Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. letan

    letan Just looking for the gator board
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    thank god we got it fixed before all the agents with guns finished their training!
     
  2. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Wife with a worldie today. We have a motorized standing desk. A few months back, it stopped working. She gets a replacement top sent under warranty. I took the computer off of it and we were getting ready to move it to replace the top and she goes “did you unplug the desk?” Nope. It was just unplugged. That’s why it wasn’t working. :awesomeface:
     
  3. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    I know that feeling. A week ago I got everything ready for chili so that I only needed my wife to grab it from the fridge, insert it in the crock pot and turn it on while I was at work. I got home and the chili was in the crock pot turned to low but she never plugged in the crock pot.
     
  4. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I pucker up so hard any time my wife needs to do something food related. I usually set alarms on the google speaker, the microwave, and the oven so she can't ignore just one or two things yelling at her
     
  5. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    I don’t know how this company is still in business. We now own one base and 3 tops. The first one they sent was the wrong one. And they didn’t want it back, they just sent a new one.
     
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  6. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    I set an Alexa timer in two rooms for her. I just didn’t think about the need to tell her to plug it in. I would have plugged it in myself but the outlet is used to toast waffles for the kids before school.
     
  7. mizz1439

    mizz1439 Well-Known Member

    My wife is the queen of the half-task. Want toilet paper brought up from the basement and put in the upstairs bathroom? Sorry, that’s only getting from the basement to the staircase for the next 3 days. New clothes for the kid? That’ll be moved around various spots in the kitchen for a week before it gets in his dresser. Clean up after dinner? Sure, everything but the counter will get wiped down. She has an uncanny ability to do the majority of a chore, but never finish it, which my friends and I refer to as “half-tasks”.
     
  8. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    She and I are kindred spirits
     
  9. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Wife had a call with work go until nearly 7, which left to make dinner (again) after she said she’d take care of it (again) and eating alone for the second time this week, and then she has a zoom meeting with her roller derby team’s leadership at 8, and she asked me why I seem annoyed.
     
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  10. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    my brother-in-law works for the IRS and is married to my wife’s twin.

    Her to him, ‘hey Dan if I do **insert something that borders on or is illegal** will that save me how much money?’

    Him with a ‘wtf’ face. Me with a facepalm.

    He is pretty awesome dude so it helps a lot when one of our wives is up to something crazy and we can both look at each other with a, ‘I know that feel.’
     
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  11. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    If she is starting the task and the intention is good but doesn’t get finished that sir is adhd.
     
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  12. b0ne5

    b0ne5 Well-Known Member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    This is me. All the time. I end up with 5 unwritten emails at the end of the day that complete and send because I get distracted easily.
     
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  13. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    The amount of times I’ve walked into a room to do something, forgot what I walked into that room to do, went back to previous spot, only to go back again once I remembered …
     
  14. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    I'm standing in my garage right now trying to think of what it was I was gunna do out here this evening that I thought about earlier today

    Second beer should help my memory
     
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  15. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    did it ?
     
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  16. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    no
    neither did the 3rd, 4th, 5th, or 6th
     
  17. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Get out there and try again today. No one likes a quitter
     
  18. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    effort appreciated
     
  19. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Woke up to a two banger this morning…

    My wife left a back burner on low all night long and also left the freezer cracked since dinner. The cold from the freezer and the heat from the stove balanced out to a nice 68* in the kitchen.
     
  20. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    There is a joke to be made here but since your stove isn’t an induction I can’t put my finger on it.
     
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  21. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
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    So ya have a brother in law at the IRS that is willing to toe the line a bit ya say?

    [​IMG]
     
  22. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    no he isn’t. He told my wife to basically shut the hell up.

    he just got a promotion but used to audit super large corporations. Me and my wife would not qualify in any realm as having billions of dollars at our disposal.
     
  23. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Just got the quarterly "I just looked at our finances..." text from my wife, which is code for me having to listen to her rant about how we're spending too much money when I get home later. I could be a little better about making lunch to bring with me to work vs getting takeout from somewhere. But I'm also not the one buying a bunch of shit we don't need on Amazon or at Costco every week. Sure, it's cool that we now have a roomba or outside refrigerator. But then why are you shocked when we don't have as much money to put in savings as you would like for this pay period?

    And of course all of this is happening the morning I start pressing her that we need to plan trips/camps/etc. for the summer now so we don't run into the same problem as last week where she decided she wants a beach vacation during the kids spring break a month out and everything is either booked or triple the cost.
     
  24. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    I’m your wife and you’re my wife.

    And people actually put money in savings every pay period? You rich folks got it nice. There’s nothing leftover in my house after gas/electric get paid each month.
     
  25. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    My wife is the bread winner. I let her…. She handles all her shit. I just try to fly under the radar with my expenses.
     
  26. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    My wife handles all of it for us. I don’t even really look at the bank account, and if a bill is not on auto draft and somehow my responsibility, I’m going to pay it late like a dumbass.
     
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  27. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    This. I don’t do or know shit about our finances. She will ask, and my answer is always whatever she thinks is best.
     
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  28. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    I just get a venmo request. I usually like to let it marinade for a couple days before completing.
     
  29. Super Vegeta

    Super Vegeta I'm starting to feel like I'm entering my slut era
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    I could only dream of the freedom that must come with being blissfully unaware of personal finances. Instead I’m over here micromanaging every cent like a psychopath.
     
  30. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    It’s pretty fucking fantastic
     
  31. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    That's only because we've learned the life hack of closing our freezers and turning off the burners at night
     
  32. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    I micromanage finances, which is why we keep separate accounts. As long as my wife pays her student loans and contributes up to her 401k match, I have no idea what she spends. It's a blissful ignorance that works for us.
     
  33. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    This is me, my wife is blissfully unaware
     
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  34. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    This is craziness to me
     
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  35. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    My objection wouldn't stop her from buying everything anyway, so might as well be ignorant and keep my blood pressure down.
     
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  36. electronic

    electronic It’s satire!
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    It also sucks when one of you croaks.
     
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  37. billdozer

    billdozer Well-Known Member
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    My wife pays the bills and I keep the budget up to date and handle all savings/investments. Works pretty well for us.
     
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  38. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    This used to be my wife. It took her about 5 years of me beating it into her head that we’re fine for her to finally relax. Now she’s gone the other way and will drop $1500 on new drivers and woods on a whim. It’s kind of hilarious.
     
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  39. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    On the money subject, my wife wanted me to be home to receive some kind of mirror. I was thinking it was some shit she got on amazon, but it's apparently from some silly specialty store that has its own delivery service. Not a goddamn chance I'm going to the website to see what that cost
     
  40. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    :roll:
     
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  41. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    This is me but I also just enjoy spreadsheeting.
     
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  42. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Our finances work well because my wife is relatively cheap/frugal and has forgotten her PIN and password to our bank account. She constantly assumes the account is low and we don’t save anything. I don’t bother telling her balances.
     
  43. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    Why would you do that? I indoctrinated my wife so well when we first got married that 20 years later she will still often instinctively reply “we can’t afford it we’re on a budget” if a family member floats a now comfortably affordable weekend away or big group gift
     
  44. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Because now I get to buy the shit I want without hearing anything about it.
     
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  45. NoNatty

    NoNatty Keyboard Cowboy
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    My wife stays home with the kids. I take care of all financial stuff, she has no idea how much money we make, and I buy whatever I want.

    I can’t buy anything without her permission, but when it comes to vacations she is a banana costs $10 meme.
     
  46. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    I can’t comprehend just going through life having no idea how much money you have
     
  47. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
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    my wife hasn't logged into our finances since like....'16, no checking bank account, credit card, nada

    she makes absurd money and is cheap so it works out
     
  48. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I'm sure most of us file taxes jointly. My wife and I have no clue what the other does, but we're both responsible and she makes quite a bit more than I do so there's a built in cushion. We talk about big purchases.
     
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  49. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Kids 2nd birthday tomorrow.
    My day:
    8:30- 9:30 work conference call
    9:30-10:30 trip to grocery store to order food for party and pick up stuff.
    10:30-2:00. pressure clean the patio, clean leaves out of pool, clean pool filters, finalize new sprinkler system that was installed yesterday, clean patio furniture

    2:00-3:30 another work conference call and respond to emails
    3:30-4:30 trip to Costco and liquor store for more party supplies.
    4:30-7:00 put drinks in coolers, put the now clean patio furniture in correct spots, clean inside of house, etc.

    Wife’s day
    9-7 keep half an eye on child while she worked on the party favors for the 10 kids coming to the party. Guess who is the asshole for not caring what the party favors looked like at end of day?

    Next year this damn thing is gonna be at a trampoline park.
     
  50. Joe Withabee

    Joe Withabee PS I have sifulus
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    Eating at Michelin star restaurants every weekend doesn't tip her off?
     
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