Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
    Staff Donor

    im the exact opposite of that stereotype

    always funny
     
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  2. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Update from this post from February: said mirror that was needed for the master is still leaning against the wall in my office
     
  3. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Wife notifies me at 2am that my parents are coming into town for the weekend and even though they were fine getting a hotel she encouraged them it was fine to stay with us.

    I may get a hotel for myself.
     
  4. CoastalOrange

    CoastalOrange Well-Known Member
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    I bought my first house in late August 2022. Sent my parents the Zillow listing, finished up signing the papers, went and checked out the house, and then called them to tell them I had closed on it (abt 4 hrs later).

    First interaction-
    CO Mom: it looks nice. Does it have a garage?

    CO: no ma'am, it doesn't. (kind of annoyed bc I had sent them the Zillow listing hours earlier and clearly didn't show any sort of garage).

    CO Mom: oh, well could you add a garage?

    CO: I mean I guess so but I just bought the house, probably don't need to spend that money right now.

    CO Mom: that's fair. What about a carport? Does it have one of those with it?

    CO: Mom, did you look at the listing I sent? It clearly doesn't.

    CO Mom: well if you don't want the garage, could you add a carport?

    CO: *frustrated* I don't know Mom. Maybe, I guess. But can we please move on from where my car will be spending it's nights and discuss where I will be spending my nights?

    After one or two comments abt the house.

    CO Mom: I looked at the listing and I'm sure you have space for a garage.

    CO: Mom, I'm not worried abt it!

    CO Mom: Well it's something you should think about.


    Mind you, in my entire life, we have never used our garage for anything other than storage. No free space except a walking path through it because so much junk is piled up everywhere.
     
    #18004 CoastalOrange, Jun 8, 2023
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2023
  5. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    August 2023? You don't need a garage where you're going
     
  6. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    so are we ruling out the garage? Think we might want to explore this a little more at this point
     
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  7. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    Not my wife but I’m not sure how my wife shares DNA with this person. This is my SiL car. Granted they are half sisters but this is crazy. 22 years old about to graduate from college.

    IMG_4984.jpeg
     
  8. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    That’s pretty impressive. That coke cup is just holding on for dear life
     
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  9. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    I appreciate the irony of an unopened shoe organizer stuffed in the middle of that mess
     
  10. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    Jesus Christ
     
  11. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    Penn State Nittany LionsNew York YankeesGreen Bay Packers

    god damn. My wife and I get busy w the kids and we have their shit to shlep around, and it gets bad for my standard but that’s impressive
     
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  12. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue Mammoth Stabber
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    What user was championing people being in the kitchen underfoot in the holidays thread? Taylor? Get in here and chastise this man!
     
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  13. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    That looks like my wife’s closet.
     
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  14. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    In the group text. “It was way worse”

    what????
     
  15. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
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    Jumping in late to say that kids are absolutely worth the hassle (but your SO makes a huge difference in that equation)
     
  16. Biff Bridges

    Biff Bridges The words. You are good with the words man
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    Kids ruin your life in the best way possible.
     
  17. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    I did that all by myself.
     
  18. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    This is like one of those games you see at a dive bar where you have to spot certain things.

    The Dunkin Donuts on top of a cup that looks like it's a person being trampled definitely stood out.
     
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  19. Lip

    Lip Well-Endowed Member
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    Detroit Lions


    Good lord - she must be super hot to get away with this shit
     
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  20. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Upstanding Citizen
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    On this weeks edition of homeless or hoarder
     
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  21. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    my kid is 3.5 and will get on to me for leaving my clothes on the floor bc my wife. I’m hoping her cleanliness continues to rub off on him
     
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  22. Lip

    Lip Well-Endowed Member
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    Detroit Lions

    that'd be great bc then he can clean all your stuff for you
     
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  23. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    yeah. Im not like super dirty but after a shower I’ll occasionally leave my clothes on the floor and not put it up right away. It’s not quick enough for him.
     
    Lip likes this.
  24. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Wife is currently planting a garden in the backyard of a condo that we pay month/month and will likely exit within the next 2 months.

    I started with the "wtf" and shortly caved completely to a "whatever makes you enjoy the space"
     
  25. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    sassy 3.5 yo
     
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  26. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    I've already mentally prepared myself for it but I can't imagine the amount of shit I'm about to have to deal with for MLS and gf to think it's ready for my parents to stay here.

    They're going to want it to look like the fucking Four Seasons and neither of my parents remotely care about that.
     
  27. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    Those baseboards better be sparkling, pal
     
  28. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Upstanding Citizen
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    Brb, sending a black light to make sure everything's spotless
     
  29. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta United

    My wife definitely hits a different stress level when it comes to cleaning before company comes over. I couldn’t imagine Throwing in an additional gf and her stress as well.

    god speed sir.
     
  30. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Please elaborate on how it was "Way worse" - I have to know at this point. Like was there an animal in the back or something?
     
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  31. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta United

    You know i just discovered a new cleaning trigger, having a cleaning lady coming to your house.

    Mrs Tittymilk, “can you pre clean for the cleaning lady tomorrow?”

    Me the asshole “why am i cleaning up before the cleaner”

    Mrs Tittymilk “we are paying her 300 dollars to come deep clean the house”

    Me “ i don’t think you are making the argument you think you are”
     
  32. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    That's just a nice way of asking you to at least throw your dick sleeve in a drawer
     
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  33. Boom TittyMilk

    Boom TittyMilk User Formerly known as Big R
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    the targeted ads now...
     
  34. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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  35. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Every other Monday night “the cleaners are coming. We need to clean.”
     
  36. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Upstanding Citizen
    Donor

    I was hoping your housekeeper was named Mrs. Tittymilk
     
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  37. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    Florida State SeminolesAtlanta HawksAtlanta Falcons

    she has started cleaning stuff before this picture
     
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  38. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    5:45 am
    Me, sleeping soundly.
    Wife: can you let the dog out he’s been bugging me all night and I already let him out several times.

    Ten minutes later
    Wife’s alarm goes off for work. I’m wide awake. Check the ring notifications, dog was let outside once at 1am. Apparently I’m the asshole for being annoyed.
     
  39. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Tbf she didn't say she let him out several times last night. Gotta stay sharp
     
  40. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I am wishing bad vibes upon you this day
     
  41. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    This is for a ~48 hour trip. There are 4 or so more bags by the middle seats too. The backpack is all my stuff.
    IMG_9759.jpeg
     
  42. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    Gamechanger when your kids grow out of having to carry all that extra shit like a pack n play and stroller
     
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  43. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    my anxiety!
     
  44. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Mine's the opposite. The cleaning lady is coming in four days? Time to start just throwing clothes on the floor and leaving dirty dishes in the sink
     
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  45. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
    Chicago CubsSt. Louis Blues

    Is that a shower mat under the turquoise bag?
     
  46. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Getting your moneys worth
     
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  47. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    next step is rooftop and or hitch box.
     
  48. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Already been discussed and will happen soon. It’s a good thing we decided to not bring the dogs cause I’m not sure they, crates, etc. would have fit.
     
  49. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Looks like a beach trip, and I wanna see the trip home pics.

    Why you ask?
    My wife packs the same way for trips and it's always a disaster of just shit everywhere on the return trip
     
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  50. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Water park trip at Disney. Actually came back with a decent bit less cause we had a birthday bbq for the kiddo so we had a bunch of food, decorations, etc. for that that all went straight to the trash after. I never saw the true benefit of those video rear-view mirrors until now. So glad my wifes car has it or else wouldn't be able to see shit on trips.
     
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