Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Saw this alert come in through email and immediately thought of Hoss as well
     
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  2. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    You are a silent partner

    also you won’t be getting paid
     
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  3. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Am I a dick vampire now?
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    She has her conceal carry license but doesn’t carry. Her dad made her and her sister get them when they were in college.
     
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  4. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Well she’s obviously a very responsible gun owner.
     
  5. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Shut the fuck up, Doug. You fucking skunk
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    Counterpoint: A firearm shouldn’t be included in this constant game of “where is it” at your house
     
  6. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Am I a dick vampire now?
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    I’ve posted it in this thread and the family members thread but not only does my wife do the hide and seek thing but my mother in law and my own mother do it. If I set a glass on the counter and turn around I do not know if it will be sitting on the counter or if it will be in the cabinet I got it out of.
     
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  7. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Am I a dick vampire now?
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    Agreed
     
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  8. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Shut the fuck up, Doug. You fucking skunk
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    Hoss: Honey, where’s the .357 magnum?

    Mrs: I don’t know, the dog had it earlier
     
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  9. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    And didn't even hit up his new Wyoming partner - smh
     
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  10. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    In which way - I feel like there are a plethora of routes here

    Wife wants me to order for the table at all times and boy is it an efficient way to live life.

    I'll take the financial hit to avoid an awkward first 20 mins of dinner and a staff that will judge me for the remainder.
     
  11. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    In her defense it is a hunting dog
     
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  12. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Yeah smh blind dog we could be having groupies with pornstars get it together
     
  13. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    I've been to PR before but wife hasn't.
    Next winter I'm going to go down to British Virgin Islands with a couple of buddies. One's got his sailing license and goes every year.
     
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  14. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    She will be furious if she sees this lack of respect on her name. MLS is, I guess what she has fully committed to.
     
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  15. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    maybe she put them in her purse so you don’t get drunk and leave them at Waffle House
     
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  16. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    I told you that in confidence
     
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  17. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    USVI and BVI>>>>>>>>>>>>> PR
     
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  18. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Well yeah, he was Russian as fuck, for sure. He grew up religious, and of course that’s going to only get cemented further when you’re put through a mock execution and spend 4 years in hard labor, with only a Bible to read. There is no denying his absolutely insane writing talent, though.

    Brothers Karamazov is the second best book ever written behind Don Quixote :twocents: , and both are arguably the most influential works of literature in the modern era (Don Quixote being entirely inarguable).

    Tolstoy can fuck off.

    Also, I wish that Gogol had finished all of Dead Souls, or at the very least not burned the second part, before deciding he was just going to simply die.
     
    #13668 soulfly, Jan 5, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2022
  19. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog
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    My wife every time she flies: “how much is the bag allowed to weigh?”

    me: 50 pounds, the same as always.
     
    #13669 Connor Norman, Jan 5, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2022
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  20. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    both ??
     
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  21. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Yes, which is some bullshit
     
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  22. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    Luckily your neighbor works there and you could just suck his dick for dinner.
     
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  23. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    If she is like my wife, she has full access to look at the accounts, but lives in constant fear that one will be denied due to NSF or over credit limit or some shit
     
  24. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    It was a quickly planned trip and found cheap airfare. The high is 14° here tomorrow so almost anywhere is >>>> the midwest.

    Also Vieques is pretty nice fwiw.
     
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  25. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Can you impersonate me well enough so I can just have you discuss this with my wife and I can watch NFL highlights and drink a beer is really the critical question here.

    Over the phone - before you get any ideas.
     
  26. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    I was at grocery checkout and realized no wallet.
    Apple Pay saved me.
     
  27. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    I had to write down my card number and have bartender enter it in on their computer. That card number is 100% going to be stolen now
     
  28. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    I have a friend from Louisiana that’s basically me on steroids (but instead of steroids, it’s actually coke). So yeah, probably.
     
  29. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    This is me with my wife and any and all Imperial units of measurement. We now have a conversion chart magnet on the fridge
     
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  30. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Not a PCI compliant transaction.

    And I have learned that one the hard way.
     
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  31. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Doesn’t matter, got food
     
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  32. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    The perfect way to prepare for this role doesn't exi.....
     
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  33. CoastalOrange

    CoastalOrange Well-Known Member
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    This thread is so much fun to read but, holy hell, does it make me not want to ever get married.
     
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  34. HotMic

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    It’s 53-57 every time too, isn’t it?
     
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  35. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog
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    At least. One time it was 66
     
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  36. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Just don’t marry an idiot. Ez pz
     
  37. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    It makes me appreciate my wife most of the time.
     
  38. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Yea, I’ll take her not getting a Die Hard reference every day of the week over having a loaded gun put to my head
     
  39. Snakes

    Snakes stubbornly litigious
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    The true spirit of this thread is posting mildly annoying, maybe even cute or funny quicks that your S/O have. Hoss took it in a dark direction.
     
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  40. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Me too. Although I reserve the right to change my mind if she ever starts saying za
     
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  41. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Lo siento
     
  42. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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  43. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Fify.

    My favorite is still the poster who's bff rear ended him and pushed him into another car.
     
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  44. Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Dr. Mantis Toboggan Well-Known Member
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    If it helps my wife has not crashed into our house or pulled a gun on me. I also haven’t been stabbed by her.
     
  45. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    The year is young.
     
  46. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    annoyingly you can weigh the bag at home. It’ll be 49 (too close for comfort) and be 55 at airport
     
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  47. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog
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    I have gotten miles of use out of our luggage scale.
     
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  48. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    I feel airlines weigh 3-5 lbs high to gain revenue

    trick is slide your toe under the scale and lift slightly


    Used to use the skycaps outside and $20 and they’d tell me to lift until it hit 50 and he’d hit go.
    Apparently being outside now is too dangerous for covid.
     
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  49. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog
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    In my experience most will just let it go if it’s 2-3 pounds over.
     
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