Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. visa

    visa Well-Known Member
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    ily
     
  2. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    What the fuck
     
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  3. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    she has pretty dark brown hair, and if I remember correctly it took like 3 sessions and included a haircut.
     
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  4. Anison

    Anison Fair and square
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    I wanted to tell you visa was coming too, but was sworn to secrecy. Sorry?
     
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  5. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    I would have come had I known. You guys aren’t a big enough draw but he is. :wink:
     
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  6. Fuzzy Zoeller

    Fuzzy Zoeller College football > NFL
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    "What do you want to eat?"
    "I want Whataburger."
    "I don't want that."
    "Well, what do you want then?"
    "I don't know."

    :angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry::angry:
     
  7. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    They always know what they don’t want....
     
  8. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Like sex, they don’t want that. Unless their sister just had a kid and she also wants one to match that bitch sister


    Just kiddin....maybe
     
  9. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Feels oddly specific.
     
  10. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I added the part about the sister but yeah, she wants it. Wish me luck or a quick death
     
  11. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    Watching a documentary on Magna Carta. A scene is shown of a harbor with seagulls screeching.

    Mrs Fofo: Do you think those seagulls could communicate with our seagulls or do you think it’s in a different language?

    Blank Stare.

    Asshole.
     
  12. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Going on a double date with my GF - her ex GF and her ex-GF’s new GF.

    Obviously I’ve got no stake in the game on any of this in terms of it turning out in any fun/positive way - but 2-3 extra drinks and this situation could devolve easily for the other 3 people here. Last time me and her ex’s Gf hit it off (just conversationally not anything weird) - which managed to semi-upset both my gf and her ex. I remember having the “then what was the objective of all this” conversation.

    Thoughts and prayers and such.
     
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  13. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, no
     
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  14. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    You are good but now I am certain you are lying and I want to kick myself for not seeing it sooner
     
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  15. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    That response was justified after sentence 1 - but en route to sugar fish now (so not even a loud place where constant conversation can be avoided to some degree). Let’s see how this goes.
     
    dump likes this.
  16. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Essaie pas de me bullshitter en français, insulte pas mon intelligence l’ami
     
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  17. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Never - also if I was going to lie I would say the ex and her friend were famous/hot, or something. Nope, just attending a sure-fire weird dinner.

    I came through within 12 hours of my initial Guy post with a Guy Fieri encounter in the wild - this dinner description would be my worst attempt at a brag of all time arguably if it was false.
     
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  18. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Plan b

    I am drunk
     
  19. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    That’s a lot of words to just call bullshit. English truly is the best language.
     
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  20. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    It’s the best language for the simple minded
     
  21. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    I just voted for a northern border wall.
     
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  22. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    That was a terrible answer, could not help it.
     
  23. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Also - the dog is a big factor (my former photo).

    Not sure if anyone else has this situation but her and the ex got a dog together (which we dog-sit pretty frequently) so we have a good relationship - just not sure a double date is exactly ideal for any parties involved.
     
    dump likes this.
  24. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Casually mention the Alabama abortion law.
     
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  25. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Plan c

    I am drunk
     
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  26. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I’d end up stabbed with a chopstick within seconds.
     
  27. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    At the end of our long day and 6-hours of driving, we pass a moving theatre coming into town. We start discussing Aladdin and the controversy around casting and she says, “it’s weird they couldn’t find Mexicans actors.” When I giver her the dumbfounded looked she tried to insist she knew Aladdin wasn’t Hispanic (my wife is probably half Mexican FWIW).
     
    #8677 NoNatty, Jun 2, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2019
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  28. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Nothing overly interesting at dinner, however:

    Server used the phrase: "best thing since sliced candy" at one point during the meal.

    I just don't know how to move forward after that.
     
  29. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK You wanna know what I been down , DONT BOTHER ME
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    Sliced bread...
     
  30. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    nous ne sommes pas connard québécoise, parlons anglais
     
  31. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    After asking her don’t give suggestions and get what you want. That’s how I broke my wife. She now communicates what she would like to eat instead of a “no I don’t want that.”
     
  32. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Québécois, unless you are referring to me as a woman...which would be tough but fair
     
  33. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    I think it applies to all Des quebecois.
     
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  34. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Shots fired
     
  35. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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  36. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Or the formal (and refined) cajun I grew up around - "dem quebecois" s'il vous plait
     
  37. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I want to visit Louisiana so bad, would love to go fishing over there.
     
    Eathan Edwards likes this.
  38. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    this.

    this problem permeates too many couples. Make a choice or watch me drive through a place I want and order. I asked you for your opinion, the clock is ticking.
     
  39. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    You guys ain't gunna believe this shit

    Buys new fucking bag today at the domain
    Drives like 5 miles to fucking olive garden
    Back window of her new fucking suv busted out, and guess where the God damn new bag was?

    I have so much fucking rage flowing right now I cant even see straight
     
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  40. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I'm glad I stopped for beer on the way home
     
  41. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    Time to invest in about half a dozen good knock offs. Or a divorce lawyer. Or cocaine.
     
  42. burnttatertot

    burnttatertot butt tuck zoomies
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  43. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I'm positive someone followed them around the mall and to the restaurant

    Only thing taken from several bags of shit
     
  44. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    you should throw her in the trunk and drive around a little until she understands it
     
  45. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I can guarandamntee you she ain't never buying another real purse
     
  46. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    And she never once thought to use the little privacy cover that pulls out to cover the back?
     
  47. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Ohh no, she did, that's why I am pretty sure they had to of followed her from the parking garage
     
  48. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    1) Does she have a substance abuse problem?
    2) Move somewhere safer
    3) Why the fuck do you eat at Olive Garden if you can afford multiple $1k+ purses?
     
  49. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    Seriously. Should've sprung for Carraba's.
     
  50. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    You ever hear the saying, “You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole?”