Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby A good poster that wont whiff away while driving
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    Are you calling miles a liar?
     
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  2. Houndster

    Houndster $25 Standard Unit
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    Merely pointing out how poignant and relatable early 2000’s ABC programming was
     
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  3. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Just found a $250 charge on our CC. It's for Christmas card photos that we're taking in late November.
     
  4. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    Beat the rush.
     
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  5. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    When my wife uses google maps for directions she only looks at the text and never the map itself.

    "Is this my turn?"
    "I dont know it just says right turn in 100 feet"
     
  6. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    Another one!

    Yesterday she leaves at 1:45 to go pick up a few things for our 5 YO’s b-day.

    I finish mowing the yard, drive to my parents 45 minutes away, drive back home, take my oldest to soccer practice, come back home with the younger two and play with them an hour or so. At 6:15 she sends me a text to say pizza is being delivered for supper. I ask her if she’ll be home soon because I still have a few things I need to do before it gets dark.

    “I hate it when you rush me, I wish you wouldn’t do that :( “


    [​IMG]
     
  7. ButchCassidy

    ButchCassidy Well-Known Member
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    She was at her boyfriend's house, aka my house.

    Boom, roasted!
     
  8. blind dog

    blind dog #1 Ladycock fan
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    Our internet has been fucked up for over a month. We've had so many service calls where they put a band aid on it, will work for an hour or so and goes back out. They keep closing the tickets so when you call back you get bumped to the back of the list. I've been very close to going on a killing spree of Windstream technicians (we live outside of city limits and cable internet not available it sucks). I've also spent countless hours on the phone with tech support. They came out Wednesday and guy did something I knew wasn't going to work and I asked him to not close ticket. He did anyway and when I called after it went back out 30 minutes later they said they couldn't come back out until next Friday. I absolutely lose it and go all Karen on them and finally get to a supervisor who assures me someone was coming next day around 4. At 5:30 no one has shown up and so I call and sit on hold for 25ish minutes. My wife is walking in the door just as they finally answer phone and says "Windstream guy is here." I was like thank god and hang up phone. I go outside and there is no Windstream guy at our house. For some fucking reason she thought the clearly labeled air conditioner repair van parked in my neighbors driveway was going to fix my internet. Had to call back and sit on hold for 20 more minutes to get someone on phone. Wife said today I owe her an apology for snapping at her bc she didn't tell me to hang up the phone.
     
    #11108 blind dog, Jul 31, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2020
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  9. HotMic

    HotMic Mr So-and-So
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    I knew I recognized that taste!
     
  10. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Wife got our 18 month old some black and white striped pjs. I hear her tell him that he's gonna look like jailbait

    :deerstandnotkneel:
     
  11. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    I’m sorry for you, I really am. Lesson, never hang up, ever. Also short of blowing a dude they’ll never not close a ticket. Just won’t happen.
     
  12. blind dog

    blind dog #1 Ladycock fan
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    On the bright side I *think* they actually fixed it this time. Have had internet for 24+ hours now. That hasn't happened since June
     
  13. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    Hey guys, Willpepe blew a cable guy once.
     
  14. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby A good poster that wont whiff away while driving
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    Willpépé has power in one hole and light in the other
     
  15. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
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    Thanks for the blow job!
     
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  16. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    The wife has put a child lock on our apple tv to where I can't change the the channel or use the tv at all.

    It is literally a playlist of Nastya Nass twerking the whole time, I have no ability to change it.

    I'm almost bored of it at this point. But I do admire the creativity.
     
    #11116 Eathan Edwards, Aug 1, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2020
  17. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    Maybe the child lock wasn't put on there to keep the kid off after all.
     
  18. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I have yet to solve it - so congrats Apple for your difficulty level.
     
  19. Willpépé

    Willpépé Miles of D.
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    Who said once? I didn’t even get into free HBO.
     
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  20. petere1588

    petere1588 Well-Known Member
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    Wife was at work and asked if I would bring her lunch from Panera..We have a 1 year old so it would give us something to do. She orders it and just says I can park in the curbside pick up spots and they will bring it out.

    I get there and it’s an absolute zoo, lunch time on a Friday. I park in the correct spot and wait awhile. Someone comes out, asks for the last name, I tell them. Another 10 mins go by and they come out again, ask for the name again. I tell them, they go back inside. It’s going on a half hour now. Text the wife they can’t find the order. Baby is going crazy in the back seat because we are just sitting there going on 30 mins. They come back and tell me they can’t find it and what was the order.

    I call my wife and ask what she got since I had no idea...I tell her they couldn’t find the order. She is telling me what she orders and right in the middle she says.. Oh! Check under my maiden name! I ask the gal at my car window about that last name and the order comes out in 30 seconds as it’s been sitting there 40 mins now.

    We’ve been married for 8 years.
     
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  21. Ralph

    Ralph Well-Known Member
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    On a somewhat similar note, yesterday was the second time in the last few months that I found myself driving to Kroger to pick up our Clicklist groceries. Which in and of themselves wouldn't be noteworthy occurrences, if they weren't immediately preceeded by driving to Kroger to pick up our Clicklist groceries (the other Kroger in a different part of town that my wife thought she ordered them at).
     
    #11121 Ralph, Aug 1, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2020
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  22. blind dog

    blind dog #1 Ladycock fan
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    My MIL gets every kindle book offered for free and never reads any of them
    0947C945-DDAA-4B4E-B4AB-D3ACF6ADFA18.png
     
  23. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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  24. HuskerInMiami

    HuskerInMiami Well-Known Member
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    My wife has a new hobby every week or two. Couple weeks ago was sewing, before that it was indoor plants, before that gardening. So we have a new sewing machine and all the shit that goes with it.

    I realized yesterday she had a new hobby. Making candles. I looked at her amazon account and she’s spent just under $200 on candle making kits in the last week. Most are the same materials. I calmly asked her why she kept getting kits. “Well... some have scents I like that I can’t find anywhere else. And also I need the pellets that make the candles”

    cant you buy that shit individually ? How many tin pots and wicks do you need for a hobby you’ll get bored of after you make your first fucking candle?!?
     
  25. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint 13 beers and a bad taste in my mouth
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    My wife has always been in hospitality so obviously she’s out of work and we live in AZ so the market is shit with very poor near-term prospects.

    Her new hobby is crocheting. Pumpkins. Blue pumpkins.
     
  26. HuskerInMiami

    HuskerInMiami Well-Known Member
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    Sounds cheap and time consuming. You’re lucky.
     
  27. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Dude. Yarn is fucking expensive.
     
  28. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint 13 beers and a bad taste in my mouth
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    It could be worse, yes.

    She wants stems for them and buying stems from craft stores is, surprise, not cheap.

    Told her my parents in CT can send us some tree branches.
     
  29. Gallant Knight

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    Feel like this isn’t that weird?
     
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  30. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Eh, maybe. It’s not something I would ever do.
     
  31. Gallant Knight

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    I need another example of something he did
     
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  32. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Depends on the context. If they are in the middle of a conversation on weight loss and such it's probably not weird. Randomly sending your SIL your shirtless weight loss pics is pretty weird though.
     
  33. Joe Withabee

    Joe Withabee PS I have sifulus
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    You're an islander though, shirtlessness is more normal. Landlocked people in the central US it's goddamn weird
     
  34. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Panera is terrible fresh, can't imagine 40+minutes later improving it
     
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  35. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    It sounds like you've got it all wrong. Her hobby is wasting money.
     
  36. Gallant Knight

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    If she’s spending ~100 a week on her hobby what’s the problem?

    I definitely spend more than $5,200 a year on golf
     
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  37. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Excuse me, that's a sport, not a hobby.
     
  38. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Formerly MK3rds
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    Eeehhhhhhhh maybe if you’re in your 70s and the act of walking to and from a go kart to swing a club is what finally causes your heart attack it could be considered a sport. Until then it’s an activity.
     
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  39. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Formerly MK3rds
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    *watching umbrella academy

    me: So I’m still not sure how the Russians got main battle tanks from Russia to Dallas in a few days. Like you can’t really fly that many tanks from place to place.

    BFF: couldn’t they have driven from Russia to Alaska? Isn’t there like a land bridge?

    me, after staring for a few seconds: not for about 10000 years
     
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  40. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Ever heard of the Antonov?
     
  41. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    My license expired and I couldn't get it renewed in time for the trip due to COVID so I'm riding passenger for some pretty dangerous routes in a large SUV with MLS behind the wheel.

    PCH and the 1 were stressful enough just getting to Carmel with absurd fog the whole way and it's only getting worse from here with the road to the sun and glacier national park. She's not a bad driver or anything but I feel like I'm one rogue squirrel crossing the road away from being driven off a cliff at many junctures of this voyage.

    I may just wear a blindfold for parts of this and hope for a quick and painless demise.
     
  42. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Fuck you
     
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  43. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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  44. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia slowly learning that life is ok
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    I’m getting unreasonably triggered by this
     
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  45. Cooler

    Cooler A mans gotta eat
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    You didn’t get your license renewed before a cross country trip? Is she driving the whole way now bc if it? This is kind of a stupid shit bf did instead imo.
     
  46. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    He probably can’t get it renewed.
     
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  47. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    I have a valid ID, just not a valid driver's license. So I can still do anything/go anywhere other than drive.

    I definitely would have canceled the trip if I had no legal identification.
     
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  48. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member

    "going-to-the sun-road" - apologies.
     
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  49. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    MLS
     
  50. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia slowly learning that life is ok
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    just be aware, as tspa mentioned, that it's closed on the east end. You can drive as far as Rising Sun - almost to the end - then you'll have to turn around and go back to West Glacier and head east on Hwy 2. It's 3-3.5 hours of pure driving, plus stops for the views, pics, hikes, etc. Well worth it though. Just got back from there on Saturday.