Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

This one makes the top 20 imo.

 

He just left the “Rack” part off to sound fancy

 

Me: (Head in clothes dryer full of acetone/goof-off fumes) When did you notice an ink pen had gone through the wash?
Her: Oh, the other parts came out a couple of weeks ago, I didn't look for the ink tube thingy.
Me: (Stares at ruined flannel sheets/pillow cases)(Thinks to self that post-fumes I will still have more brain cells) Sigh.

 

put them on a guest bed and tell the story every time someone stays

 

You wild

 

Maybe I will. Damn nice Woolrich flannel ones. Look like somebody rebuilt a carburetor on them. Classy.

 

Me: What is this $961 charge on the Amex?
Her: You told me I could get a new phone so I did.
Me: Yeah, I said to get a new phone for around $30 per month.
Her: Here’s the receipt. That’s what I did.
Me: No, you bought a 256GB iPhone 8 with a cover for $961. Why the fuck did you buy a 256GB phone?
Her: What’s 256GB mean? I got an iPhone 8.
Me: The 64GB version is $150 cheaper. You’re taking that one back tomorrow and getting the 64GB.
Her: No, I’m not! You told me to get a new phone so I got a new phone. This whole conversation is making me feel small. You’re an asshole for treating me like I’m dumb.
Me: When it comes to cell phones, apparently you are fucking dumb. Take the phone back tomorrow, please.

 

Please?

 

That’s my condescending way of being polite.

 

I didn't know an iphone 8 could cost 961$. Do they even still make those?

 

It's been out for 6 months

 

you are dumb

 

I thought the X was the new one? No?

 

You walk dogs for a living.

Spoiler

nice jumpshot though

 

X is the premium model that they rushed to market to compete with Samsung, and it costs something absurd like $1300 for a 256 gig. 8 and 8+ are the newest non-edge to edge screen versions.

 

I take care of dogs and cats for a living, thank you very much

 

I feel like leaving your significant other to make decisions regarding electronics is a bigger indictment of you than her.

 

That whole conversation seems pretty intense for something that added like $6 a month over a two year installment

 

While I agree, my expectation of telling her “you can get a new phone” was her asking me to go to the ATT store to help her get a new phone. I was shocked she did this by herself (and she was proud...until that conversation).

Are you married?

 

Yeah. Although we keep separate finances and are both reasonable with money, so maybe there's some cumulative effect that I'm missing.

 

IIRC he's never farted in front of his wife so he's a psycho who's opinion should not be trusted

 

I don’t really care about the money. I “care” about being ignorant with regards to a $1000 purchase. $150 isn’t a big deal, but wasting $150 on 192GB of iPhone storage is annoying/stupid.

 

your s/o sounds like a facetious tart.

 

No relation to me but this seemed like a good place for this future meme.

 

how old are you

 

wes tegg
Also Chipper>Jeter

 

SVP looks like he saw it happen

 

isn't your lady a barner? she swung in to pick you up?

 

too Stepford for that ah?

 

I've had a handful of meals/beers there, and have definitely sat right where she plowed into.

Were you inside when the crash actually happened?

 

Chipper>Jeter needs to let the board know when his wife is driving outside the Auburn city limits

 

She would totally act like that shit was the pub’s fault too

 

My 7 year old son asked the wife how to spell Vancouver. Wife got the first three letters before Googling it. That alone is worth a but I decided to press my luck, so I asked if she knew where Vancouver was. Her first three guesses (in order):

- Near Denver
- No, wait, Washington DC?
- The Oregon Trail?

 

Dp, but I'll use this space to note that my wife has two bachelors degrees and a master's degree and didn't know that Vancouver was in Canada. What's worse is that it didn't surprise me in the least.

 

The Oregon Trail?

 

I for one would like to know what she thought that 4th letter might be

 

My guess would be a q

 

This reminds me of another one. The other day we were playing games with our 4 year old where we named a letter followed by words that start with that letter ... D is for dog, C is for cat, etc.

I guess we really got rolling because at one point my wife blurted out, "and W is for Mommy!"

 

Fort Vancouver, Washington was one of the endpoints of the Oregon Trail

 

Which would make the 5th letter a u.

 

Saying “can’t wait for this to become a meme” is indicative of a person who doesn’t really get how memes are started.