Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
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    but it would be better for you when Trump gets re-elected and a Civil War happens
     
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  2. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Why not just ask for cash, checks, or Venmo/PayPal? Then no one is taking a cut.

    Also fuck anyone who gives gift cards.
     
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  3. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    Plus all that sweet, sweet free healthcare.
     
  4. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    She had to take my keys tonight and was confused why I had a rape whistle on my key chain
     
  5. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    i have that same usb stick
     
  6. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    *rape whistle
     
  7. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Men can get raped too. Why she being sexist? :crossedarms:
     
  8. CC

    CC Waiting for moments that never come
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    While we were in Italy a local guy was explaining his small town's summer tradition where there are lots of fireworks. As he was trying to find the right words to translate the name of it to English, she blurted out "Fourth of July?!"
     
  9. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    I guess tmb isn't above man rape shaming even in these days...
     
  10. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    Honeyfund....

    That is what I am using.

    https://www.honeyfund.com
     
  11. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    She bought this for the bathroom. It should be an emogi
     
  12. AaronCE

    AaronCE Swoll Member

    The little known cologne variant Sex Leopard?
     
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  13. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Mrs. Scorpio: Did you buy a bunch of shirts or something?

    Me: Yeah, bought some UF and Bucs polos

    Mrs. Scorpio: You spent over $400!

    Me: I regret nothing
     
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  14. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    Take it to the ‘Stupid Shit Hank Scorpio Does’ thread.
     
  15. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins Hey where you goin’ with those clubs punk
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    In this scenario, she’s the reasonable one
     
  16. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Jesus fucking christ
     
  17. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I hope you got the jorts to go with the Florida jerseys
     
  18. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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  19. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    $400 on shirts that are limited in use (games, golf, etc) is not the move.
     
  20. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Team polo's are perfectly acceptable friday work wear
     
  21. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Shit I wear polos around the house if they are really comfortable.
     
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  22. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    This is TMB. Of course it is.
     
  23. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    In my defense:
    1. I bought most of the shirts in 2 different sizes (online order) because their fits vary wildly depending on the brand (and even within brand) imo, so half of what she saw on the statement is being/has been returned
    2. I wear them to work most days, so they get a lot of use.

    In reality, it's closer to $200-250
     
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  24. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    How many shirts will you actually keep if you keep one size of each shirt?
     
  25. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    8
     
  26. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Sounds like you got a good deal to me then given these are licensed sports polos.
     
  27. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
  28. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    I have to work this morning which means taking care of the kids by myself will be next to impossible. She just *had* to go to yoga at 9:30 to relax after a long and stressful week.

    Left at 9am
    Got some coffee at Starbucks
    Yoga
    And a Whole Foods charge about 5 minutes ago

    I’ve been working all morning with bored and frustrated kids while her 60 minute yoga class has been a 2.5 hour excursion with stops for coffee and snacks. Today is the day I get divorced.
     
  29. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Need an update on this
     
  30. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK You wanna know what I been down , DONT BOTHER ME
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    My wife does this type shit all the time .
    But my kids are older and she always naggin me while I’m on the golf course!
    Think I’m gonna block her number when I play ...
     
  31. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Not much to it. She came home, I bitched at her, she took the kids for a while, and I grabbed lunch by myself. I’ve been married long enough to know to pick my battles. I’m not digging my heels in on something like that.

    If I pitched a fit every time she did something that pissed me off (or vice versa) then we definitely would be divorced.
     
  32. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    That's 3, maybe 4 shirts
     
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  33. Billy King

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    Not my girlfriend but last night JeremyLambsFace's wife slobbered all over my dick because she thought it was a t bone steak
     
  34. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    [​IMG]
     
  35. HotMic

    HotMic PopTart Mascot Enthusiast
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    [​IMG]
     
  36. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    Billy is lashing out because I told him some hard truths about how truly terrible he is.
     
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  37. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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  38. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
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    #9038 DaveGrohl, Aug 19, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2019
  39. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    smart man. that kind of selfish shit annoys the shit out of me. but you are absolutely right to handle it the way you did.
     
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  40. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    billy you are a thief of joy
     
    #9040 Tobias, Aug 19, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2019
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  41. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Been married for two months. She and I don’t share s bathroom so it was just today that I discovered she goes through a roll of toilet paper a day. WTF?
     
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  42. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    You don't share a bathroom?
     
  43. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    How could they if his wife never leaves the shitter
     
  44. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    She has 10 bathrooms she could shit all day
     
  45. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Why is someone’s penis shaped like a T? Why is Marbles wife shitting 8 hours a day? We’ve got questions that need answers
     
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  46. THEBLUERAIDER

    THEBLUERAIDER Well-Known Member
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    My wife and I don’t share a bathroom or a closet. It’s glorious.
     
  47. Roy

    Roy Well-Known Member
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    Is this where Billy bitches about everyone getting "offended" too easily because his jokes are lame?
     
    #9047 Roy, Aug 19, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2019
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  48. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    We are same. It’s so nice.
     
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  49. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I just sat down for the first time this evening since getting home from work because I am cooking 10 briskets tomorrow night for a benefit for one of her friends children, and I came home and immediately started getting shit ready, then I was watering the area where my big smoker is gunna be parked since its dry as fuck here, and the fucking faucet pipe broke
    I get everything shut off and dug up and thank god I have the fittings I need to fix it

    About an hour into that, wifey walks out and says "can you come inside for a minute? "
    Ok, I'm muddy as shit but whatever
    She then proceeds to tell me her ankles are swollen and that could mean she has congestive heart failure or maybe renal failure and she really wishes I would come inside and sit with her and rub her feet

    I told her it could also mean you have been busting your ass doing stuff on your feet the last 5 days or so (like she has) and that her body isnt used to that. She is a stay at home wife who decided to take on helping a friend clean a couple of houses, then went on a deep clean spree of our house for some reason.

    Tells me she really wishes I would reach out to my friend the heart surgeon and ask him about her swollen ankles.

    I told her she really needed to sit back in the recliner with her feet up

    She responded to that asking if i thought she should go to the ER


    I just got done fixing my busted pipe, and filling the hole etc
    I have heard vaccuum and shit running the whole time I am out here

    I may sit here in the driveway drinking the rest of the night
     
  50. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Ohh, and I still need to finish setting everything up to cook tomorrow