Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Hell yea, big win overall
    I'm sitting here at home watching football, just cracked beer #3, bout to start some wings on the smoker

    I was smiling the whole time unloading all the shit from her car
     
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  2. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    it’s the small wins haha
     
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  3. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    "I'm so late - can you set us up at sugarfish for 12:30."

    They started a raw vegan diet yesterday.
     
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  4. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Most of my wife's friends are vegetarian or vegan.

    The vegetarians are ok, I can work around that and we eat veggie most nights of the week. I don't see how I could be vegan. Not being able to use butter or milk or eggs is FAAAR to much of a pain in the ass to live that way. Especially eggs, since around here you can just buy them from your neighbour down the road with a chicken coop in their back garden larger and less densely populated than most London flats; it's not exactly "industrial farming hellscape" eggs.
     
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  5. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I'm assuming they're just caving already but if they go to a Beverly Hills sushi restaurant and pull the cauliflower rice and mushroom bullshit I'm not going to be happy.
     
  6. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    That’s what my question was on choice of restaurant
     
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  7. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Also I don’t the the BH location takes rezies
     
  8. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    That's the worst part is I know the GM so I'm definitely getting a text about it if they pull anything difficult. That's why she asked me to set it up.
     
  9. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    You should just plan for the text on their shenanigans
     
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  10. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I'm not worried about MLS - but I have no clue who the two other girls are.

    So yes I'm fully expecting a text of some kind.
     
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  11. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Separate note - 55 packages? I realize women order a lot of stuff due to free returns - but 55?
     
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  12. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    :rules:
     
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  13. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    She's in a meeting and I'm assuming there is some form of explanation here - but I will absolutely post a photo of the fort assembled outside my door if I get 55 packages delivered.

    It's probably a bunch of uniforms/outfits for one of her venues if I had to guess.
     
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  14. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Lady Tegg ordered 25+ dresses with plans to return the ones she didn’t like, and only 5 arrived. It was a nightmare sorting all of it out staring down the barrel at a five figure credit card bill when this story hit:

    https://www.al.com/news/2024/01/for...in-alabama-ravine-in-2021.html?outputType=amp

    American Express covered it, and then about a year later we were contacted that they recovered the packages in the ravine.
     
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  15. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    :roll::roll:
     
  16. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    that's amazing.
     
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  17. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    What can a dress cost? $15?
     
  18. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    :laugh:
     
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  19. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    The try-on hauls are always hilarious.

    Hey, are you busy? I have these 30 outfits that I urgently need your opinion on but will immediately disregard your thoughts about.
     
  20. The Milkman

    The Milkman Send lawyers, guns and money, shit has hit the fan
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    I wonder how much more markup womens clothing companies are adding to their items as a result of return/shipping abuse. I know quite a few females who do the same thing. This can't be good for their bottom line.

    Shipping both ways, restocking, etc. That's a lot of cost
     
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  21. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    Tell me your wife shops on SHEIN without telling me your wife shops on SHEIN.
     
  22. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    The amount of shit they forget to return on time or misplace probably increases the bottom line significantly.
     
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  23. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    I wish. I was doing the arrest development banana bit
     
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  24. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I've had to break down more damn fashionova boxes than you can imagine.
     
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  25. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    A few months ago my wife ordered like 25 pairs of jeans on fashionova because they were like $5 each or something. I think she’s worn like 4-5 of them.
     
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  26. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Some of the best was when we would need to order outfits for an event or promotion and I would get a text from the office manager of the apartment complex - hey, were you expecting 40 packages from a Foreplay.com?
     
  27. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    It's way too much hassle to ship things here and try ship them back in a timely fashion so I don't have this phenomenon in my life #blessed
     
  28. The Hebrew Husker

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    This isn’t stupid per se, but it’s impressive how often she says she doesn’t need something at the store then texts me within 5 minutes of me leaving.

    This usually includes a “I’m about to check out need anything?” text that she responds to 15 minutes later while I’m in the car.
     
  29. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    This is every wife known to man.
     
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  30. The Hebrew Husker

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    Yeah, figured no chance this was an outlier.
     
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  31. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    Yes x 1000.

    me at 7am: im running to the grocery store today at lunchtime, add things to the list if you want me to pick anything up.

    her: k.

    me at 1130: leaving for the grocery store, will be there in 10.

    her: sounds good.

    me halfway thru shopping: I’m almost done (giving myself a little buffer). Last call.

    her at 3pm: sorry, I got distracted, can you please get the following… she proceeds to list off 20 things via text and not even with the list app we share
     
  32. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    she better be super hot
     
  33. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Talking to my wife who I haven’t seen all day while she’s making dinner - wrong

    Hanging out upstairs checking my socials to give her space - somehow, also wrong.
     
  34. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Yeah I realize this is “cohabitation: Day 1” level stuff
     
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  35. Keef

    Keef Liked by Pierre Gasly
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    Why are you relaxing when she's working hard getting dinner ready? You should have read her mind and taken care of that other unspoken task. Get it together
     
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  36. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    no matter what I do after work I’m an asshole
     
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  37. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    and during work

    and before work
     
  38. VASooner

    VASooner Well-Known Member
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    I love this board so much
     
  39. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
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    I got a pretty decent cut on my finger working in nasty sitting water so I ran inside to clean it, bandage, etc.
    “Wheres all the medical stuff, I just cut my finger kind of bad”

    You should have been wearing gloves

    AH WOW THANKS LET ME HOP IN MY TIME MACHINE AND GO PUT THEM ON
     
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  40. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Wife just came home, after some other shit she didn't do because she ran into some friends bullshit.
    Package in the mail included a pair of shoes she bought for me. Not bad looking, I might wear, but the package clearly says they are size 12.
    I am a minimum size 14. 15 in some brands, especially cheap knock off brands like these look to be.
    She informs me they are made in Mexico, so the sizes are different, and proceeds to tell me they are double extra wide too.
    Literally can tell by looking at them there is no fucking way they are fitting my foot.
    Hold them up next to my regular shoes, my shoes are over two inches longer and obviously much wider

    Of course I'm an asshole who wouldn't go get a sock to try and force this fucking shoe on my foot
     
  41. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    You gotta go full Chris Farley and tear those things at the seems trying them on.
     
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  42. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    The damn finger hole on the heel pull thingy wasn't even big enough to get my finger in or o damn sure would have

    I figure these cheap ass things couldn't have cost more than $25, but my fear is that they cost much more
     
  43. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    Wow! Upset at your wife from trying to up your style from your normal shoes?
    [​IMG]

    Now Ive seen it all!
     
  44. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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  45. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    This may belong more in the cool shit wives/gfs do but nonetheless this has been quite a few times now this has happened where they will have someone staying over that wanders out of the spare room/converted closet and scares the shit out of me.

    I get home and put the tv on and a dog trots out of the bedroom. We don't own a dog. I have no idea yet if they adopted it or if we're just dog sitting again.
     
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  46. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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  47. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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  48. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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