My younger son had pink eye last week. Now I have pink eye. Wife: I’m horny and want some adult time after the kids go to bed. Me: Ok Wife: But you need to hit it from behind because I don’t want to look at your goopy eye. Me: Did you just say “hit it from behind”? Wife: What’s wrong with that? Me: Nothing. I just wasn’t expecting Left Eye in the bedroom. Wife: The pink eye is in your right eye. Doesn’t matter. 10% chance I still have sex.