher and higher while hoping it doesn’t fall.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  44. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrillBig Ten Conference

    I had to shit in a portajohn in 25 degree weather this past winter. It might have been the worst experience of my life. Fortunately it was relatively clean
     
  45. G46

    G46 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida GatorsNew York YankeesNew York KnicksNew York GiantsNew York Rangers

    Yep, that isn’t as common though. She is not terrible about taking out the trash
     
    herb.burdette likes this.
  46. Wu

    Wu Nope.
    TMB OG

    There’s one member on my team whose breathing I can hear on conference calls

    it’s infuriating
     
    Lenin, Marc Edwards and War Grundle like this.
  47. blotter

    blotter Aristocratic Bum
    Donor
    Florida State Seminoles

    This is slightly a "yet you participate in society" level criticism, but I never know how sincere people who harp on "hating people" are being, and why they don't move into the boonies if that's actually the case. On an IRL level quite literally nothing because I have long since lived in the boonies by myself
     
    Tiffin likes this.
  48. NilesIrish

    NilesIrish Not a master fisher but I know bait when I see it
    Donor TMB OG
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishChicago CubsChicago BullsChicago BearsChicago BlackhawksDemocrat

    People that call turn signals blinkers. What is this? Preschool?

    :justsayin:
     
  49. Open Carry

    Open Carry TMB Rib Master
    Donor
    Hartford WhalersAuburn TigersConnecticut HuskiesAtlanta United

    I share an office with a guy that chews with his mouth open. The noises that come out of his mouth are slowly driving me insane.
     
    Marc Edwards likes this.
  50. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    Shitting in a portajohn in 25 degrees sounds a lot better than 90 degrees
     
    Tobias, Loran, mizz1439 and 10 others like this.