Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    53 recently. $130
     
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  2. CharlieKellyReturns

    CharlieKellyReturns Well-Known Member
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    One thing my wife does: Doesn't put shit away. Tampon wrappers on the floor by the trash can. Bend the fuck down and put them in the can.

    Many an item has had to be thrown away because she'll get up and make a bottle for the youngest during the night and leave the milk on the counter. Once she left the entire fridge open and it burned up the fridge trying to cool itself all day and ruined all the consumables. Drives me nuts.
     
    #13702 CharlieKellyReturns, Jan 6, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2022
  3. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    i jam pack my luggage for work trips and it still ends up weighing like 43 lbs wtf are these broads packing
     
  4. Kylebw1

    Kylebw1 UNC ACC Champs
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    Their “products” are heavy
     
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  5. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Everything. Literally everything. Mine had the equivalent of a full size checked luggage to stay one night at a hotel locally for my work’s christmas party. Apparently she needed “options” so she had 3 outfits several shoes etc for what was a ~4 hour event.
     
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  6. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Same for mine

    We've gone on week long road trips where she packed like 4 bags and still did laundry mid week
     
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  7. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    She doesn’t commit it to memory because she knows the information is readily available and stored within her partner (you). All married people do this and it’s part of why people “literally feel like they’re losing their minds” after/during divorce, because effectively they have in a sense. It’s an evolutionary adaptation for humans to externally store data in their partners. When the partner is gone, so is the data. Really fascinating when you think about it.
     
  8. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    You just made that up
     
  9. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    100% my wife and I both do this
     
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  10. mal630

    mal630 Well-Known Member
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    I typed out a long response but the best way to describe is total fear of decision making. Frantically changes her mind at the end every time and usually doesn't even like what she orders.
     
  11. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    us too. i’ve externally stored the location of our firearms with my wife
     
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  12. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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  13. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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  14. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    We have two whiteboards and it's a game-changer.
     
  15. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    Precisely. It would be a collective waste of bandwidth for BOTH of you to commit it to memory.
     
  16. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    My version of that was to let the bag lean off the scale a bit with my tote bag slightly below it. Or lean it against the counters on the side of the scale. Usually good for a couple of pounds. Now I just refuse to check a bag ever. Usually cheaper to just buy clothes whereever I'm headed than to pay overrage charges.

    Side note, I'll never forget flying out of Barcelona on EZ Jet. I believe Barcelona had played Celtic the night before and the airport was full of still drunk scotts. The EZ Jet people were enforcing the bag sizes (and massive overage costs) aggressively. Eventually about 10 passengers, each wearing literally all the clothes that were in their back pack, complete with spare shoes worn around their necks as necklaces, boarded the flight and left their luggage by the trash bin. The amount of accented shit talk was thoroughly entertaining.
     
  17. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    She very frequently won't check luggage - upon arrival in a different city will need to buy clothing or "have" to get something done last minute if I adjust the itinerary whatsoever.

    Honestly not sure which strategy I would prefer because I hate dealing with luggage and have probably rocked a hanging bag that I don't have to check for like a decade.
     
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  18. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Does yours also ask you “what should I get?”
    Fuck if I know!
     
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  19. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    I have no idea what days our trash or recycling gets picked up.
     
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  20. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Because it’s relevant

     
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  21. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit But the second mouse gets the cheese
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    This man went to Allen Iverson's Financial Planning Workshop
     
  22. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    I’ve externally stored the ability to give her pleasure.
     
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  23. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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  24. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Does your wife take the trash out or just remind you when it needs taken out?
     
  25. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Reminds me when it needs to be taken out.
     
  26. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    does it seem to be a similar day each week. Lol
     
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  27. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    It’s not “every Tuesday” or something that would make sense.
     
  28. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    I understand it changing because of holidays sometimes (thankfully ours does not) but just in general? The fuck?
     
  29. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Gotcha we just moved so every trash day is like Christmas right now so I will never forget. Hindsight should have rented a dumpster.
     
  30. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    My wife does the recycling too (first Tuesday of every month or something like that idk). But to add another external data storage layer, I was reading about how people who keep up with recycling schedules etc… are “eco-signalers” (or something like that) for the neighborhood.

    Our neighbor told my wife, “I don’t know when the recycling picks up, I just wait until yours is on the curb and then I put mine out.” So basically if she didn’t keep up with it, no one in the neighborhood would recycle or they’d have to start figuring out for themselves. There’s a positive domino effect from her giving a shit and putting the recycling on the curb.

    :themoreyouknow:
     
  31. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    That's the only way I know when to put out lawn bags that are picked up on a schedule I'll never understand
     
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  32. killerwvu

    killerwvu Restoring WVU's E-Rep 1 Post At A Time
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    In Columbus, you can add the city's pickup calendar to your Google calendar. Makes it easy to know when it goes out
     
  33. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    I think DriveByBBQ might have something here with this whole Sabermetrics for Wives™️ thing. I’m excited to see everyone’s WifeAboveReplacement® value
     
  34. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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  35. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I have a recurring alarm set because these boxes never stop and my neighbor is 3 girls seemingly ordering even more boxes and we share the same 3 recycling bins.
     
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  36. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Bunch of humble brags in here about having wives who can remember stuff
     
  37. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Bet she remembers to tell you if you forget anything.
     
  38. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I think you're underestimating the value of not dealing with a female's luggage and boarding process. Can't really put a price on that.

    Just let her shop and find the nearest bar.
     
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  39. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit But the second mouse gets the cheese
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    I think you're underestimating the power of divorce. Same price, less hassle.
     
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  40. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    my trash company emails me the night before
     
  41. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Dallas has an app that gives notifications for trash/recycling/bulk trash :texassmug:
     
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  42. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog
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    Do you just throw all of the new clothes away before flying back home?
     
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  43. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I mean it's usually like a dress or two and a pair of shoes at most.

    It's not like Pretty Woman-esque shopping or anything.
     
  44. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    ok, this I know, my wife likes to rearrange the kitchen and other spaces often. I rage, talking passively aggressively loud about it at least once a month.

    I’ve mentioned countless times to stop moving shit around just to move it around. If she actually has a plan in place to make our life easier I’m all ears…just tell me the plan and where shit is going.
     
  45. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    Another common theme. Cards don’t go back into their places inside their wallet in the purse.

    They just go into a pocket with the hopes they don’t break in two and she will later find them!

    I’ve too gone to pay for something & had both missing. For a second it’s confusion, realization, a call to confirm, feeling like an idiot trying to explain why you can’t pay and hoping they will over the phone, and a drive home with a one-sided talk to your windshield asking exactly, ‘what the fuck was her thought process was in this situation.’
     
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  46. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    If I'm ever on a jury for a man who killed his wife after hearing "where it goes" as the answer to his question about where something is, he's going free
     
  47. mb711

    mb711 West Coast Barner
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    Shit, I felt that way before the gun episode.
     
  48. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit But the second mouse gets the cheese
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    Which one of y'all jokers is travelling right now?

    [​IMG]
     
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  49. LSUTigers1986

    LSUTigers1986 Well-Known Member
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    My wife and I went to a wedding in Mexico a few years back and she, unbeknownst to me, crammed a bunch of shit into my suitcase to stay under 50 lbs, including bug spray and sunscreen well over 3 ounces. Obviously I get flagged going through security and say “woah that’s not mine” when they pull it out of my bag. Not a great sentence for Mexican security to hear. My wife just mouths sorry as I spend the next 20 minutes explaining it was bad Spanglish on my part as they comb through everything. I changed my seat to be in a different row that flight back.
     
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  50. whiteboy

    whiteboy ehh, maybe
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    Not wife, but my MIL continues to be bad at emojis.

    IMG_2D3A4549C574-1.jpeg

    Scooter is grandma's dog. But she would've used the same emoji had it been a person.