damn. Had the flu a few weeks ago. Didn't get out of bed other than to use the bathroom/shower for three days. Didn't eat anything the entire time either. When I finally feel well enough to eat, I am absolutely starving. Wife says she is going to go out and get me food after running a quick errand. She comes back with food 3 hours later...
As soon as she mentioned having to run a quick errand you should have just door dashed something. Nothing with women is ever quick.
Oh I knew I was screwed. But at that point I was delirious from not eating for 3 days so the thought of using door dash never even crossed my mind.
You order door dash it comes , she says “ why did you order door dash , I would’ve got it for you “ yea right whenever it fits your schedule....
Have never heard that phrase. But I think the appropriate response would be “at least the man flu doesn’t come once a month”. Yeah, that would definitely work.
As a recent flu sufferer myself, I can relate. Worst thing was I came down with the flu the first day of a difficult trial. It took every ounce of energy I had to get to court each day and I barely made it through with fevers, chills and muscle aches all day long. So when I would get home my wife banned me from going upstairs and I was relegated to a small corner of the couch prepped for me while at home so as not to infect her or the kids. Fine, I get it. However, she got so strict on it that she would yell at me if I even got up just to pour myself some water or charge my phone. She demanded that I not leave the couch for anything other than using the restroom or showering. Like, not even access to the TV remote because I would taint it with illness, so she required me to ask her to change the channel for me or raise the volume. By day 3, she’s bitching at me for being ungrateful that she’s doing everything for me. Meanwhile, that’s a function of her own requirements. I was more than happy to help myself with basic tasks while being otherwise relegated to a confined area. WTF?
Pharmacist to my wife “aaw he has man cold” Pharmacist #2 “And if she was sick you wouldn’t hear about it”
The man cold/flu is based on the belief that men act like they’re dying when they get a case of the sniffles.
Should try complaining about every ache and pain around them. It goes over even better than a cold or flu.
Ah yes, men can’t complain about not feeling well but we’re supposed to put up with their monster side for the 5 days before their period because we just don’t know how it feels.
Make sure to point out it could be mostly a cultural problem and not a biological one. She'll understand. https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate....be-a-cultural-syndrome-not-a-biologic-one.amp
At least I wasn’t accused of exaggerating. One night I got home from court and passed out on the couch. She heard my breathing in my sleep and actually contemplated calling 911 because she thought I was going to die.
Minding my business doing the dishes and she comes in: Her: I know you're depressed and want to be left alone *proceeds to hover around me silently for next 5 minutes
yikes, both my wife and i would kill each other before it ever got to that. It reminds me of my dad's kitchen. every drawer is stuffed with golf tees, change and gum wrappers. It's like he just empties his pockets in the first drawer he can find.
My wife once suggested I take a new job because she was jealous of my schedule and wanted me working an 8-5 to make her feel better. I just started doing everything around the house so now she doesn’t complain.
Change talking to high school kids about SoundCloud rap and fashion to college football message boards and that is half this board.
The wife and I got into the most ridiculous argument over the weekend about which movie we should watch On Demand with the kids. She has a habit of saying no to virtually every suggestion as after the kids and I complained she just blew up at me randomly and turned it into a “let me tell you all the things that you’re difficult about” argument. Everyone went to be bed angry and no movie was watched. Yesterday I was driving my 12 year old daughter home and mom’s meltdown came up as a topic. I asked her if she thought mom overdid it, and my daughter basically endorsed that mom totally overreacted. But the kicker was that she said totally unintentionally, “Mom is awesome, but it seems like once a month she has these episodes where she freaks out over nothing.” I start laughing hysterically, and when my daughter connects the dots she says, “Oh God I hope I don’t get that way when the time comes.”
Yes, yes he is. i have 13 and 16 year old stepdaughters and they both start about the same time as their mom every month. I have to imagine that's what it's like being in prison constantly having to be mindful of your surroundings bc you just don't know when shit is going to pop off and who's carrying the shank.
There's only one female in my household, but to make up for that her times of the month last for 28 days.
i got home from work last tuesday night and asked them all where they wanted to go eat dinner, and somehow that turned into a huge argument between the 3 of them because of course they all had different suggestions. i ended up going out to the garage, getting high and eating pizza rolls by myself as i sorted through a bin of probably a thousand or more nuts, bolts, screws etc. and put them into smaller containers based on size.