Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. electronic

    electronic Moderately-Known Member
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    Marrying another human being without living together first is life malpractice.
     
  2. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Imagine people that get married without even having sex beforehand.
     
  3. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    I know of a guy who didn't even kiss his gf/wife until the ceremony in the name of God and respecting her body. Absolute lunacy.
     
  4. Celemo

    Celemo Frogs Are Bitches
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    when I moved in with the future Mrs. Celemo, at the time we were just friends/co-workers. I had just gotten out of a 2 year toxic relationship and needed a place to stay. She was currently living with another female co-worker and they had an extra bedroom and we agreed to split all bills 3 ways. The day before I moved in, Mrs. Celemo went to Oregon with her immediate family to visit the rest of the family in Oregon for Thanksgiving week. On Thanksgiving, Mrs. got drunk to work up the courage to tell her family that her new "boyfriend" moved in with her (totally unbeknownst to me) Apparently they took it really well, my parents gave zero fucks because they didn't want me at their place so hooray.
     
  5. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby A good poster that wont whiff away while driving
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    We’re so close to giving wes tegg another aneurism. Catholics, check. Premarital sex, check. Preserving the V-card???
     
  6. ashy larry

    ashy larry marcy projects, son
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    when i told my fil about proposing he gave his “blessing” and then told me he wanted me to be the spiritual leader in the household. it was super awkward and i honestly don’t remember how i responded. then she moved in with me and all hell broke loose.

    we considered joining our neighborhood Unitarian church. they have a big float in the pride parade every year, have a dope vegetable garden, and a BLM sign out front. get good vibes from them. we told my fil we were looking to join there and he basically said that would be worse than not going to church :laugh:
     
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  7. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Pfffft
     
  8. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    You’re fired from the spiritual leadership role buddy. Lol.
     
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  9. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby A good poster that wont whiff away while driving
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    Ive been named interim spiritual leader and associate husband of ashy larry ‘s household
     
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  10. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    Get that shit sorted out please.
     
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  11. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    My youth pastor did this. He said it was to prevent temptation. Like god forbid your girlfriend turns you on or something.
     
  12. ashy larry

    ashy larry marcy projects, son
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    but he gave her to ME
     
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  13. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Thread makes me think I won the in-law lottery
     
  14. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Most of the guys & girls I knew who were holding out for marriage were the first to get married of everyone i grew up with
     
  15. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    100% this
     
  16. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby A good poster that wont whiff away while driving
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    Listen man, I’m just a program rebuilding hired gun like Nick Saban. I come in, restore the marriage spirituality to its former glory, and bolt in the night 15-20 years later.
     
  17. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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  18. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    My (future at the time)FIL drove hours without telling anyone and showed up at my job to grill me about my plans for his daughter.

    Just turned around and there he was. Wasn’t terrifying at all.
     
  19. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Uhhh fuck that.
     
  20. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    You guys are seemingly cool with a lot of inappropriate behavior from in laws
     
  21. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Something something really good pussy something.
     
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  22. JeremyLambsFace

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    I maybe spoke to my FIL like 4 times before I got married
     
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  23. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    I liked reading all these stories on this page but reversed the genders in my head. Celemo's was definitely the weirdest with the genders reversed
     
  24. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Well-Known Member
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    I'm so glad there's no religion in my fiance's family, lol.
     
  25. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    My most recent ex was the same as this. It took years before they were willing to accept her moving into the house i bought. We broke up about 4 months after and I suspect she still may not have told her parents as she is officially soiled now. Never really effected me directly as they didn't speak much english and i think they were just happy someone was willing to take their psycho daughter off their hands.
     
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  26. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Not really cool with it but what choice do you have? It's usually easier to just deal with a little bit of nuttiness a few times a year as opposed to making a situation.
     
  27. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    and then extend to the cultures that still practice arranged marriages. Its uncommon but not unheard of to not meet your spouse in real life prior to the wedding.
     
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  28. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Fighting with your inlaws is a very fast way to becoming single. I just go with the whole "that is interesting" and nods. Then we can go back to ignoring their suggestions once we leave.
     
  29. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    My wife's parents didnt know we lived together for a long time before we got married. Her family here didn't tell them bc "they're old fashioned and it was none of their business."Her family here is awesome.
     
    #10979 Homo Erectus, Jun 22, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2020
  30. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Known Member
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    Neither my parents nor my wife's gave a shit when she moved in with me because they aren't lunatics.

    My in-laws are pretty much everything I could ask for though. Have a standing tee time with my FIL and two BILs every Sunday morning.
     
  31. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue This is my avatar, Asshat
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    More tales from the crypt.......
    Same in laws haven't told their extended family that one of my SILs has 4 kids, like to the point of not allowing family pictures or outings to be put on FB. The first 2 were by a married guy (she's a piece of work) and those children don't even exist to a huge portion of their family. Not because of being disowned or whatever, but on account of being hidden. This is largely her devout mothers work, and it's a fucking long con too. One of the kids is almost 13. This is psychotic, right? So weird. I wrestled with talking to FIL about marriage, but after the not so subtle pamphlet debacle, I didn't even ask. Crazy people.
     
  32. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    holy shit. that's bonkers.
     
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  33. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    You guys are making me feel great about my in-laws.
     
  34. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    upload_2020-6-22_16-12-4.gif
     
  35. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    :welpseeyalater:
     
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  36. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Purely for religious reasons? I guess I get it if you're really devout and believe it, but it seems miserable.
     
  37. lfriend

    lfriend Well-Known Member
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    In laws are annoying Trump lovers, but they at least knew I was plowing the shit out of their daughter and didn't really seem to care.
     
  38. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    How old were you on your wedding day?
     
  39. Cooler

    Cooler A mans gotta eat
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    My in-laws don’t speak the best English, but can still have a convo with them. They’re pretty awesome actually. Just strict about weird things.

    We had a traditional wedding with suit and dress, but we also had a tea ceremony before that in traditional Vietnamese clothes. Basically dresses. Totally fine with it bc if you get the chance, marry into a Vietnamese family. Give you so much fucking money as a wedding present.

    My MIL also makes us a ton of homemade Vietnamese dishes that we take home.
     
  40. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Is SIL hot?
     
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  41. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    I'd be in just for the food.
     
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  42. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    Between this thread and family during the holidays we could make some flow charts.
     
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  43. RSK

    RSK Well-Known Member
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    That would basically just be Sterling A
     
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  44. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue This is my avatar, Asshat
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    Not at all. She's may not be obese by definition, but she doesn't miss it by much. The whole situation begs belief. She is now married with two more kids from that guy. Can't imagine who the in-laws say the older kids are if people ask.
     
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  45. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    You avoided a lot of red tape bs by not having the wedding in a Catholic Church
     
  46. Lefthook

    Lefthook token Oregon State fan
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    When I moved in with the future Mrs. LH who is 4 years younger, she was the cousin of my roommate whom I had been good friends with since high school. She had just passed her RN exams and was taking a job on Pill Hill (at the VA), so we split rent 3 ways. I used to make jokes to my buddy when we were in college about his jailbait cheerleader cousin because there was a picture of her up in his hallway and she was super cute. Almost a decade later, I married her, lol.

    When I talked to my inlaws about proposing, they said "well ok, but we just want to get to KNOW you better".

    Mind you, I knew the family for over a decade, I had been a groomsman in their niece's wedding. They lived in Salem and I still saw them 3-5 times a month for dinner. Edit: And we had been dating for almost 2 years.

    They have boundary issues.
     
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  47. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Literally the only thing I miss
     
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  48. Lifeiskilingme79

    Lifeiskilingme79 Well-Known Member
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    My buddy rented and furnished an apartment that he didn't live in for when his parents came to visit so they wouldn't find out that he was living with his girlfriend. Mind you, he lived 5 hours away and his parents only came to visit once or twice a year.
     
  49. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby A good poster that wont whiff away while driving
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    Tmb sharks, I’m asking for $250k for 5% of my business, ParBnB. It’s a timeshare but we go in a few days before your parents get to town and put up pictures of you and your girlfriend
     
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  50. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    damn, too bad Airbnb wasn't around back then for 1 weekend a year.

    that said, he may have used this apartment for his side strange haha