Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    I think we might have something to rival “tried to send child to school with a gun”
     
    #17251 Jimmy the Saint, Feb 25, 2023
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2023
    Ric Flair and blind dog like this.
  2. LSUTigers1986

    LSUTigers1986 Well-Known Member
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    Nvm
     
    #17252 LSUTigers1986, Feb 25, 2023
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2023
  3. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    Wtf… maybe she was trying to off you and make it look like an accident
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  4. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Sometimes we put the pizza box in the oven on the lowest setting. My guess is that was her plan but she broiled that sumbitch :laugh:
     
  5. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    I had a roommate once who put one of those microwaveable mini pizzas in a microwave for 20 minutes once. After about 10 minutes the entire first floor of the house had been filled with smoke. I was crawling on the ground to the kitchen to turn off the microwave. I could barely see anything five feet in front of me when I opened the door from my bedroom.
     
  6. HotMic

    HotMic Insider
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    Found the perfect tweet to describe my wife

     
  7. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin He ain’t me, he can’t be me
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    Yeah if you keep it under 200 it’s not a problem and is a good way to keep the pizza hot if you’re waiting on someone or something l.
     
    FTK and Snakes like this.
  8. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    It’s bonus payout season in the jbr house. We both agreed that $250 was reasonable to splurge with and the rest goes to 529s, savings, etc.

    095E6EF4-0607-4871-ABE7-295C7942805B.jpeg

    It’s the principle, people. And the lack of respect because she knows rules have never applied to her.
     
  9. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Looks like you get the freedom to spend 160.82 with the remaining budget.
     
    -Asshole-, IHHH, Homo Erectus and 6 others like this.
  10. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    Psh. I’m the man of the house. I spend what I want.

    In true stereotypical fashion, she has no idea about our household finances and probably doesn’t even have logins to the banks, Amex, etc.
     
  11. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    whats the big peach thing
     
  12. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    There was $20 in taxes and another $70 for overnight shipping, asshole
     
  13. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    Sex shop for women with big asses

    Or a store for running gear
     
    Dump, Homo Erectus, a.tramp and 2 others like this.
  14. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    i was hoping for the former
     
  15. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin He ain’t me, he can’t be me
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    If it was the first one you would be the stupid one for complaining.

    Maybe she bought two pairs and will return the ones she doesn’t like.
     
    HoosDaMan and wes tegg like this.
  16. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    :leo:
     
    dvnasty, ashy larry, CUgator and 13 others like this.
  17. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I do feel like there should always be a big buffer for things that will result in the wife getting in better shape
     
    Snakes likes this.
  18. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    My wife has perfect gums and teeth, never had braces and never had a cavity or any kind of dental problem whatsoever. She is also afraid of needles, I have to treat her like a child and buy her stuff to get flu/covid shots. For almost 20 years she is convinced she has a cavity before every single dentist appointment. This time she is for real though (she can see it, she showed me I don't see anything) and doesn't know why I don't care bc she is going to have to get shots in her mouth and she is scared

    Guess who just left the dentist with no cavities
     
  19. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Also hate needles. But am ok with them if administered nitro first…
     
    Dump and blind dog like this.
  20. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    ATL?

    Big running chain here
     
  21. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Upstanding Citizen
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    Makes more sense that it'd be a pocket pu$$y for you.
     
  22. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Ok but they were having a sale so really she saved money and taxes don’t count
     
    Dump, Bruce Bowen, bigred77 and 2 others like this.
  23. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    My favorite part of the whole interaction was “So what? I spent $320…it’s a little more than what we talked about.”

    It was $340. Always rounding down.
     
  24. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    We are gonna need a pic of the wife to see if this overage is justified.
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  25. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    So we are going to berate a woman for wanting to stay in prime physical shape for her husband and to extend her life with healthy choices? Wow.
     
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  26. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Read this as Pig Beach running
     
  27. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Not all households are the same when it comes to finances. Blowing the splurge budget buy $90 can be no big deal for some, and a massive deal for others.
     
    DistantFactor and bigred77 like this.
  28. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    I was clearly being sarcastic.
     
  29. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Probably fake but this killed me:

    upload_2023-2-27_14-47-35.png
     
  30. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    I think she’s hot…
    …when she’s not sleeping in the office.
    A568F30E-2B95-47D1-A096-6D24F52A7708.jpeg
     
    bigred77, NineteenNine, Dump and 5 others like this.
  31. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Always love those work wives who "sleep at the office"

    :deerstandnotkneel:
     
    bigred77, NineteenNine and jbr like this.
  32. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    Thank you for this timely antidote. Really puts things into perspective for the thread and helps bridge the gap between our poors and the rich.
     
    devine, Dump, Bruce Bowen and 5 others like this.
  33. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Anecdote, buddy.
     
  34. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I can never understand how my wife can't open a jar but turns into Conan the barbarian at every door she comes across
     
    Oranjello, Baron, bigred77 and 5 others like this.
  35. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    What does your wife do to said doors?
     
  36. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    This is what I picture, from what I hear

    [​IMG]
     
  37. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Actually it goes both ways. She was here yesterday.

    upload_2023-2-27_22-38-17.gif
     
  38. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Been laughing so hard on the last 2 pages wife demanded I show her. My cover is blown now. Luckily she thinks it’s called manboard.com so will never find the site.
     
  39. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    Thank you for the timely spell check, it allows our users to differentiate between our dumbasses and road skolars.
     
  40. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Just jumping in to say that Big Peach Running is great and I still buy all my running shoes from them even though I haven't lived in Atlanta in a decade.
     
  41. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Wife sent me this:
    [​IMG]

    and then I explained that guys wear the same nice shirt because one time 3 years ago one person told them that that shirt looks nice and that has been the only positive feedback on an outfit they've received since their grandma told them they looked like a handsome young man and so they will wear that shirt for everything until it falls off their back and now she feels bad about Dude Culture cuz it is a sad and lonely place.
     
  42. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Re: the money/treat yoself discussion. I got a raise and bonus today, the former of which was better than expected. My wife told me I should buy myself something nice. Nice try asshole

    [​IMG]
     
  43. tjsblue

    tjsblue I was right at the time
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    But really you should. Yolo and so does she.
     
    Keef likes this.
  44. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
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    fastforward to the day she buys you something nice with your money
     
    One Two and NineteenNine like this.
  45. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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  46. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    Idk if I’m more upset at the quality of Parmesan there or the holes
     
    goheels10, Clown Baby, Dump and 2 others like this.
  47. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    That shouldn’t legally be allowed to be called cheese
     
  48. HotMic

    HotMic Insider
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    Anyone else called it “shaker cheese”?
     
  49. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I wish that was my wife. I'd have a lot of fun rotating the lid