Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Jc6

    Jc6 Space for Rent
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    My wife is heading back to the store to get an item. This is her third trip in two days to get tortillia chips.

    No bullshit.

    UPDATE: make that 4th trip because she just returned home to get her credit card.
     
    #7851 Jc6, Feb 9, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2019
  2. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Pedro must be a hell of a fuck
     
  3. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Sweetums went to IKEA before seeing a concert Saturday and came home with a bunch of stuff we don’t need.
    Her: Look at these dish scrubbers I got.
    Me: Did they come with instructions for you on how to use them.

    Of course I’m an asshole but it was worth it.
     
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  4. cdaysker

    cdaysker Quarry
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    My wife just bought two of those the other day. I actually like them, the suction on the end of the handle is quite convenient.
     
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  5. bradley z

    bradley z fuck off
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    amazing how individuals get excited at the simplest things .
     
  6. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
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  7. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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  8. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    Is that a Blood Simple reference? Kudos if so
     
  9. blind dog

    blind dog Razorbacks
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    My 9 year old daughter needed to dry her hair tonight and asked to move hair dryer from bathroom to living room and I said okay just be careful when you plug it in that you don’t touch metal part or it will shock you.

    Wife: “will it really?” I thought she was fucking with me. She was not

    But then again I’ve shocked myself before and she never has so maybe I’m the dumbass
     
    #7859 blind dog, Feb 18, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2019
  10. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    This isn't necessarily as much stupid as it was awkward as hell:

    I had just moved into a new place but had to go out of town for two weeks so my girlfriend set everything up including the wifi.

    I didn't have anything other than the basics (hadn't really bought anything expensive since the divorce) there but it was a nice place and I had a friend that has a lot of airbnb's in the area so I figured I would make a couple grand while I was out of town and just airbnb it.

    So it gets rented to a 50 year old women in from New York and I get a call asking for the wifi.

    My girlfriend made the wifi name ThreesCompany - with the password of Slutswelcome.

    I had to relay this to a 50 year old lady over the phone because my gf didn't know how to change it.
     
  11. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl When I talked about it, carried on
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    Please tell me you broke it down where it didn’t sound like “sluts welcome” when you said it...?

    “Yeah it’s SLU... TSWE...LCO...ME.”
     
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  13. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog
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    Your gf with the self-own calling herself a slut. And apparently is into threesomes. Congrats.
     
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  14. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Phone call:

    Me: “what’s the WiFi name and password?”

    Gf: “ThreesCompany”

    Me: “That’s a pretty dumb name for our WiFi”

    Gf: “But I made the password SlutsWelcome”

    Me: “touché”
     
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  15. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Yea I went letter by letter hoping she would just type it in and not notice but she was writing it down so she read it back to me after.
     
  16. dump

    dump Night King Poster
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    your GF is pretty awesome
     
  17. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Does your girl have a sister? Asking for a friend.
     
  18. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Reminds me of a story my buddy told me...he worked for a regulator and got some records from a company. That company gave it a password of "eatshit"

    Methinks they were not all that uncomfortable in relaying that one, though
     
  19. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Yeah that’s pretty awesome. My wife would barely be able to get the router powered on.
     
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  20. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I used to live next door to a pretty famous insta model that was 100% an escort and her WiFi was:

    “Sorry for the sex noises”
     
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  21. PCH

    PCH 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    I'm gonna go old school here, but it's well deserved.

    :rules:
     
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  22. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Nm
     
    #7872 Eathan Edwards, Feb 19, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2019
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  23. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Hung Member
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    Wow congrats on listening to EmRat have sex
     
  24. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Sadly was not emrata

    Do you think I would be on a message board ever if that was next door.
     
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  25. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    Because you’d be a peeping Tom?
     
  26. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Hung Member
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    No offense, Big E, but I doubt your social schedule would change much.
     
  27. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    Maybe it was Robin Thicke himself. The dude could use the money after losing all of his to the Marvin Gaye estate.
     
  28. PCH

    PCH 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    What? Lol


    You can't even tell us who it is?
     
  29. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Hung Member
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    It's clearly Pharrell, guys.
     
  30. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    My entire daily schedule would revolve around her.

    Would have probably destroyed every business In which I was involeved.
     
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  31. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    Why not just get a pet turtle and a pin-up calendar instead
     
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  32. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Seems like a hard pivot but I’ll take it into consideration.
     
  33. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Alledging a specific person is a prostitute in a public forum that is traceable - yea not willing to walk down that road.

    When we finally have the LA main-board event I’ll say a lot more specifics.
     
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  34. PCH

    PCH 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Gotcha. Fair enough
     
  35. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Oh shut the fuck up and just say who. Just say she is allegedly a prosty.
     
  36. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci How can less be more? It's impossible
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    Eathan Edwards is "guess what? Oh sorry cant tell you" guy
     
  37. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    That’s awesome on the gf and WiFi. It was a just a few weeks ago that sweetums was looking at the power wheels charger outside trying to figure out how to restart the internet. Kinda jealous of you.
     
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  38. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    obviously jessi m’bengue

     
  39. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Drill circular hole through wall -

    “Hey sorry was trying to hang a picture frame”
     
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  40. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Mine wouldn't even know what the router was.
     
  41. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    Not nice Clown Face!
     
  42. ugafish

    ugafish Not a new member
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    How about you dont allege a specific person is a prostitute and tell us who isnt a prostitute?
     
  43. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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  44. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I have no reason to believe either Emrata or Jessie have ever worked the circuit.

    I'll throw out another one that is so well known that I don't have any issue with telling - Robin Thicke is notorious for having parties with a bunch of girls and giving them all molly, this is while he was with his ex.
     
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  45. ugafish

    ugafish Not a new member
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    His ex was probably hotter than them all.
     
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  46. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Oh she was there also, that was their thing. Apparently he went outside the boundaries at some point hence the divorce.
     
    #7896 Eathan Edwards, Feb 21, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2019
  47. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    I think i just won the thread guys.

    My 5 yr old is recalling what she learned about the civil war in school. When she said the north won, Mrs. Scorpio looks and me and says "wait, did the north win? Is that right?"
     
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  48. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    Yikes
     
  49. PCH

    PCH 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Well, why do I still see the south's battle flag?
     
  50. Brocephus

    Brocephus Well-Known Member
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    I think we’re all winners here.
     
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