Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue Mammoth Stabber
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    What user was championing people being in the kitchen underfoot in the holidays thread? Taylor? Get in here and chastise this man!
     
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  2. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    That looks like my wife’s closet.
     
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  3. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    In the group text. “It was way worse”

    what????
     
  4. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
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    Jumping in late to say that kids are absolutely worth the hassle (but your SO makes a huge difference in that equation)
     
  5. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    Kids ruin your life in the best way possible.
     
  6. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    I did that all by myself.
     
  7. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    This is like one of those games you see at a dive bar where you have to spot certain things.

    The Dunkin Donuts on top of a cup that looks like it's a person being trampled definitely stood out.
     
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  8. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    Good lord - she must be super hot to get away with this shit
     
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  9. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    On this weeks edition of homeless or hoarder
     
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  10. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    my kid is 3.5 and will get on to me for leaving my clothes on the floor bc my wife. I’m hoping her cleanliness continues to rub off on him
     
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  11. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    that'd be great bc then he can clean all your stuff for you
     
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  12. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    yeah. Im not like super dirty but after a shower I’ll occasionally leave my clothes on the floor and not put it up right away. It’s not quick enough for him.
     
    Lip likes this.
  13. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Wife is currently planting a garden in the backyard of a condo that we pay month/month and will likely exit within the next 2 months.

    I started with the "wtf" and shortly caved completely to a "whatever makes you enjoy the space"
     
  14. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    sassy 3.5 yo
     
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  15. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I've already mentally prepared myself for it but I can't imagine the amount of shit I'm about to have to deal with for MLS and gf to think it's ready for my parents to stay here.

    They're going to want it to look like the fucking Four Seasons and neither of my parents remotely care about that.
     
  16. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Those baseboards better be sparkling, pal
     
  17. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Brb, sending a black light to make sure everything's spotless
     
  18. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    My wife definitely hits a different stress level when it comes to cleaning before company comes over. I couldn’t imagine Throwing in an additional gf and her stress as well.

    god speed sir.
     
  19. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Please elaborate on how it was "Way worse" - I have to know at this point. Like was there an animal in the back or something?
     
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  20. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    You know i just discovered a new cleaning trigger, having a cleaning lady coming to your house.

    Mrs Tittymilk, “can you pre clean for the cleaning lady tomorrow?”

    Me the asshole “why am i cleaning up before the cleaner”

    Mrs Tittymilk “we are paying her 300 dollars to come deep clean the house”

    Me “ i don’t think you are making the argument you think you are”
     
  21. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    That's just a nice way of asking you to at least throw your dick sleeve in a drawer
     
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  22. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    the targeted ads now...
     
  23. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Every other Monday night “the cleaners are coming. We need to clean.”
     
  25. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    I was hoping your housekeeper was named Mrs. Tittymilk
     
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  26. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    she has started cleaning stuff before this picture
     
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  27. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    5:45 am
    Me, sleeping soundly.
    Wife: can you let the dog out he’s been bugging me all night and I already let him out several times.

    Ten minutes later
    Wife’s alarm goes off for work. I’m wide awake. Check the ring notifications, dog was let outside once at 1am. Apparently I’m the asshole for being annoyed.
     
  28. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Tbf she didn't say she let him out several times last night. Gotta stay sharp
     
  29. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I am wishing bad vibes upon you this day
     
  30. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    This is for a ~48 hour trip. There are 4 or so more bags by the middle seats too. The backpack is all my stuff.
    IMG_9759.jpeg
     
  31. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Gamechanger when your kids grow out of having to carry all that extra shit like a pack n play and stroller
     
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  32. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    my anxiety!
     
  33. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Mine's the opposite. The cleaning lady is coming in four days? Time to start just throwing clothes on the floor and leaving dirty dishes in the sink
     
    WillySaliba likes this.
  34. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
    Chicago CubsSt. Louis Blues

    Is that a shower mat under the turquoise bag?
     
  35. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Getting your moneys worth
     
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  36. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    next step is rooftop and or hitch box.
     
  37. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Already been discussed and will happen soon. It’s a good thing we decided to not bring the dogs cause I’m not sure they, crates, etc. would have fit.
     
  38. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Looks like a beach trip, and I wanna see the trip home pics.

    Why you ask?
    My wife packs the same way for trips and it's always a disaster of just shit everywhere on the return trip
     
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  39. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Water park trip at Disney. Actually came back with a decent bit less cause we had a birthday bbq for the kiddo so we had a bunch of food, decorations, etc. for that that all went straight to the trash after. I never saw the true benefit of those video rear-view mirrors until now. So glad my wifes car has it or else wouldn't be able to see shit on trips.
     
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  40. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    Realizing you need to pre-clean for the cleaning service is one of the final steps to adulthood.
     
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  41. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    It makes sense. Take care of some of the obvious stuff and they’ll have more time to deep clean stuff you don’t want to deal with.

    Cleaning service I used years ago was great but I couldn’t figure out why all my houseplants were dying. I figured out they were “helping” by watering the plants every time they came. So they were just sitting in like 5 inches of water.
     
  42. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    mine are good at cleaning but don't put much an effort into any organizing (i don't blame them). so if you leave a bunch of shit out they are just going to shove stuff in drawers and everything. it's especially complicated with the children's toys.
     
  43. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Apparently getting to every single roller derby practice takes precedent on doing a weekend away right now. Keep in mind I'm already doing a 5-hour round trip to drive her (and possibly some of her flakey ass teammates) to her game in London next weekend.

    Also on a seperate point, we sold my CR-V that I love for something with better MPG, and now that car is "our" car and HER car just sits in front of the house until I need to go somewhere at the same time, and then she complains I didn't drive as far as her so it's really not fair she had to take HER car. Keep in mind, her car is a manual and I don't have a manual license in the UK, so if she takes "our" car, I'm either stuck in the house or have to take my motorcycle, which has fuck all cargo capacity so that means I can't do any of my errands.
     
  44. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    You have to have an endorsement to drive a manual transmission in the UK?
     
  45. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    UK and EU yup. I could take the test but I'd have to spend a few hundred GBPs on driver training to learn how to shift left handed to a level acceptable to the drivers test people over here. And considering I just paid for my automatics test and my motorbike test, I am loath to pay for another one right now.

    Our new car also broke so whilst we were waiting to see if it was fixable / trading it in for a new one, I've had no car I can drive for almost a month.
     
  46. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    A day in the boat for us requires almost as much packing as most people's vacations. It's truly incredible. I love having 1000 bags and coolers all over equipment I need to get to.
     
  47. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    We drove some Land Rovers on private land there last year that were manual and it took some thinking to make it all happen that’s for sure.
     
  48. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    But yet you have motorcycle endorsement ?

    it is weird to drive manual with left hand. At least pedals are the same. Cuz that would be fucked
     
  49. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    manual left hand was p easy adjustment imo
     
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  50. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Different test, and it takes three different tests (at my age) to get it. It’s up to 5 or 6 tests if you start at 17. You have to do your Compulsory Basic Training (CBT) test with a certified instructor (this is the equivalent of the Basic Rider Course in the states, except you actually do some street riding). Then you have to do a Mod1 Test (low speed technical maneuvers at a test center) and a Mod2 (30-45 minute road test with some technical maneuvers while on the street), and depending on your age and experience level you might have to do the Mod1 and Mod2 more than once to move up engine sizes (CBT you can ride up to a 125cc, A2 up to I think 500, A is unrestricted).

    For driving it’s a 45-60min road test and you have to do the maneuvers live on the road.