Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Both of the imgur’s work - or at least they were yesterday.
     
  2. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    My wife went to Sam's yesterday to get toilet paper and she spent $200
     
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  3. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    damn, nearly wiped out the checking account, huh?
     
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  4. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    That's, what, 2 weeks worth of TP?
     
  5. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    speaking of toilet paper, friend of mine texted me this morning to tell me his three year old boy put an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet before taking a shit on top of said roll.
     
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  6. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    Called dry docking.
     
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  7. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    Or a lily pad if you take the toilet paper off the roll and make an island for the shit to sit on.
     
  8. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    Does this girl ever leave the bathroom? Hot pocket
     
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  9. bignate50

    bignate50 Well-Known Member
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    Not my gf anymore but a hilarious cringe worthy story anyways.

    Caught the gf of like 8 months parked over at her exes house one night about a month ago. The ex literally lives 3 blocks away such a dumb whore. So I dropped her like a rock she said a bunch of bullshit about it not being her car there and it was just a coincidence. I'm like k you are physcho and please just leave me alone. I ended up just blocking her on everything and not talking to her. Anyways, about 2 weeks goes by and she emails me says we need to talk and that she's pregnant but don't worry about it the abortion is already scheduled two weeks from now on a Monday. So obviously my physcho-sense is tingling pretty mightily by this point. For the abortion she had to go to a clinic about an hour away from us, said she had to do it by herself or she would never learn from this mistake but she would call me after it was all done. So I should add to the story that the town I live in is surrounded by refineries and chemical plants and because of this they have sirens in the community in case of an emergency. The sirens get tested every Monday at 12:30pm. So she calls me from the parking lot of the 'abortion clinic' around 12:25pm after the supposed procedure was done. While we're talking on the phone you can guess what happened the emergency sirens start going off in the background. I didn't call her on her bullshit because there is literally no point in arguing with a physcho, but just sat there after completely stunned at how a 27 year old woman could pull a stunt on someone like that. Not sure if she's got borderline personality disorder, maybe a bit of a narcissist or is just fucked up from some shitty stuff that happened in her past, anyways moral of the story don't stick your dick in crazy.
     
  10. Wallcoq

    Wallcoq Miles of D.
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    I think she crossed that border years ago.
     
  11. bignate50

    bignate50 Well-Known Member
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    Uhhh yeah
     
  12. Lefthook

    Lefthook token Oregon State fan
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    The problem is this. Crazy pussy is also the best pussy.


    It's a cruel irony.
     
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  13. bignate50

    bignate50 Well-Known Member
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    It's the best and the worst. It sucks when it takes a couple months down the road for them to actually reveal there true colours, and by that point you're already pot commiteed. Well at least you think you are, but you don't really know what you're commiteed to anymore
     
  14. Lefthook

    Lefthook token Oregon State fan
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    I definitely knew it from the get go that she was crazy. It just didn't become "evil" until it was no longer mildly charming/amusing. I always knew I was never ever going to marry her though.

    She tried contacting my wife and breaking up my marriage because she found out through the grapevine that my wife was pregnant, while crazy ex was still single.

    Yeah. That kind of crazy.
     
  15. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci How can less be more? It's impossible
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    congrats on the new member of your family bignate50
     
  16. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    Where ya from, mate?
     
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  17. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    That was the word that caught your eye. Not “commiteed”? Twice?
     
  18. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    Shut the fuck up, Jack. I’m trying to swindle this foreign guy on some Cutco knives and need to gauge the estimated shipping costs.
     
  19. bignate50

    bignate50 Well-Known Member
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    Yeah I never realized she was truly batshit insane for like 6 months. And at that point it was like oh wow who are you
     
  20. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    Call my wife, I’m sure we could use a fucking third set of cutco’s.
     
    #8370 HatterasJack, Apr 17, 2019
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2019
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  21. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    * psycho
     
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  22. PCH

    PCH 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    I just told her that they're live streaming the launches to space for Amazon prime today.. . Let's see what she says
     
  23. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    I was in a 2 year relationship with a crazy woman, I stayed in that relationship 1 1/2 years longer than I should've because of the sex
     
  24. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins AND STAY OUT OF THE WOOLWORTH
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    Been there. I honestly didn't realize just how miserable I was until I got out of the relationship. About two weeks into being single, it hit me. I wasn't stressed out and on edge all the time. I was sleeping like a normal person. It was like a totally different world.
     
  25. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I don’t cry. I Saab.

    I’m actually the crazy one in my relationship. I’m dramatic and bipolar and passive-aggressive, but my wife puts up with my histrionics because I’m so hot.
     
  26. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Same here but I am just ok looking, it’s the insane sex I give her every couple of hours that keeps us going.
     
  27. bignate50

    bignate50 Well-Known Member
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    Also should add to the story that since I drove by the other guys house I'm apparently now the biggest creep ever, kinda expected to get that kind of response/deflection from what really happened.

    And now I just got an email asking if I was snooping around again (literally 6 weeks after the fact) because a spare house key that was apparently hidden somewhere went missing. That I don't even know exists, where it's hidden or whatever. Yeah sweetheart I'm gonna use the spare key so I can go jerk off on your comforter. Anyways deleted that
     
  28. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Well, did you? And why did you talk about jerking off?

    We are not here to judge you
     
  29. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Same.
     
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  30. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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  31. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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  32. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Have to move in 6 weeks (will be on the same block just a different building, I’m
    not opposed to it as I like the new place more than current).

    GF legitimately wants to move a girl in with us - she is hot but good lord at the intellect, I truthfully think my gf thinks other girls are pets.

    The girl she wants to move in has thoughts about a lot of things - I will attach some shortly
     
  33. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    I believe there are rulez as to what should accompany said thoughts.
     
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  34. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    At least you don't have to worry about potty training.
     
  35. TheGrifter

    TheGrifter It's a trick. Get an axe.

    I don’t mind at all. Far from it. But I feel like Eathan Edwards uses this thread to humblebrag about his life.
     
  36. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Not at all - y’all will laugh your asses off at this girls attempt to convey her thoughts. Will post shortly.
     
  37. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    As long as it comes with pictures I'm ok with it.
     
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  38. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I wouldn't be so sure
     
  39. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    I almost added "theoretically".
     
  40. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    dump likes this.
  41. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Nope. His additions and attitude belong here.
     
  42. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Yep - new roomy for sure
     
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  43. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Lots of big words. Not so many pictures of said deep sea swimmer and master concurring communicator.
     
  44. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    Did she type these thoughts herself?

    And why do you want to get to the bottom of the sea first?
     
  45. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    I had to put my phone down for a minute after "no matter who thinks they know what your shoes walk like"
     
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  46. Baron

    Baron gold chain gang
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    Does she enjoy threesomes?
     
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  47. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member