siri: how do i kill myself

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Taques, Sep 26, 2020.

  1. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
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    The Real Movement

  2. killerwvu

    killerwvu Restoring WVU's E-Rep 1 Post At A Time
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  3. devine

    devine hi, I am user devine
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    3WW down the stretch was some of the worst coaching I’ve ever seen. Guy is so bad
     
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  4. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey is this thing on?
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    You have lots of options
     
  5. Irush

    Irush Fairwell Solenya
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    You already have. This is purgatory.
     
  6. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    You'll actually die eventually without even doing anything
     
  7. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    Hire Will Muschamp
     
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  8. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    That was a top 5 bad beat
     
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  9. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
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    lol...like you’re not used to losing in embarrassing fashion
     
  10. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
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    ive died and gone to hell
     
  11. AlternativeFactsRule

    AlternativeFactsRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    Time - the lazy man's suicide.
     
  12. Tex

    Tex Yikes
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  13. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    i have many friends who work in areas that would know about suicide. Do not try to shot yourself unless your head is secured, the first impact will cause your head to snap back and you will wake up with half a face in the hospital. Make sure your head can’t snap back if you are trying to shoot yourself.

    Also do not hang yourself, tie the rope to an immovable object, then tie the rope to your head, get in your car and hit the gas. That will do it.
     
    #14 IHHH, Sep 26, 2020
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2020
  14. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
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    i think im just going to stick my face into a chainsaw but thank you
     
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  15. The Banks

    The Banks TMB's Alaskan
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  16. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    Yeah but hell has a thread with some nice pics of Hillary Duff's ass
     
  17. AlternativeFactsRule

    AlternativeFactsRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    This is the type of valuable information this board needs more of. Thank you.
     
  18. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    One day closer to basketball season
     
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  19. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey is this thing on?
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    unironically the only informative post you’ve ever made tyfys
     
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  20. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    you haven’t paid attention
     
  21. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey is this thing on?
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    correct
     
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  22. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    but if we are really bonding and telling the truth right now, you were probably right
     
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  23. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    You obviously missed last week's tutorial on non-gorey suicide methods.

    Hint: Advil won't do the trick cleanly
     
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  24. Wu

    Wu Man Of The People
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    Have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton
     
  25. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Spit it..
     
  26. BellottiBold

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    The first person to figure this out... quite the visionary
     
  27. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    never thought about it until a friend of mine told me about it. It leaves a solid mess though


    And I know you were trying to make fun of me, but it literally never crossed my mind.
     
  28. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    I’m guessing most posts in here are joking around, but for whatever it’s worth I hope any of you struggling right now find someone you can talk with.
     
  29. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    oh yeah, killing yourself is always a bad idea. My posting was really in poor taste, killing yourself is not a solution. There are so many people you can talk to, wether it’s here or elsewhere.

    my comments were purely factual, but it’s always a terrible decision to commit suicide, the mess physically is not even close to the mess that it leaves behind for many people. Talk to people, scream for help.
     
  30. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
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    why would anybody want a painless death

    i need extra gore to atone for my sins
     
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  31. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
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    really the only thing keeping me alive rn
     
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  32. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey is this thing on?
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    killing your self is literally a solution but I understand the impulse to do therapy
     
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  33. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Do not ruin my political campaign
     
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  34. BellottiBold

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    I actually wasn't... at all.
    I see now that it can read as though I think *you* are said visionary, but that wasn't the intent
     
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  35. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Might I suggest attending an FSU game and contracting covid
     
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  36. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Texas Tech sold it’s soul for the 2008 Michael Crabtree game. Hope it was worth it guy.
     
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  37. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    got you, no worries.
     
  38. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
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    Thread almost delivers. Would have been A+ if somebody had shit on OU out of bottom dwellers' conference pride
     
  39. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    Keep deflecting about how shitty your team has been since Vince and Colt
     
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  40. devine

    devine hi, I am user devine
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    Op if you get a good answer let me know lol
     
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  41. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    don’t do it buddy, we almost all love you
     
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  42. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    I saw a video of a guy in Wisconsin WM parking lot that tied the rope to a street light and gassed it and it took his head off. It was the 2nd worst video I’ve seen of real life events in my life
     
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  43. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Huh?
     
  44. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    that’s a tough one, but I can take it.
     
  45. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    never saw any of this, I really don’t want to

    but a friend of mine talked to me about what he does and that situation came up.
     
  46. IanBoyd

    IanBoyd Well-Known Member
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    only you're dumb enough to go to an opposing fan's venting thread to shit talk after that abortion of a game.

    keep foaming.
     
  47. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Internet is serious business for this guy. :roll:
     
  48. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Amen

    This time next month Illinois will be fresh off a curb stomping from Wisconsin and I'll be saying we're less than a month away

    Can't wait
     
  49. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    I think he only wanted to die once, not make it a weekly thing