Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    Do not hurt the dog
     
  2. jonbenetramsey

    jonbenetramsey Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    Kids are sound asleep at 8pm last night

    Wife is too tired for sex

    But absolutely has the energy to wake up at 6am and run 13 miles

    Married life
     
  3. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    She was only too tired for sex with you
     
  4. jonbenetramsey

    jonbenetramsey Well-Known Member
    Donor TMB OG

    lloydchristmaswellyeah.gif
     
  5. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    This isn't something stupid my wife did, but more of a follow on to my car situation. She started negotiating with the dealer on a car. Price was silly, so I texted her the invoice price and what a fair trade in amount would be. The salesman huddled with his manager to get a better price.

    Came back with the same price, removed the warranty she never asked for to begin with, and added the incentive that should have been applied from the start :laugh:. I can't imagine having to haggle as a woman
     
  6. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
    Donor
    Colorado RockiesDallas StarsArsenalTiger WoodsSneakersDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    A bit Newcastley. #magpies
     
  7. Ralph

    Ralph Well-Known Member

    I saw what it was like to be on the other side today. Misplaced my keys for the first time in forever:

    Her: What's wrong?
    Me: I can't find my keys.
    Her: Well, where did you put them?

    I'm saving that line for next time.
     
  8. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Have had friends walk out of dealerships when that crap happens
     
  9. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    And you never look back, I would laugh out of the building

    I know a few people in the business and it is incredible how unprofessional some dealerships are. They pray on stupid people and make it their business pretty much. They never last though
     
  10. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    She did, but I'm still kind of shocked at the audacity. She bought from a different place this morning at the right numbers.
     
  11. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
    Donor
    Oklahoma City Thunder

    I think I should have a free pass forever if I misplace something. She is so bad about it. I had to go search the yard with a flashlight the other day for her keys.
     
  12. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysNational LeagueAvengersBarAndGrill

    The Honda and Toyota dealerships are walking distance from each other in my home town. I got a good price on a Camry from my dad shopping dealerships around the state online. Took it into the local dealer and they agreed to match it. I then walked over to the Honda place and said if you can beat this price I’ll buy an Accord right now or if not I’m buying the Camry.

    Sales guy did that shit so I got up and walked back to the Camry dealership. Guy chased me across the parking lot on the phone with his manager yelling counter offers. He never beat the price. Bought the Camry.
     
  13. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State Wildcats

    But now you drive a Toyota with their stupid cruise control stick.
     
    texasraider likes this.
  14. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Surf Wyoming
    Donor
    Wake Forest Demon DeaconsDenver NuggetsWyoming Cowboys

    Going camping tmrw for 3 nights on Maui. All we need is a hammock, towels, and a couple pair of swim suits. I fit all of it in a small backpack with room to spare. Got distracted for a few minutes while I was packing and suddenly this materializes in the living room:

    32D14BFC-B5C0-4202-9EC6-FD255796ED43.jpeg

    :killme:
     
  15. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins AND STAY OUT OF THE WOOLWORTH
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTiger WoodsGrateful Dead

    Don't worry, you'll be the one carrying it
     
  16. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    You should go with your dog and leave the woman home
     
  17. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    Twice the fun half the price.
     
    BlazingRebel and -Asshole- like this.
  18. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State Wildcats

    I overpack for trips. Dgaf
     
    wes tegg, Tobias and One Two like this.
  19. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Surf Wyoming
    Donor
    Wake Forest Demon DeaconsDenver NuggetsWyoming Cowboys

    Of course I am, she can’t even lift it out of the car.

    Good thing we booked multiple campsites!
     
  20. Snakes

    Snakes I slept with Elaine last night
    Donor TMB OG

    My wife had her purse stolen at the daycare drop off while she was taking my kids in.

    A car pulled up and someone opened the side door and took out her purse. They then proceeded to attempt to steal her identity by going into banks with wigs and wreaking all kinds of havoc. They took someone else's check they had stolen and deposited into our account, then took cash out of that deposit. So it looked like we essentially stole the money from the other victim. They did that at 2-3 different banks across the state. After talking to other victims (local police no fucking help whatsover) we figured out it was the Felony Lane Gang and they operate all over the country. There is even a Facebook task force and it was actually pretty interesting.

    In the end the only money we lost was all the new makeup my wife had (got) to buy. I couldn't even be mad at her because I would guess most people leave their car unlocked when running in with their kids. I know I typically did.
     
    PCH, dahldennsull, LetItSoak and 3 others like this.
  21. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersChicago CubsChicago BullsDetroit LionsChicago BlackhawksTiger Woods

    It's a good thing you always took your purse with you.
     
  22. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    there isn't "the" felony lane gang, like "the crips." Felony lane gang is just a label they put on groups of people going on sprees while traveling. It's a category. They operate all over the country the same way people drink and drive all over the country lol. The media tries to make it seem like 3 girls in Missouri are related to a group of 4 guys in Miami. Source: my office has about 6 felony lane gang cases right now.
     
    BlazingRebel, PCH, PAHokie and 14 others like this.
  23. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    They're generously helped by the city of Atlanta's catch and release policy towards minors.

    Then again Atlanta's had a lady who's been arrested over 80 times and is still allowed back in the community to squat in a neighborhood so we may be a little lax on small crimes that add up over time.
     
    captbunch likes this.
  24. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    can't give a life sentence for a charge that doesn't carry life.
     
  25. Snakes

    Snakes I slept with Elaine last night
    Donor TMB OG

    Interesting. Their method seemed fairly consistent so I assumed there is at least some organization.

    https://www.facebook.com/FelonyLaneGang/

    They target daycares and parks, they use a male to snag the purse and a female to go to the bank with their ID cards, and they use the IDs to create new accounts and commit check fraud. That seems a little more specific than comparing drinking and driving.
     
  26. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Every month my chick has to call Verizon for hours on end to pay our phone bill - we did the business plan and switched from AT&T to get the new iPhones roughly a year ago and since then we have been unable to set up autopay and also unable to even access the account online.

    I think she has received something like $2500 in concessions over the course of the last year instead of them just allowing us to access the damn account and set up autopay. Pretty sure they also don't even have an email to where you can have a paper trail of their miscues.

    The phone calls are hilarious though.
     
  27. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Very sure I didn't say that. But it's led to a noticeable uptick in those minor crimes like car break-ins.
     
  28. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    I (mis)read "back into the community," as why is she being let out. I was just giving a literal answer.
     
  29. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    There's one guy with Verizon that she gets into blowup arguments with pretty regularly. I thought she was out of her mind but I've now heard it on speaker a few times and the guy is a kind of a demeaning asshole.

    "Why can't you give me an email? You're a billion dollar company that can't give me an email address to contact customer support. Thank you for letting me know you're recording the call because I'm recording it as well, STEVEN!"
     
  30. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    941Gator likes this.
  31. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    months later and a search warrant will get served and the guy will have 40 different debit cards that will all be previously declined cards thus connecting him to all the burg's and poss. of unlawful ID's etc. So naturally, I ask him why he didn't throw them out and it's because they attempt to get a second bite at the apple after people sort out the bad charges. I'm not sure that makes complete sense because a new card will have at the very least a new expiration date and sec code number.
     
  32. Snakes

    Snakes I slept with Elaine last night
    Donor TMB OG

    Yep. We talked to one woman that had them take a crack at the bank account again 2 1/2 years later! that's why we changed banks completely.
     
  33. Watasha

    Watasha Well-Known Member
    Donor

    We just bought a house. We’re replacing the carpet with wood flooring.

    Her: “hey what’s the square footage of our bedroom?”
    Me: “I just measured it and it’s 16x22”
    Her: “yeah but what’s the square footage”
    Me: “...”
    Her: “...”
    Me: “multi...”
    Her: “oh yeah I got it”
    Me: “you’re so pretty”
     
  34. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Overpacking is stupid. If you're not bringing casual wear you can fit a weeks worth of clothes in a well designed carry on. Was in Canada for 7 days and didn't need to check a bag. Its so much easier.
     
    #9134 Homo Erectus, Aug 27, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2019
    Lifeiskilingme79 likes this.
  35. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
    Donor
    Florida GatorsAvengers

    Since last Wednesday I’ve been Vegas, LA, and tonight I head to Portland. All carry ons, and don’t get home till Friday. 1 dry cleaning and laundry service mid trip.
     
    Willpépé, One Two, bigred77 and 2 others like this.
  36. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    why? and how many purchases?
     
  37. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
    Staff Donor
    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksMississippi Rebels

    Dick move, IMO. Agents don't have anything to do with underwriting. :twocents:
     
    BlazingRebel and Baron like this.
  38. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
    Donor
    Florida GatorsAvengers

    Work, and zero purchases sans food. Was commenting on the packing without having to check baggage.
     
  39. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I may have referenced this before - but the Mrs. wants a (either Timor or Burnett's) wallaby and to move into a place with a yard etc.

    She now has scheduled a hearing with the fucking city of LA that I have to attend to justify our status as some form of certified wildlife expert.

    My inbox this AM: (important wallaby certification details). I'm definitely going to attempt to not let this come to fruition but if it does any of the LA members are welcome to support me at the Wallaby hearing.

    I'm not sure if I blame Yale or Florida more in this instance - it's almost a perfect combination of a shitshow.
     
    #9139 Eathan Edwards, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
  40. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I got approved for a wallaby while at Ole Miss and was in commutation with the breeder in Dallas etc, so this isn't completely unprecedented - it's just not every day you wake up at 12am to an email needing to you to address wallaby logistics.
     
  41. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    Secondarily - who was the poster that had to go to court due to his gf/wife feeding stray cats?

    That was probably my favorite TMB post ever and I couldn't find it when trying to show it the Mrs just now.
     
    One Two, wes tegg and dump like this.
  42. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    She has a Burnett's wallaby (Scarlett) she likes so I guess this is actually happening.

    So if Fidelio Daniel Ocean etc want to attend my hearing with the California department of fish and wildlife- this is going to occur apparently.
     
    #9142 Eathan Edwards, Aug 29, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019
  43. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysNational LeagueAvengersBarAndGrill

  44. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    Is there a land/property amount requirement?
     
  45. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    I hope you address the council like the two chads they show videos of. “word up City Council!”
     
    electronic likes this.
  46. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

  47. Fidelio

    Fidelio meet me at the corner of my mind
    Donor
    Tool

    I’ll come dressed as the Joker
     
  48. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    Eathan Edwards likes this.
  49. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
    Donor
    North Carolina TarheelsNotre Dame Fighting IrishAtlanta BravesDetroit LionsBarcelonaSneakers

    It's like Eathan's Modern Life in here.

    [​IMG]
     
  50. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles KingsSneakers

    Dibs on Harley Quinn
     
    Fidelio and Eathan Edwards like this.