Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    A little trick I have learned in those situations is answer with another question to probe for danger level. They usually just start talking again which is what they wanted to do in the first place...tell you what they think.
     
  2. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    This man fucks, or used to fuck
     
  3. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    “David, we need to talk” means she needs to talk and I need to listen
     
  4. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    When it starts like this my mind is racing, I either need a reservation to a great restaurant she likes or a cheap ass motel room for my ass to sleep at.
     
  5. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Wife started a conversation like this the other evening and it turned out to be telling me how her and her SIL have been talking about us getting together for a road trip this summer and how they decided they want to do it in a rented motorhome and how that rented RV would be cheaper than driving and staying in ~$100 a night hotels

    Quick google search tells me renting a motorhome big enough for us (plus one child) and them (plus two children) will be about $750 a day for a vehicle that gets less than 10 mpg

    Her vehicle that we can all fit in together for said trip gets about 20 mpg
     
  6. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Luckily my BIL literally never takes more than one day off of work at a time and they are terrible about following through on plans for anything more than a quick weekend trip to somewhere a couple hours away, so I can just let this one rest and dont have to explain actual dollar figures to her
     
  7. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    They have no idea how things cost, I am going to Chicago with the gf just
    For the fuck of it and hotel rooms are paid by my company, we will pay half of the plane tickets together since the other half is also paid by the company, I already paid 300$ for 2 cubs ticket and she is still bitching about having to change out some American money for coffee and shit when I might not be around. She is pretty thankful so I can’t really complain but the whole thing shocked her, it’s like she thought it would all be free
     
  8. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    My response would be “BITCH, WHO’S DAVID?”
     
    blind dog, Champ, bertwing and 12 others like this.
  9. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Doing a 12 hour drive home and it's my wife's shift on the interstate. Send prayers
     
  10. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Also diapers
     
    BlazingRebel, ARCO, dump and 3 others like this.
  11. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    We just changed WiFi carriers from spectrum to ATT - so she had to run through this with the tech just now. Think both of us had forgotten it was set up that way.
     
  12. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Florida Gators

    the run-away is still crashing? does she have a job?
     
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  13. kinghill

    kinghill Well-Known Member
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    is it common for women not to know how to properly close the tops of things like tupperware and everything, or is it just the women I date
     
    a.tramp and blind dog like this.
  14. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State Wildcats

    My wife never puts away leftovers or eats them so I cannot answer this riddle.
     
  15. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    No - we’re back to domesticated life. She’s on to better and brighter.
     
  16. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 We’re going to need details, copious details
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    cocaine the answer is always cocaine
     
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  17. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 We’re going to need details, copious details
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    [​IMG]
     
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  18. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 We’re going to need details, copious details
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    The OG use to be Freakness’s favorite restaurant but now she’s bougie and pretty sure she’d scoff at going there....I miss the good ole days
     
    #8768 TheFreak55, Jun 18, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2019
  19. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 We’re going to need details, copious details
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    [​IMG]
     
  20. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Any time I put on headphones to listen to music, it's instantly 20 questions time. She started packing her bag in the hotel so I throw on my headphones since she has her music playing. Immediately:

    BFF: (gesturing wildly so I'll remove headphones) We can have pills in a carry on, right?

    Me: Yep. Just no liquids over 2oz.

    2 minutes later

    BFF: (waving) So are Tums okay too?

    Me: ....yeah

    Shortly thereafter:

    BFF: (waving)

    Me: (visibly annoyed yanks off headphones)

    BFF: Whats your problem?
     
  21. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Every.fucking.time
     
  22. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    Should have just waved back and turned around.
     
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  23. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Everybody just shut up! Shut up, Lutz!
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    [​IMG]
     
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  24. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    My wife is in HR, sent her this pic:


    [​IMG]

    Her: Is that a serious thing? They are supposed to be checked by a company annually and we are supposed to check those monthly and I always forget.


    :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:
     
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  25. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    upload_2019-6-28_10-28-44.jpeg

    Yep, needles to day indeed
     
  26. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Did you take a picture of that?
     
  27. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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  28. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Got in a bit of hot water. The lady bought me some sunglasses she liked that I hate. I have a good pair and have had them for over a year. She ask about them weekly. I tell her I keep them in the car and wear them often when I drive. I don’t. Well we were going somewhere the other day and she looked. I had forgotten to take the damn sticker of the son of bitches. I was obvious I’ve never warm them. I will take the asshole comment for lying.
     
  29. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State Wildcats

    Claim it's a new fashion trend like keeping the sticker on hats.
     
  30. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Does she also dress you?
     
  31. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Came in hoping to see some Ethan edwards house guest titty. Ended up with a post which seems to be from Roy's goofy girlfriend finally admitting what happened those days when her phone went dead.
     
  32. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Florida Gators

    haha.

    *wait, did you know he was back posting?
     
    #8782 941Gator, Jun 28, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2019
  33. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Oklahoma City Thunder

    Weird. I just opened this thread for the first time in a long time. Fortunately nothing like that has happened since. Hopefully it never will. We’re good. I haven’t had a drink in 2 and half months which is a really big deal for me. Looking back I shared a bunch of dumb shit when I was drunk. Oh well.
     
  34. angus

    angus Well-Known Member
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    I think this is the most coherent post of yours I've read.

    And I'm going to miss the former.






    But good for you.
     
  35. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    Happy for you man, that's awesome
     
  36. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I wasn’t sure if Instagram was like Snapchat where it told the other person you had recorded their content.


    So pretty much.
     
    Champ, BlazingRebel, AaronCE and 5 others like this.
  37. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Didn't even know he had stopped posting tbh.
     
  38. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    I’m currently in Austin Tx. 964 miles from my wife. My daughter is in Wichita Kansas, 1038 miles from my wife, both by find my iPhone. Wife texts me I should go see Daughter cause she’s only about an hour away. 74 miles to be precise. Seriously happened.
     
  39. captbunch

    captbunch Fan of: Texas Tech, Texas Rangers
    Donor TMB OG

    As the crow flies
     
  40. Luka

    Luka I’m 100% That Bitch
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    It is
     
  41. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    This is just fantastic.
     
  42. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State Wildcats

    Why is she in Wichita. It’s a terrible place.
     
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  43. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    Driving from Idaho to Home.
     
  44. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint It's like the Weimar Republic in that place
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  45. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Living that 2 dimensional life
     
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  46. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    More like zero understanding of Geography and trigonometry.
     
    Homo Erectus likes this.
  47. lfriend

    lfriend Well-Known Member
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    This somehow reminded me of something from a few years ago.

    Took the wife out for hibachi and she was pregnant at the time so she ordered like someone that just got away from being deserted on an island.

    She gets her leftovers in a to go box and has them put some yum yum sauce in the sidetray area. Whatever.

    So I'm driving home and she starts flipping the fuck out because she can't find her phone. I tell her don't worry, we'll look for it when we get home because honestly if she left it at the restaurant it's gone for good.

    Going without Facebook for possibly multiple minutes just wasn't doable so she starts moving the leftovers to search furiously and she didn't properly close it so the shit opens and fucking yum yum sauce spills onto the carpet.

    As I'm basically yelling what the fuck are you doing I hear, "oh guess it was in the pocket of my jacket this whole time!"

    Spent forever to get that shit cleaned out and she never even touched the goddamn leftovers. She never does.
     
  48. Houndster

    Houndster Ball don't lie
    Staff Donor

    To be fair, that’s my favorite part of having a significant other
     
  49. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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  50. Nandor the Relentless

    Nandor the Relentless Former Leader of Al Quolanudar
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    :ded: