Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Known Member
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    Me: The Braves game doesn't start until 10:00 because they're in San Diego

    Wife: Oh, I guess they want to play it really late because it's so hot out there.
     
  2. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
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    Idiotville, Population 3
     
  3. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Known Member
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    As the mayor, I hope you treat her kindly.
     
    devine, One Two, -Asshole- and 2 others like this.
  4. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    West coast best coast
     
  5. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit But the second mouse gets the cheese
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    She will be fine

    [​IMG]
     
    Crepeswithasmile and Degausser like this.
  6. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Lol
     
  7. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Recently moved and obviously our furniture cannot work in a different place. Listed this coffee cart that my wife said cost her $100 for $50. Instantly got a lot of offers and got rid of it.

    Checked her email on a whim and saw she bought it for $400.
     
  8. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    This is my life.
     
  9. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    The lady pulled me aside to pay me the $125 (I undoubtedly got fleeced on another piece of furniture) and told me that she told her husband it was all $40.

    We're all losing this game of monopoly women call life, fellas
     
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  10. GGCD

    GGCD The most wasted of days is one without CUM
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    Had to call out an HVAC guy because some days we'll wake up and it's 86 degrees in our apartment, some days we'll wake up and it's 54 degrees.

    I have been setting and resetting the thermostat to 69-71 degrees every week. But still we'll wake up sweating or freezing.

    It turns out that whenever Ms. GGCD is cold.....she sets the thermostat to 86 degrees, which is the max.

    When she is hot, she sets it to coldest temperature on the thermostat, 54 degrees.

    I explained to her that the thermostat is literally always set to 69-71 degrees and will stay there as long as she doesn't fuck with it, but still we're waking up in frigid and sweltering temperatures.

    This happens at least once a week and I'm beginning to think I'm capable of murder.
     
  11. texasraider

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    10 years of marriage and my wife still doesn’t understand how a thermostat works
     
  12. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK Hard to be soft , tough to be tinder.
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  13. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    I'd get this and never look back

     
  14. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Known Member
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    God, this is infutiating. Luckily, my wife and I match up well on temps. She hasn't touched the thermostat in the 4 years she's lived with me.
     
    JeremyLambsFace and dump like this.
  15. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Formerly MK3rds
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    Fiancee is English and so a/c isn't really a thing she thinks about so she never thinks to touch it
     
    devine likes this.
  16. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    My wife is always cold if any form of AC is on no matter what its set at so she uses a blanket.

    Wife: Honey, I'm cold
    Me: Its 74°, we are not fucking turning it off.
    Wife: I'm just going to grab a blanket(pouts)

    Her happy range is like 76-80° & she complains about anything in either direction. Inside or out
     
    #8916 Homo Erectus, Jul 20, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2019
    AaronCE, NineteenNine and dump like this.
  17. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Jealous of you guys operating at 71 and shit. Power costs here are ridiculous and if I want to keep my bill under $400/month in a one bedroom apartment in the summer I keep my AC on 78.
     
    Wallcoq likes this.
  18. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    At least you know it's because she's dumb and it's not some insane thermostat randomly running cold and hot air.
     
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  19. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    I can’t sleep unless it’s 71 or lower and I have a fan in my face
     
  20. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    B67F4925-D5B9-4534-B66B-45DC2ADC684D.jpeg
     
  21. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State Wildcats

    For the past year my wife has been unable to figure out how to use an ATM. This means she's used her credit cards several times to make a cash withdrawal, and each time I jump on her and tell her to use her debit card. I've even used her debit card at an ATM to prove it works. She had to renew her car tags yesterday and the company only takes cash. Her new sticker cost $62 and naturally she only had $60 which means she had to face the dreaded ATM again.

    She comes home and tells me "hey guess what I figured out why my I could never use the ATM. I've been using my USAA credit card instead of my USAA debit card."

    :killme:
     
  22. Luka

    Luka Roll Tide what? FUCK YOU!
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    and she’s a doctor

    :gross:
     
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  23. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    You can't renew online?
     
  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State Wildcats

    I dunno maybe. The place is just down the road so it's not that bad to go in person. WA/my county uses a private company to administer it.
     
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  25. GGCD

    GGCD The most wasted of days is one without CUM
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    GF likes to come home and complain about work every day. She just got a promotion and she's working pretty insane hours so she's complaining even more than before.

    GF: "Ugh, I worked from 5 AM to 6 PM today. How many hours is that?
    Me: "That's 6 hours."
    GF: "That's at least 10 hours.....[does some mental math]. That's ELEVEN hours!"
    Me: "Are you sure about that?"
    GF: [Starts counting on her fingers]
    Me: [Walks out of the room]

    Don't worry, she's not an accountant.
     
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  26. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
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    She had just worked 13 hours and was obviously mentally exhausted, asshole!
     
    blind dog, bertwing, Goose and 13 others like this.
  27. GGCD

    GGCD The most wasted of days is one without CUM
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    If I asked her what one half plus one quarter is she wouldn't be able to do it without a calculator, and even then it's dicey.

    She can't do math regardless of her mental state.
     
  28. NP13

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    Maybe she just had a 2 hr lunch
     
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  29. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Last night, mine told me she's been working like "8 hours /day" the past couple of weeks and is so tired.

    *It's been 10/11 hours/day.
     
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  30. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Don’t tell her that or she’ll suddenly be super tired.
     
  31. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    We live 10 miles from town and the wife parks in a locked garage. Brings her keys inside every night after work and puts them in roughly 14 different random places.

    Fast forward 14 hours.

    "WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KEYS!!!!???"

    Idk, leave them in the car so they're there in the morning? Seems like an easy fix.
     
  32. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    congrats on the stolen car
     
  33. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    I have a friend of mine whose wife leaves her keys in the car, outside, in the middle of a fairly large town. Its a Lexus. She literally leaves it in the center console and never takes it out. Blows my mind.
     
  34. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    In Arkansas? Thieves are surely not the sharpest of thieves
     
  35. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    Worse, Dallas.
     
    dump and IHHH like this.
  36. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    Ol' Operation Arctic-Sahara. It's awesome. So in an old office at my old place of employment the women would always turn up the thermostat to like 75-80 and cause everyone to sweat. So when the upgraded the hvac system in that building the put in a dummy thermostat for the women. Actual temperature was controlled electronically at 70 year round. They'd adjust that dummy thermostat then say it feels great and didn't even know the difference.
     
  37. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    Forgive my lack of grammar/spelling. I'm off work for 2 weeks and drunk already. Next up is brisket tacos :lick:
     
  38. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
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    That is incredible
     
  39. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Wow. What subdivision?









    Got an address? .....shooters shoot.
     
    Rabid likes this.
  40. fish

    fish Impossible, Germany
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    On hot night's in Texas you're never getting down to 71. Typical HVAC can only cool your home about 20 degrees.
     
    southside likes this.
  41. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    Currently at 68 :smug:
     
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  42. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Its amazingly common
     
    Ty Webb likes this.
  43. HuskerInMiami

    HuskerInMiami Well-Known Member
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    My wife took my car yesterday and this morning I'm hot as hell.... Temp was set to 81 and heat warmers were on. I don't get it.
     
    #8943 HuskerInMiami, Jul 26, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2019
  44. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    We had one at my old office. Facilities guy basically said the same thing when I asked about it. They have one that does absolutely nothing so people won't bother them about it and when it has to be changed they do it from another unit that requires tools to adjust
     
  45. HuskerInMiami

    HuskerInMiami Well-Known Member
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    Mine complains that she works way too much and "can't do laundry because she is too busy".
    Schedule:
    Mon-Thursday 9-4 with a one to two hours lunch each day depending on office.
    Saturdays 9-1. She works MAX 30 hours/week
     
  46. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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  47. Nandor the Relentless

    Nandor the Relentless Former Leader of Al Quolanudar
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    At my old job, I'd have weeks where I'd put in that many hours in like 2.5 days.
     
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  48. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    share what
     
  49. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Hence the name Nandor the Relentless
     
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  50. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    I've hit 40 hours by wednesday many times during budget, acquisitions, audit etc. My wife's friend was telling us she has been working crazy hours lately which turned out to be 9 - 5:30. We both stifled a laugh