Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Just saying when my wife was pregnant she’d do things like forget to take her other earring out and then claimed it was lost, or misplaced her wedding ring for like a week bc her hands were swelling or she was putting lotion on
     
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  2. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Celemo
     
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  3. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Feeling very blessed my wife just wears her ring as far as jewelry goes
     
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  4. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Did she lose the rest?
     
  5. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Pawned as part of her dowry
     
  6. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    We did this too up until the year we got married and then just combined everything a few months prior to the wedding at the start of the year. Seems like a reasonable approach if you're living together and not married yet.

    Couples exchanging Venmos for coffee is fucking insane.
     
  7. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    It's for "goods and services" not "friends and family" payments. Just have to be careful of what box you check or profile is set up I guess.
     
  8. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    it was in her purse
     
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  9. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    how much time do you estimate was wasted looking under the bed and sifting thru dog shit?
     
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  10. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    It was the entire morning. I was half an hour late to work this morning helping and she spent the entire morning searching until she found it. she was on the way to the vet for an X Ray when she pulled it out of her purse.
     
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  11. seanofthedead86

    seanofthedead86 Well-Known Member
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    Not necessarily stupid but my wife will come up with unique reasons to order out for dinner. Tonight's reason is to celebrate Acuna coming back.
     
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  12. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Aye, It did buy some mighty fine livestock iirc
     
  13. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Sounds legit to me
     
  14. PAHokie

    PAHokie Can't a bitch living say I bought her Michael Kors
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    Perfectly find reason.
     
  15. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    :laugh:

    knew it
     
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  16. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    :ded:
     
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  17. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    I believe we have an awesome things your wife/gf do thread somewhere
     
  18. seanofthedead86

    seanofthedead86 Well-Known Member
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    Later in the night she didn't know AJ Brown and Antonio Brown were two different people, so...
     
  19. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Sounds like a reason for another take out dinner!
     
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  20. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    “Hey honey my online boyfriends love how you find reasons to order food.”
    “Sounds like a great reason to get Applebees tonight.”
     
  21. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    We’ve been doing the worlds longest renovation it feels like. First week of March we ripped out the floors, kitchen, etc.

    Finally last week the floors were finished and our cabinet guy could get the final measurements and finish building. We still have no kitchen, the garage is like a maze of boxes but it’s almost over. The end is somewhat near. So how does my wife want to celebrate?

    By having people over this weekend when we still have no god damn kitchen yet and the only fridge is in the land of boxes and appliances.

    Totally normal thing to do
     
  22. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    Sounds like you need to get some chicken tendies
     
  23. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Now that sounds like a reason for celebratory takeout
     
  24. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    We’re at our city’s soccer fields 4/5 days a week and I’ve just been eating really sad fucking dinners there. I’ve never wanted to cook my own food so bad in my life
     
  25. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    When we did our kitchen remo, we found a place that sold pre-made meals. You just need a frig and a microwave. Quality was good, ease was perfect, and cost was not terrible. Their model was for quick meals that fit healthy diets (keto, paloe, whole30) so you were not just ingesting trash while on the go.
     
  26. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Yeah but she gets the points.
     
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  27. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Same. My wife bought 6 remotes to have backups when she loses them. I pulled her clothes out of the dryer and found airpod pros. Car keys…her computer…phone (which also is infrequently charged, killing the chance of using find my iPhone). It goes on.
     
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  28. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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  29. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    My wife fell at roller derby practice and landed on her wheel and now had a wheel shaped bruise on her lady bits. Last year she did the same thing on her taint.
     
  30. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    I’m trying to comprehend the mechanics of this fall.
     
  31. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    Are you sure she didn’t go on a date with BlazingRebel and that was her excuse?
     
  32. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    We don't call him WhiskeyDelta the taint melta in the group chat for nothing
     
  33. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Wife is currently mad at me because today her cousin found a beach house for rent this weekend 4 hours from us for a good deal and she wants to go with them, but little man has his soccer game on Saturday and she said she would 'let him decide'
    It's the biggest match up of the year for his little soccer league, his best friend plays on the only other undefeated team who they are playing. And she is mad because I won't try to convince him to skip it.
    Not even approaching the "you committed to this, you are gunna be there" angle.
    She is just fly by the seat of your pants upset.
     
  34. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Bae sadly informed me today that the lead singer of Sublime has passed away. RIP in peace
     
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  35. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    again? tough run for him
     
  36. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Rome has fallen?
     
  37. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Indeed. Just another reminder that life is too short so love the one you got
     
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  38. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Wife channeled a rookie of the year arm and absolutely rocketed one of these balls upload_2022-5-5_11-12-42.png directly at my face as I was turning around. Caught me right on the orbital bone. My condition is doubtful for game 3.
     
  39. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    those things are squishy af tho. my kids love it.
     
  40. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Yeah it must have caught me perfectly, left a mark. And again I have no idea how/why she threw it so hard. I probably cheated on her in her dream the night before or something.
     
  41. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Asshole
     
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  42. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    One time I dropped an empty water bottle. Instinctively tried to kick it up with bare foot and guess it also hit perfectly, fractured a tiny bone somehow
     
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  43. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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  44. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Me: what are you mad about?
    Her: nothing
    Me: what are you mad about?
    Her: nothing
    Me: what are you mad about?
    Her: fine…I’m disappointed I didn’t get anything special for breakfast on Mother’s Day. I sort of wanted a chocolate croissant and coffee from <some place she likes>
    Me: But when we talked earlier this week, you said you just wanted some stuff from <another place she likes> for dinner
    Her: I know. I was hoping you’d do something for breakfast too.
    Me: I don’t want to do this on Mother’s Day, but are you serious right now?
     
  45. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    “I didn’t want to have to tell you what I wanted, I wanted you to want to know it already and want to do it”
     
  46. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    You sir, fell on for one of the classic blunders. The greatest is getting involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly more than “not assuming your partner wants more than she asks for for Mothers Day”
     
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  47. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    I’m no dummy (lol). She’s already getting more than she asked for (which isn’t much). It’s just very out of character to pull the “read my mind” shit (no it’s not).
     
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  48. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    My wife got some leopard print pajama shorts that my kid picked out from target. Had a baby on my arm, so it was wrapped by stuffing it in a tumbler that was nearby.

    P good mother's day if you ask me
     
  49. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    My wife is getting matching (or not if she chooses) Frisco Rough Rider t-shirt with Levi at the baseball game she requested to go to.
     
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  50. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    RIP DMX