Random Thoughts That Don’t Warrant Their Own Thread 2019

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, Jan 1, 2018.

  1. little cletus

    little cletus Awreetus-Awrightus
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    Showed up to work a little hungover this morning. Took a big, nice two wipe shit, my buddy had a chick fil a biscuit waiting for me, and a big meeting has been canceled.

    Everything’s coming up Milhouse.
     
  2. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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    not sure if i'm more jealous of the two wipe shit or the chick fil a biscuit
     
  3. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Is a 2 wiper ever really just a 2 wiper though? It is usually followed up with 2 safety wipes in case I somehow missed. Quickly followed by a triumphant fist pump and HELL YES.
     
  4. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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    If it's 1 wipe with a follow up wipe and clean, that's a 2 wipe. I'm happy with a 4 wipe too. #weoldhomie
     
  5. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Only 1 safety wipe! You are playing with fire, pal.
     
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  6. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    I learned from an old Burmese man that if you just stop wiping, eventually you don't even need to anymore. I'm like 2.5 years strong now
     
  7. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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    I like living by the seat of my pants.
     
  8. RU-Omega Potato

    RU-Omega Potato Well-Known Member
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    My second cousin who I was close to did this at her wedding years ago.

    Even though my long term GF at the time (now wife) and I met her and her fiance out on their first date. Thought it was weird but figured it was about cutting costs so I figured it was cool.

    Then all her first cousins showed up with +1s that were essentially randos at the time. Cousin was totally fine with it. I was quietly pissed.

    Things have never been the same between my cousin and I since.

    Pay attention to see if everyone has to abide by the rules or if some assholes are just "special".
     
  9. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    Poop Knife 4 lyfe
     
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  10. Truman

    Truman Well-Known Member
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    This dude on my floor freshman year wouldn’t wipe his ass after his pre shower shit because “the shower will just get it”

    He was a real life pigpen. He was always smelly AF. Felt so bad for his roommate.
     
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  11. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Y'all take weddings way too seriously
     
  12. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    duc15 I'll be in your quadrant starting this Friday through the 18th
     
  13. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    If I never have to go to another wedding again outside of my child I will be totally fine with that.
     
  14. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
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    Usually wipe/flush at least twice when pooping

    Side note: had almond butter for the first time a couple days ago and enjoyed it. Not sure I’ll switch from peanut butter as I don’t think it’s worth the additional $.
     
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  15. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Did she get along with your girl?
     
  16. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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    go on...
     
  17. racer

    racer Forecheck, Backcheck, Paycheck, buddy.
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  18. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Maybe if he ate in such a fashion that he needed to shit every day and not every 2nd or 3rd day he wouldn’t need a poop knife.
     
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  19. RU-Omega Potato

    RU-Omega Potato Well-Known Member
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    Hugs all around.

    They even had a funny moment together the night we met them out.

    My girl didn't know this was my cousin at first so when this attractive girl comes running up to me all excited and gives me a huge hug she was kinda taken back. I did a real quick names only intro and I excuse myself to take a leak. My girl is like, "So how long you know Potato?" (she thought she was in trouble) and my cousin says "My whole life!" They were laughing about it when I got back. My cousin then tells us she's on a date with this tall dorky guy who a friend set her up with. They hit it off.

    Was just weird.
     
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  20. IvanTheTerrible

    IvanTheTerrible Well-Known Member
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    Wat
    So I did a bit of talking with some old college friends that still run in that circle. He's definitely having to call people and let them know that it was an error on "theknot.com". Also, his best man's sister isn't invited to the wedding because his fiancee isn't a fan of her (This girl and my buddy never dated. But they did hook up once. But remain friends).

    I totally get not wanting rando's at your wedding if you are cost cutting for the event. I just have never seen it done and it seems like a misfire by their wedding planner/website.
     
  21. IvanTheTerrible

    IvanTheTerrible Well-Known Member
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    Easily one of the funniest reads I've had in a long time. This plays out like an episode of Big Little Lies.

    Also the fact that JJ Redick is wrapped up in this:leo:
     
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  22. Tiffin

    Tiffin Florida is a penis.
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    DFW NBC has some nice talent. Fox weather girl too.
     
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  23. dump

    dump #YangGang2020
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    WFAA traffic girl BayouMafia



     
  24. Tiffin

    Tiffin Florida is a penis.
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  25. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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  26. Futureman

    Futureman I’m gonna defer to Marcus on this one
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    That woman is goddamn brickhouse.
     
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  27. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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  28. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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  29. Oranjello

    Oranjello Well-Known Member
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    How many people were invited to your wedding? This comment needs some perspective
     
  30. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
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    [​IMG]
     
  31. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Yeah. And things like how did you do the food, drinks, seating etc. Shit is expensive
     
  32. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    10k/month mortgage?

    [​IMG]
     
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  33. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    agree. If you know they are in a long term relationship and don't offer a +1, you are being tacky. Same goes for if you don't know and they call and ask for one for their significant other.
    Only matters if you are trying to keep the wedding small.
     
  34. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Seems like that dude was trolling and it worked
     
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  35. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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  36. Futureman

    Futureman I’m gonna defer to Marcus on this one
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    Apparently they have a 10 year mortgage on a $1.3M house which is why the payment is so high. That's a good move if you make the money they do.

    They deserve to get dragged for this but its pretty easy to get them on budget and it won't even really impede on their way of life.
    - Cut the Vanguard Contribution to $2,500 a month until you pay off the house
    - "Limit" the clothes budget to $1,500 a month
    - "Limit" food spending to $2,000 a month

    I can't imagine that would be all that difficult. Do that and you have a $265 surplus to spend of party supplies.
     
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  37. BamaNug

    BamaNug Want to retire right MEOW
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    Seattle sits between the Olympic and Cascade mountains. Mountain goats are native to the Cascades, but around 1900 a bunch of farmers/hunters relocated a shitload of goats to the Olympics to hunt. Eventually, people stopped hunting them and they just reproduced. Now they're an invasive species that's hurting the ecosystem.

    So every summer, they use helicopters to move the goats from the Olympics to the Cascades. The videos are always great;

     
  38. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    3K for food seems steep.
     
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  39. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit But the second mouse gets the cheese
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    $250 home insurance on a $10k mortgage.

    I'm out.
     
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  40. lechnerd

    lechnerd They say Monaco is a sunny place for shady people
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  41. Futureman

    Futureman I’m gonna defer to Marcus on this one
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    It's a 10 year mortgage on a $1.3M house so the mortgage payment is skewed high. Still, that seems like about half (or more) of what it should be.

    One of my best friends builds homes and he has the cheapest policy he could find on his home because "If it burns down I can build a new one for the cost of building materials."
     
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  42. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    And the thousands of hours of labor
     
  43. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    If there's no real joke to be had is it really trolling or just lying like an idiot?
     
  44. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Its a fake life troll. He's a "36 year old cto with a model wife" who has a justification for every line of that spreadsheet. It's lech, or someone just like him
     
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  45. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    So...like a liar. Troll is too nice for dumbasses who make up fake shit on the internet for no real payoff except their own sociopathy.
     
  46. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    Sure. He's a bad troll who made up a lie for a reaction. Call it what you want, I'm just pointing out what it was
     
  47. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    A wealthy woman making a passive aggressive post with Tupac lyrics is amazing
     
  48. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
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    But it did work