One of my friend's girlfriends put leaves outside his door so she would know if he went anywhere that night. He wakes up to her perched in the corner asking "Where are the leaves?????" There is an open window like 15 feet from this leaf situation.
My wife is driving home from Dallas (thanks for taking care of her, Dump) and said she was in stopped traffic at 70 and she was stopping at Bucees at 79 so she had 9 more exits I had to explain what mile markers are
Wife just notified me that she accidentally tipped our recycling pickup guys $104 Apparently there was a $100 in our $1 stack (I always tip postmates etc in cash so we have a stack of 1s for said purpose).
I81 in PA had exits numbered that way when I was a kid. Changed over to the mile marker sometime when I was in HS I think.
This isn't her fault bc there aren't any where we live, but I laughed as a lifelong Florida resident. On vacation and the wife was on pizza ordering duty while I was getting groceries. I just asked for no chains because they're boring to me. She found something that she was super proud about. Delivery guy arrived with hungry Howie's
$50 stays in the tip area If we go to a strip club the wife has absolutely zero self control so there would be no point of even trying to keep a certain amount on hand.
I'll never be able to grasp why the girls care remotely about what the British royal family is up to - I just don't get it. Neither of them is technically white and they're from Florida and California. I think I could understand a Real Housewives/Sur/Kardashian obsession more but maybe I'm out of touch.
My girlfriend was glued to the TV for hours for the most recent celebration because she "studied abroad in London for a semester" 20 years ago. Yeah, I've been to Knoxville a few times, but I didn't watch two seconds of Peyton's Hall of Fame speech.
Fuck the royals. Some of the funniest shit ever is when Frank mimics the queen and her dead husband on KLOS Heidi&Frank morning show.
Gf ordered 12 party packs instead of 12 tacos on postmates - on the plus side - 144 tacos In fairness she showed me how the app is set up and it is bullshit - but I do usually at least look at the final amount before accepting.
We didn't have enough room in the fridge so literally just gave them to neighbors which is probably top 5 weirdest neighbor encounters of my lifetime. "Hey guys, we have a taco surplus currently - enjoy"
She did extra seasoned beef and tomatoes on all of them which I think was an extra 150+ If you look at the app though I could easily see doing something on par with this when drunk. Which I'm sure is what they are shooting for.
Dumbest shit I've seen posted in this thread. I cannot "easily see doing something on par" with that while drunk. It's a stupid idiot move. Call it out for what it is. Thanks for posting. disclaimer: if $150 to Eathan Edwards is the equivalent to $0.15 to me, then shit, all good baby. Laugh it up.
It's certainly not ideal - but I don't consider this in the same ballpark as my neighbor's daughter getting towed 3 times in a week - on the same street - while having a driveway.
After watching the Woodstock 99 doc, my wife was going through all the times she went to Reading Festival in England and is having flashbacks of bands she didn’t remember ever seeing because she was entirely too drunk and stoned to have any recall of who was on stage. My wife’s adolescence was much more exciting than mine.
This is how I found out you can add extra beef to tacos at taco bell.... All this time I've only been asking them to take off the tomatoes.
My wife is running drafts this weekend for the city soccer league. Roughly 1000 kids in a bunch of divisions. I am far from an excel expert but last year when we did it I helped more with the building of the sheets and such. She got annoyed with me last year because I told her multiple times to paste the numbers as values instead of the formula so they will stay consistent when you need to sort by different data. Guess who had to redo the forms and bring them up after the drafts have already started
Seems like about once every couple of months the wife goes to the store and leaves something after paying for it Today was milk, which I confirmed was on the receipt but nowhere to be found in the car or anything And of course she had some recipe she is making today that requires milk. So guess who gets to run to the 7-11 to buy a $4 half gallon after she already paid for one somewhere else