So You Have A Daughter....

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Celemo, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. OopsPowSurprise

    OopsPowSurprise Owed one ass kicking from poweshow
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    i didn't know how to handle myself in every thread before there were new mods
     
  2. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    If I were mod I would ban people asking for bans

    Shit would hit the fan
     
  3. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    This sounds suspiciously like someone asking for bans.
     
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  4. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
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    correct, devine is advocating bans for those asking for bans thus making himself what he detests

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
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    but for the record devine has no power he just looks like an idiot

    carry on
     
  6. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    What the hell
     
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  7. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Apparently my daughter is nervous about singing to me. No idea where she got stage fright.

    (I threw up before almost every performance I did in band for 10 years)
     
  8. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    Boyd Crowder was trying to get one of the new mods to delete a guy's post grieving about losing his mother. I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of lame ass whining and crying for bans.
     
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  9. OopsPowSurprise

    OopsPowSurprise Owed one ass kicking from poweshow
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    Eh 6 seconds is pretty abhorrent

    That mom post was just weird though
     
  10. Gammon

    Gammon Moving at the speed of later

    Very commendable of you and your wife that she feels comfortable enough to ask you these questions, especially at her age.
     
  11. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
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    image.jpeg 6th grader was told to draw a political cartoon in social studies, captions left to right:

    1. Stork bundle--"Ship to USA"

    2. Stork--"You're gonna be a very special baby."

    3. Mosquito--"Yes you are."

    4. Mosquito bundle--"Zika
     
  12. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    That's pretty damned clever.
     
  13. herb.burdette

    herb.burdette Meet me at the corner of 8th and Worthington
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    She has a great message board career ahead of her.
     
  14. colonelrascals

    colonelrascals Mayonnaise-colored Benz, I push miracle whips
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    post of the year ladies and gentlemen.
     
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  15. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Jesus Fucking Christ at this thread.

    I've known Celemo for a lot of years, and I know what a good and loving parent he is. Fuck you to any asshole cracking on him for telling an amusing anecdote itt.

    Congrats to those guys becoming fathers of daughters for the first time. It's the best thing in the world. Don't fuck it up.
     
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  16. Boar Skarloff

    Boar Skarloff Standin up fuckin in a hammock

    Just had my first daughter on Monday. I'm completely aware of the potential to fuck this up.
     
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  17. bama1

    bama1 I like you
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    Me and the daughter are home alone while the mom is visiting her family for the weekend. Gonna be :ohnoes: all weekend. She's 1 1/2 so I'm nervous as shit she's gonna be crying for her ma-ma all night.

    She just took our daughter up there 2 weeks ago for a week so when she went for her sisters graduation this time I told her Annabelle was staying here with me. :donotwant: Hoping it goes smooth.
     
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  18. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Does her name end in an i? if not, you're off to a great start of not fucking it up.
     
  19. broken internet

    broken internet Everything I touch turns to gold.
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    Or an apostrophe.
     
  20. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Spotted a little skid mark in my drawers. Thought "Oh, shit...it's my period", and giggled like a little girl.

    When TMB crosses over into rl. :facepalm:
     
  21. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Soooooooo how's it going?
     
  22. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    You're already past menopause, no need to worry
     
  23. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    FIFM
     
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  24. bama1

    bama1 I like you
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    Been to the park and the zoo since Thursday. Going well besides the fiancé asking why she has to be gone for me to do those things. :dealwithit::awesomeface::drdump::fuckyocouch::hurfdurf:
     
  25. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    my daughter is so pissed off at my wife at the moment. They were all at the beach and asked to go get some ice cream. Apparently one of my daughter's friends had arranged to meet a 16 year old boy there after explicitly being told she couldn't do that. Wife found out, dragged everyone's asses back to the house. My daughter is mortified.

    Meanwhile, I'm the good guy inwardly smiling knowing my wife doesn't play. Fucking teenagers.
     
  26. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Good mom there.
     
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  27. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    checked in on my daughter this evening as she was going to sleep. She asked me to get her some water. I brought it in and dropped, "my water game is on fleek."
    Dad of the year
     
  28. jaygabriel

    jaygabriel Well-Known Member
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    Grilled out at the house yesterday; played baseball in the yard for ~2 hours and 7-year-old daughter hit as good as the 8 & 9-year-old boys. :feelsgoodman:

    On top of that, she took it like a champ when dad trucked while she was going from 3rd to home (dad was hustling to catch an overthrow from the OF, caught her with a forearm to the cheek). Didn't shed a tear. Proud papa.
     
  29. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    Got a lesbian...congrats
     
  30. jaygabriel

    jaygabriel Well-Known Member
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    Meh, if anything that'll be my youngest. She's an absolute beast.

    Oldest is too prissy (in spite of her sports aptitude and pain tolerance).
     
  31. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Kendall needs to start wearing a bra, it's like pulling teeth getting her to wear one...fuck
     
  32. Jorts

    Jorts "Ask about my Mortgage Services"
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    [​IMG]
     
  33. Futureman

    Futureman Check you later kemosabe
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    Hello yes i'm having a daughter in late November. Is this the thread where we exchange expedient suicide options?
     
  34. Xr4ti

    Xr4ti Well-Known Member
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    Your wife was all like...

    :fuckoff: Not on my watch


    Bravo to her. I've got two daughters and I know my wife is going to be them same way.
     
  35. DelapThrows

    DelapThrows Comforter, Philosopher, and Lifelong Mate
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    And compare notes on tower building. I'm constantly looking into adding a tower to the house.
     
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  36. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Sounds like OP needs to bust out that book again
     
  37. GrizzliesDrew

    GrizzliesDrew Fuck Freeze
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    Text from my wife about my 6yo son.

    "Chase asked "how girls become naked?" Then smirked."
     
  38. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    [​IMG]
     
  39. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Good news, it looks like 00:06:00 finally overdosed
     
  40. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    Do what?
     
  41. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Hasn't been active since July 4th
     
  42. J.R. Bob Dobbs

    J.R. Bob Dobbs Fan of: Firing Coaches, Cutting Players



     
  43. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    there's a "going out with a bang" joke in there somewhere
     
  44. enjj

    enjj Well-Known Member
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    I'm curious to see how you responded.
     
  45. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    i will take "Things you should never say about your daughter" for $1,000.00, Alex
     
  46. GrizzliesDrew

    GrizzliesDrew Fuck Freeze
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    I didn't. This happened at 7:30 in the morning and I didn't see him until 3:15 that afternoon. Figured the best thing to do was ignore it.
     
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  47. 00:06:00

    00:06:00 Didnt like me then, gonna hate me now
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    Overdosed your Mom on dick, yeah
     
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  48. DrTomOsbourne

    DrTomOsbourne Fully Husked
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  49. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    [​IMG]
     
  50. 00:06:00

    00:06:00 Didnt like me then, gonna hate me now
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    Becauase I aint no punk like you and that wtx faggot, I know how to handle drugs and dick