Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, that sounds fishy.
     
  2. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Formerly MK3rds
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    Me: *playing Total War and just obliterating people with spears on a bridge*

    Wife: why can't you play nice games where the objective isn't to just kill everyone?

    Me: hun i think you fundamentally misunderstand the gaming industry
     
  3. Majic44

    Majic44 you probably don't even hear it when it happens
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    mess playing Warzone the other day and my fiancé’s cousin asked what I was playing. When she told her what it was her response “well that’s really morbid”
     
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  4. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    The last few pages

    upload_2020-6-23_20-32-36.gif
     
  5. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    God fucking dammit every goddamn time
    1593264835293587849127592528591.jpg
     
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  6. Nandor the Relentless

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    I don’t get it
     
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  7. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    My wife decided to mention she’d like me to put fertilizer down at 10am when the heat index was already over 100 degrees. I looked at her like she’d lost her mind.

    I am now sitting inside in the glorious air conditioning watching my wife put fertilizer down.
     
  8. NP13

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    You're gonna pay for that
     
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  9. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    The Mrs. is now doing workouts every morning at 6am on a zoom group with several other girls.

    So every morning I wake up to a cacophony of female banter, EDM, and a workout instructor barking orders.
     
  10. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    you know what a pain in the bottom it is to have to pick apart a tight AF square knot every time a guy just wants a damn bagel?
     
  11. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Overhand Knot.
     
  12. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    [​IMG]
     
  13. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    scissors
     
  14. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    there’s too much saturated fat on these bagels anyway, you should not be eating them
     
  15. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    As I’ve mentioned before, my wife is perfect outside of one pet peeve of mine. She has no concept of time, nor does she give a F if you do. We’re late, or rushing to make it in time, to anything that involves her. Our friends used to purposely invite us to everything 30 minutes early so we’d make it on time.

    Anyways, my in-laws are visiting from out of state this weekend, and her and her mom left at 10 to “get pedicures and stop at one store”. I had a few things to do so I asked her not to be gone all day. “Oh no, a few hours tops” she said.

    I just sent her a text at 3:30 to see where she was. “LOL we decided to go to the casino! We’re leaving soon though, and after we stop at the store we’ll be home!”.

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Would infuriate me.
     
  17. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Good thing there’s not an airborne virus out there right now...
     
  18. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Mine isn't quite this bad with time but I always tell her that if we need leave to be somewhere in 20 minutes on short notice it takes her 30 minutes to get ready. If she has 3 hours to get ready it's gonna take her 3 hour and 10 minutes to be ready. I've never seen anything like it.
     
  19. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    i am irritated right now and I have nothing to do with this situation
     
  20. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    HotMic, I feel you have earned a free day tomorrow to

    :parrot::parrot::parrot:

    treat yoself
     
  21. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    I’ve become acclimated to it. If she didn’t have so many other great qualities, our relationship definitely wouldn’t have got this far.
     
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  22. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    This sounds like an excellent idea.
     
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  23. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    upload_2020-6-27_16-33-55.gif
     
  24. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    Is it common knowledge that dishwashers have filters? Because I clean mine about once a month, and this was apparently an absolute revelation today.
     
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  25. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Yes
    And don't be surprised if she puts the filter on the rack of the dishwasher to clean it with the dishes next time she runs a cycle
     
  26. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    uh what
     
  27. billdozer

    billdozer Well-Known Member
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    We clean ours out when we remember to.
     
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  28. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    SIL is at the house. I text my wife asking what’s wrong with her because she seems sad.

    me: why is your sister moping around the house?
    Her: at least she’s finally doing some chores over here.
    Me: that’s mopping
    Her: mopping isn’t a word
    Me: ...
    Her: fuck me.
     
  29. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    that might be the most counter productive discussion of all time, unless you learned why she is so sad
     
  30. Cardeja12

    Cardeja12 Well-Known Member
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    Moping or mopping?
     
  31. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    She was moping and my wife thought that mopping was spelled moping
     
  32. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia slowly learning that life is ok
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    wait my dishwasher has a filter?
     
  33. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Wait, was she cleaning the floors or not?
     
  34. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
  35. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    Guys the SIL was moping

    wife thought I meant she was mopping

    I never got an answer about why she was moping

    my floors are dirty
     
  36. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Whenever I see a dishwasher reference in here I both long for the day I actually have one and dread it at the same time.
     
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  37. The Hebrew Husker

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    In my experience the dishes just get left in the sink to let stuff dry on them. So I end up getting the best of both worlds.
     
  38. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    Not ALL dishwashers have filters. Some have what is functionally like a garbage disposal on them to help dispose of the food bits. But yea, I think most of them do.
     
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  39. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Formerly MK3rds
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    I was 31 when I learned they had filters just because I was required to clean it before I gave my rented dish washer back.
     
  40. Celemo

    Celemo Frogs Are Bitches
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    Texted the wife tonight ”let’s have a Toy Story night, you can get your Buzz on, I’ll provide the Woody and I’ll sing you’ve got a friend in me

    Mrs. Celemo thought I wanted to watch Toy Story with her :facepalm:
     
    #11040 Celemo, Jul 7, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2020
  41. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby A good poster that wont whiff away while driving
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    Team Mrs Celemo
     
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  42. Celemo

    Celemo Frogs Are Bitches
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    She really is the best for putting up with my shit
     
  43. HuskerInMiami

    HuskerInMiami Well-Known Member
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    Late to the weddingfest, her my wife’s parents didn’t come to our wedding because they didn’t approve. Wedding was a fucking ball. Open bar w Top shelf the whole night. Pretty sure my parents went extra hard on the fun aspect just to rub it in her parents face.

    everyone that went appreciated it. My wife is still bummed about her dad not walking her down the aisle. her family finally realized I’m somewhat loveable and they have slowly come back into our lives (at my wife’s approval ).

    Backstory: they were never mad at me per se, more mad that my wife bought a dog in a house they bought for us in Florida. We obviously couldn’t get rid of a puppy golden retriever , so I then bought us a house and wife kind of ghosted her family as a fuck you and they blamed me.
     
  44. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    A lot going on here
     
  45. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Maybe you should have specified which one of her friends that you wanted inside of you? :idk:
     
  46. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    wait, they got mad that you got a dog?

    WTF. Why?
     
  47. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    imagine not walking your daughter down the aisle over a very good boy
     
  48. HuskerInMiami

    HuskerInMiami Well-Known Member
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    Ya it sounds so insane. My wife went to a therapist for this shit and she spent two sessions trying to get the therapist to believe she wasn’t BSing.

    She’s from a small town and family didn’t want to lose control. So when we moved they tried to still control her life(bought us a house) and didn’t want us to get a dog even though we already had one.
     
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  49. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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  50. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    I'm absolutely fascinated here.

    How small of a town?

    Where do they live?

    How did they think buying you a house granted them control?

    How else did they exercise control?

    How exactly did these conversations over the dog go?

    When you got your own place, how did that go. Did you move out and hand mail them the keys?
     
    AaronCE, Dump, blind dog and 6 others like this.