i made a little joke but if she did have access to my phone this conversation could not happen because I would be dead but also she would’ve made fun of how small my dick looks like before she starts playing with it
Do not drive in Auburn, Alabama then. Odds skyrocket with Chipper>Jeter significant other. Would make Alabama’s championship odds look bleak
My daughter inherited her driving skills from my wife. A couple weeks ago she back into her friends rear bumper and buried the trailer hitch into it. I had to get a jack and lift the back end of her vehicle up just to separate them. This is her second accident so she has a long way to go before she catches my first ballot HOF bad driver wife.
My wife literally doesn't follow anything on TV shows. Half the time shes on her phone paying attention and the other half of the time she apparently doesnt have the cognitive ability to process the events in front of her. We are watching blacklist and she has literally no fucking idea what is going on. It almost makes watching tv unenjoyable.
Just started a new series and it’s different but similar. I get asked numerous questions regarding plot and what will happen. Like how the fuck do I know, I’ve watched the same 14 minutes you did.
So I asked my wife Saturday if she had today off, and she said she didn't know. She went in to work this morning to find nobody else there, emails me that yeah, I guess I have the day off. She owns the company
Wife: can I pee? me: I don’t know, can you? wife: real funny, dick. I’m asking if I can use the toilet when the electricity is out
And the answer is no if you’re on a well. Well you can, you just need to fill the tank with water if you have jugs of water saved up for this specific use.
Very much on the lighter end of the spectrum compared to some itt but my MIL is a bad texter/emoji user. Example from #snowpocalypse earlier:
My dad at least 1,000x growing up: Mom: why are they doing ______? Dad: have you seen this movie before? Mom: No Dad: me neither
This is the fucking worst. She doesn’t really care about movies and TV. She knows I do so she tries to do it with me. It’s always “lets watch something we can both enjoy” which means I don’t get to watch what I want and she just fucks around on her phone and doesn’t pay attention.
The worst is when the wife picks something to watch that only interests her and then bitches non-stop that you are looking at your phone the entire time.
All of this. My wife has also formed the terrible habit of pressing pause and asking me questions about the what we are watching, usually due to her checking her phone and missing something that happened.
All this and .... “ hey let’s watch this together “ 18 minutes in .. I’m goin to bed . then mad bc I watched all the seasons . Oh and she tries to close caption that shit .
I had them on when watching Dark on netflix and just never turned them off. Got used to them and find it pretty surprising how often they come in handy.
Shawn, you sure do spend a lot of time in this thread to not share any stories. Hit us with one about your last girlfriend.
Wife is in the kitchen at the sink while I'm working on my laptop Wife: You need to put the dishes in the dishwasher, no leaving dishes in the sink. Me: There aren't any dishes in the sink. Wife: Yeah but you left them in there the day before Me: I know, and then I put them in the dishwasher. There are no dishes in the sink right now Wife: Yeah but I'm just reminding you again so you don't get in the habit. Me: (couldn't do anything but SMH and laugh)
Pretty sure there would be zero arguments in this household if she didn't use her phone in the middle of important parts of movies/tv series.
Team I was anti-CC cause I thought they were for old people, then realized every TV show I watch has English accent and I can’t understand them team. That, and with surround sound the effects are 100x louder than dialog.
one of the greatest posting backfires in board history when a thread that is kind of primed for it determines your misogyny is just wildly too far, you've fucked up
If that post happened today, I would’ve gotten 1,000 likes on my posts making fun of him. I was on a heater.
I have a tip for the dealing with the BBC pains ... My receiver has a night mode setting that boosts the center channel that I use 100% during british shows
I’m not sure how people can enjoy television with closed captioning on. I spend 100% of the time reading and 0% actually watching.