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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.
Both of the imgur’s work - or at least they were yesterday.
My wife went to Sam's yesterday to get toilet paper and she spent $200
damn, nearly wiped out the checking account, huh?
That's, what, 2 weeks worth of TP?
speaking of toilet paper, friend of mine texted me this morning to tell me his three year old boy put an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet before taking a shit on top of said roll.
Called dry docking.
Or a lily pad if you take the toilet paper off the roll and make an island for the shit to sit on.
Does this girl ever leave the bathroom? Hot pocket
Not my gf anymore but a hilarious cringe worthy story anyways.
Caught the gf of like 8 months parked over at her exes house one night about a month ago. The ex literally lives 3 blocks away such a dumb whore. So I dropped her like a rock she said a bunch of bullshit about it not being her car there and it was just a coincidence. I'm like k you are physcho and please just leave me alone. I ended up just blocking her on everything and not talking to her. Anyways, about 2 weeks goes by and she emails me says we need to talk and that she's pregnant but don't worry about it the abortion is already scheduled two weeks from now on a Monday. So obviously my physcho-sense is tingling pretty mightily by this point. For the abortion she had to go to a clinic about an hour away from us, said she had to do it by herself or she would never learn from this mistake but she would call me after it was all done. So I should add to the story that the town I live in is surrounded by refineries and chemical plants and because of this they have sirens in the community in case of an emergency. The sirens get tested every Monday at 12:30pm. So she calls me from the parking lot of the 'abortion clinic' around 12:25pm after the supposed procedure was done. While we're talking on the phone you can guess what happened the emergency sirens start going off in the background. I didn't call her on her bullshit because there is literally no point in arguing with a physcho, but just sat there after completely stunned at how a 27 year old woman could pull a stunt on someone like that. Not sure if she's got borderline personality disorder, maybe a bit of a narcissist or is just fucked up from some shitty stuff that happened in her past, anyways moral of the story don't stick your dick in crazy.
I think she crossed that border years ago.
The problem is this. Crazy pussy is also the best pussy.
It's a cruel irony.
It's the best and the worst. It sucks when it takes a couple months down the road for them to actually reveal there true colours, and by that point you're already pot commiteed. Well at least you think you are, but you don't really know what you're commiteed to anymore
I definitely knew it from the get go that she was crazy. It just didn't become "evil" until it was no longer mildly charming/amusing. I always knew I was never ever going to marry her though.
She tried contacting my wife and breaking up my marriage because she found out through the grapevine that my wife was pregnant, while crazy ex was still single.
Yeah. That kind of crazy.
congrats on the new member of your family bignate50
Where ya from, mate?
That was the word that caught your eye. Not “commiteed”? Twice?
Shut the fuck up, Jack. I’m trying to swindle this foreign guy on some Cutco knives and need to gauge the estimated shipping costs.
Yeah I never realized she was truly batshit insane for like 6 months. And at that point it was like oh wow who are you
Call my wife, I’m sure we could use a fucking third set of cutco’s.
I just told her that they're live streaming the launches to space for Amazon prime today.. . Let's see what she says
I was in a 2 year relationship with a crazy woman, I stayed in that relationship 1 1/2 years longer than I should've because of the sex
Been there. I honestly didn't realize just how miserable I was until I got out of the relationship. About two weeks into being single, it hit me. I wasn't stressed out and on edge all the time. I was sleeping like a normal person. It was like a totally different world.
I’m actually the crazy one in my relationship. I’m dramatic and bipolar and passive-aggressive, but my wife puts up with my histrionics because I’m so hot.
Same here but I am just ok looking, it’s the insane sex I give her every couple of hours that keeps us going.
Also should add to the story that since I drove by the other guys house I'm apparently now the biggest creep ever, kinda expected to get that kind of response/deflection from what really happened.
And now I just got an email asking if I was snooping around again (literally 6 weeks after the fact) because a spare house key that was apparently hidden somewhere went missing. That I don't even know exists, where it's hidden or whatever. Yeah sweetheart I'm gonna use the spare key so I can go jerk off on your comforter. Anyways deleted that
Well, did you? And why did you talk about jerking off?
We are not here to judge you
you guys think bignate50 and The Real Roy Williams are related?
Like womb brothers?
Have to move in 6 weeks (will be on the same block just a different building, I’m
not opposed to it as I like the new place more than current).
GF legitimately wants to move a girl in with us - she is hot but good lord at the intellect, I truthfully think my gf thinks other girls are pets.
The girl she wants to move in has thoughts about a lot of things - I will attach some shortly
I believe there are rulez as to what should accompany said thoughts.
At least you don't have to worry about potty training.
I don’t mind at all. Far from it. But I feel like Eathan Edwards uses this thread to humblebrag about his life.
Not at all - y’all will laugh your asses off at this girls attempt to convey her thoughts. Will post shortly.
As long as it comes with pictures I'm ok with it.
I wouldn't be so sure
I almost added "theoretically".
Is it time for a life and times of Eathan Edwards thread?
Nope. His additions and attitude belong here.
Yep - new roomy for sure
Lots of big words. Not so many pictures of said deep sea swimmer and master concurring communicator.
Did she type these thoughts herself?
And why do you want to get to the bottom of the sea first?
I had to put my phone down for a minute after "no matter who thinks they know what your shoes walk like"
Does she enjoy threesomes?
Brains and beauty