Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    Tell her she can take the kids :awesomeface:
     
    Capt Wigs, -Asshole-, Lip and 16 others like this.
  2. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    She actually took one of them with her :roll:
     
  3. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    I don’t mind going to the grocery store
     
    Lip, blind dog, HotMic and 16 others like this.
  4. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    I love it. It is “with other people” that grinds my gears. That is me time.
     
    Ric Flair, Lip, blind dog and 19 others like this.
  5. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    This is me
    I would rather go all by myself. Get in. Get out, get what I need and be done.
     
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  6. b0ne5

    b0ne5 Well-Known Member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    I actually can’t remember the last time I went to the grocery store for anything other than picking up groceries that someone already picked out for me.
     
  7. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    My wife builds menus and lists and I go to the store. Pretty simple, really.
     
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  8. b0ne5

    b0ne5 Well-Known Member
    Arkansas Razorbacks

    She orders and I pick up. Same thing but it saves me time. Even simpler!
     
  9. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    .
     
    #17859 beerme, May 28, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2024
    Ric Flair, -Asshole-, Lip and 15 others like this.
  10. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    A few weeks back my wife wanted to pick up some coffee while we were on the way to something else. So I pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop and park. She doesn't move. I look at her like "???" and she asks if I want to come with. I say not really. I don't drink coffee and she knows this. She decides she doesn't really want it any more either so we pressed on to where we were heading.

    Felt sorta asshole-ish afterwards but we were on vacation and I was a little hungover and just not in the mood to stand in a line for literally no reason. Blows my mind that you can want coffee but only if you can drag your husband into the store with you to pick it up
     
    Ric Flair, -Asshole-, Lip and 22 others like this.
  11. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    :laugh: that’s ridiculous.
     
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  12. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Where does someone that lives in the Bahamas go on vacation?
     
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  13. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    To another island lol. Was kind of a long weekend mini-vacation just to change the scenery.
     
  14. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    The fold helps keep things in though…
     
  15. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I don’t either, if I’m alone. It’s actually some nice quiet time to pop in the headphones.

    I don’t want to go with a four and one year old when I could just keep them home where they have toys.
     
  16. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    As a shopper I also appreciate when people leave their kids at home.
     
    fattus, -Asshole-, Lip and 11 others like this.
  17. seanofthedead86

    seanofthedead86 Well-Known Member
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    My wife has this habit of wanting to walk side by side in the store while im pushing the cart and then making a turn with no announcement and I'm having to make my way back to her. And then gets annoyed with me when I try to get her to walk in front so I can follow.
     
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  18. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    mine will spontaneously airport tier power walk through a busy area while I’m just standing there with a cart like :huh:
     
  19. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    I find taking up a lot of the lane and not thinking about other people either as selfish or lacking common sense.

    Fwiw, I shop at low traffic times bc people are in a hurry and lack common courtesy
     
  20. seanofthedead86

    seanofthedead86 Well-Known Member
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    Yeah it's usually not in the aisle, it's when leaving one aisle and going to the next she'll walk next to me and then make a sudden turn.
     
    Iron Mickey likes this.
  21. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Complaining about kids at a grocery store has to be one of the lamest options for the No-child community.
     
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  22. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Florida Gators

    I refuse to go to Publix with my wife because when she asks me to it just means she wants me to stand in line at the deli counter while she otherwise shops. F that. If I'm in Publix I like to browse the aisles to see what strikes my fancy.
     
  23. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    From my experience, more kids creates a greater desire to go get groceries by myself.
     
  24. seanofthedead86

    seanofthedead86 Well-Known Member
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    Order it ahead of time. Boom. Life hack.
     
    Bruce Bowen, NineteenNine and Rabid like this.
  25. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    It 100% has to do with my anxiety.

    Unexpected loud noises or anything that startles me puts me on edge. It's my problem so I shop in off hours and don't expect others to cater to me. I find it annoying so I adapt, but I still have the right to an opinion.
     
    Lip, devine, One Two and 6 others like this.
  26. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    IN HIS DEFENSE he said he appreciates it. That’s different than the CROTCHFRUIT DESTROYED MY SUNDAY DATE AT PUBLIX type shit.
     
    Bay Bandit, Lip, blind dog and 10 others like this.
  27. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    .
     
    #17877 beerme, May 28, 2023
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2024
    Lip, One Two, Dump and 2 others like this.
  28. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Bring my 4 year old to the store every Sunday. He loves that shit.
     
    football501 likes this.
  29. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    dearest lord will the spawners ever respect the sanctity of my Food Lion
     
  30. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Luckily mine just rides on top and chats. Worst case scenario is that he'll tell a stranger or two what foods gives him the runs
     
    fattus, Lip, football501 and 12 others like this.
  31. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    Pro tips iyam
     
    -Asshole-, One Two, Dump and 3 others like this.
  32. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Sex trophies* tyvm
     
    ashy larry and Iron Mickey like this.
  33. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    skeptical hippo
     
  34. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    Well that’s just a public service. “Captain Crunch makes me poop!” Me, too, kid. Me, too.
     
    -Asshole- and Iron Mickey like this.
  35. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Pfft - nice attempt to keep your wife unaware of how many Publix parking lot internet battles that needs to be hashed out.
     
  36. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Opinion of only the lamest breeders.
     
  37. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    Real breeders call them precious gifts from god. NPR out here embarrassing himself with his sperm demons smdh
     
  38. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Participation trophies are for losers
     
  39. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    A lot of hate from people with no proof that they fucked
     
  40. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    a lot of suggestion that their proto human is proof of fucking from people who seem to need evidence

    basically my I’ve had sex shirt is raising a lot of questions answered by my I’ve had sex shirt
     
  41. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    :getmoneyfuckbitches:
     
    Doc Louis, One Two, Dump and 2 others like this.
  42. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    -Asshole-, Lip, blind dog and 6 others like this.
  43. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    I think Iron Mickey TiK Tok sex films speak for themselves.
    :golfclap:
     
  44. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    yeah, they thunder that I am a sexual fair ride: 90 chaotic seconds, an urge to nausea, with abrupt and jarring conclusion
     
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  45. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    My personal favorites "Gone in 60 Seconds" as an homage to Nicholas Cage
     
    Iron Mickey likes this.
  46. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    GF has been getting ready for like 30 minutes - I just assumed she had a breakfast meeting with a client or something so didn't really think anything of it until I saw the outfit.

    "Babe, you realize it's a federal holiday and your office is probably closed today right? You may want to call and double check or see if they sent out an email"

    Office closed
     
  47. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Shoulda let her go to the office for more likes
     
  48. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    "It's the strangest thing, I got to the building and no one was there"

    Missed opportunity.
     
    Iron Mickey, -Asshole-, Keef and 10 others like this.
  49. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Had a coworker that during the first few months of his employment was doing the whole get to work super early to make a good impression thing. He didn’t know we were closed for one of the random federal holidays and got to the office around 7. Didn’t realize something was up until around 8 when he was still the only person there and security still hadn’t come around to turn on the main lighting.
     
  50. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    Wife wants to build a plant shelving system and has it all sketched out. She grew up tahlequa poor (think where the red fern grows) and her dad is a carpenter so she’s more than capable here. Asks if we can hit up lowes while running errands.

    We get there and the parking lot is day before Christmas packed. I stop at the front door and drop her off saying I’ll park and find her inside. Eventually find a parking spot and go inside to find her sitting on the display patio furniture immediately inside the entrance. I ask her if she’s already done shopping to which she responds “nope, I was waiting for you.”