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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.
53 recently. $130
One thing my wife does: Doesn't put shit away. Tampon wrappers on the floor by the trash can. Bend the fuck down and put them in the can.
Many an item has had to be thrown away because she'll get up and make a bottle for the youngest during the night and leave the milk on the counter. Once she left the entire fridge open and it burned up the fridge trying to cool itself all day and ruined all the consumables. Drives me nuts.
i jam pack my luggage for work trips and it still ends up weighing like 43 lbs wtf are these broads packing
Their “products” are heavy
Everything. Literally everything. Mine had the equivalent of a full size checked luggage to stay one night at a hotel locally for my work’s christmas party. Apparently she needed “options” so she had 3 outfits several shoes etc for what was a ~4 hour event.
Same for mine
We've gone on week long road trips where she packed like 4 bags and still did laundry mid week
She doesn’t commit it to memory because she knows the information is readily available and stored within her partner (you). All married people do this and it’s part of why people “literally feel like they’re losing their minds” after/during divorce, because effectively they have in a sense. It’s an evolutionary adaptation for humans to externally store data in their partners. When the partner is gone, so is the data. Really fascinating when you think about it.
You just made that up
100% my wife and I both do this
I typed out a long response but the best way to describe is total fear of decision making. Frantically changes her mind at the end every time and usually doesn't even like what she orders.
us too. i’ve externally stored the location of our firearms with my wife
It’s known as “Transactive Memory”.
Transactive Memory in close couples
My wife handles our social calendar and I ask her 5x a week what our plans are for the weekend
We have two whiteboards and it's a game-changer.
Precisely. It would be a collective waste of bandwidth for BOTH of you to commit it to memory.
My version of that was to let the bag lean off the scale a bit with my tote bag slightly below it. Or lean it against the counters on the side of the scale. Usually good for a couple of pounds. Now I just refuse to check a bag ever. Usually cheaper to just buy clothes whereever I'm headed than to pay overrage charges.
Side note, I'll never forget flying out of Barcelona on EZ Jet. I believe Barcelona had played Celtic the night before and the airport was full of still drunk scotts. The EZ Jet people were enforcing the bag sizes (and massive overage costs) aggressively. Eventually about 10 passengers, each wearing literally all the clothes that were in their back pack, complete with spare shoes worn around their necks as necklaces, boarded the flight and left their luggage by the trash bin. The amount of accented shit talk was thoroughly entertaining.
She very frequently won't check luggage - upon arrival in a different city will need to buy clothing or "have" to get something done last minute if I adjust the itinerary whatsoever.
Honestly not sure which strategy I would prefer because I hate dealing with luggage and have probably rocked a hanging bag that I don't have to check for like a decade.
Does yours also ask you “what should I get?”
Fuck if I know!
I have no idea what days our trash or recycling gets picked up.
Because it’s relevant
This man went to Allen Iverson's Financial Planning Workshop
I’ve externally stored the ability to give her pleasure.
Does your wife take the trash out or just remind you when it needs taken out?
Reminds me when it needs to be taken out.
does it seem to be a similar day each week. Lol
It’s not “every Tuesday” or something that would make sense.
I understand it changing because of holidays sometimes (thankfully ours does not) but just in general? The fuck?
Gotcha we just moved so every trash day is like Christmas right now so I will never forget. Hindsight should have rented a dumpster.
My wife does the recycling too (first Tuesday of every month or something like that idk). But to add another external data storage layer, I was reading about how people who keep up with recycling schedules etc… are “eco-signalers” (or something like that) for the neighborhood.
Our neighbor told my wife, “I don’t know when the recycling picks up, I just wait until yours is on the curb and then I put mine out.” So basically if she didn’t keep up with it, no one in the neighborhood would recycle or they’d have to start figuring out for themselves. There’s a positive domino effect from her giving a shit and putting the recycling on the curb.
That's the only way I know when to put out lawn bags that are picked up on a schedule I'll never understand
In Columbus, you can add the city's pickup calendar to your Google calendar. Makes it easy to know when it goes out
I think DriveByBBQ might have something here with this whole Sabermetrics for Wives™️ thing. I’m excited to see everyone’s WifeAboveReplacement® value
I have a recurring alarm set because these boxes never stop and my neighbor is 3 girls seemingly ordering even more boxes and we share the same 3 recycling bins.
Bunch of humble brags in here about having wives who can remember stuff
Bet she remembers to tell you if you forget anything.
I think you're underestimating the value of not dealing with a female's luggage and boarding process. Can't really put a price on that.
Just let her shop and find the nearest bar.
I think you're underestimating the power of divorce. Same price, less hassle.
my trash company emails me the night before
Dallas has an app that gives notifications for trash/recycling/bulk trash
Do you just throw all of the new clothes away before flying back home?
I mean it's usually like a dress or two and a pair of shoes at most.
It's not like Pretty Woman-esque shopping or anything.
ok, this I know, my wife likes to rearrange the kitchen and other spaces often. I rage, talking passively aggressively loud about it at least once a month.
I’ve mentioned countless times to stop moving shit around just to move it around. If she actually has a plan in place to make our life easier I’m all ears…just tell me the plan and where shit is going.
Another common theme. Cards don’t go back into their places inside their wallet in the purse.
They just go into a pocket with the hopes they don’t break in two and she will later find them!
I’ve too gone to pay for something & had both missing. For a second it’s confusion, realization, a call to confirm, feeling like an idiot trying to explain why you can’t pay and hoping they will over the phone, and a drive home with a one-sided talk to your windshield asking exactly, ‘what the fuck was her thought process was in this situation.’
If I'm ever on a jury for a man who killed his wife after hearing "where it goes" as the answer to his question about where something is, he's going free
Shit, I felt that way before the gun episode.
Which one of y'all jokers is travelling right now?
My wife and I went to a wedding in Mexico a few years back and she, unbeknownst to me, crammed a bunch of shit into my suitcase to stay under 50 lbs, including bug spray and sunscreen well over 3 ounces. Obviously I get flagged going through security and say “woah that’s not mine” when they pull it out of my bag. Not a great sentence for Mexican security to hear. My wife just mouths sorry as I spend the next 20 minutes explaining it was bad Spanglish on my part as they comb through everything. I changed my seat to be in a different row that flight back.
Not wife, but my MIL continues to be bad at emojis.
Scooter is grandma's dog. But she would've used the same emoji had it been a person.