Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Plan b would be to catch the 5.7 and set up a trap for the 4.8
     
    Lip likes this.
  2. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Realistic outcome of an attempted mugging in my current hood is getting an ass kicking from the ridiculously in shape gay neighbors that are seemingly on some varietal of walks or jogs 24/7.
     
  3. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    I would simply put it a fake turtle with money on its back
     
  4. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    We all know the only chance they have of getting close to that turtle is if the neice has a broken leg or not around. Solid strategy
     
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  5. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I did get a laugh this morning thinking about how much of a nightmare my place would be to stakeout for a home robbery.

    "How many damn people live here?"

    "I've seen 4 dog breeds and a cat in the last week, fuck this"
     
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  6. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    I was leaving in my car this morning and noticed my wife’s rear gate for our SUV was left open. It looked like she tried to close it but something was in the way of the latch so it popped back open and she had already walked away. I closed it and ran to Starbucks. When my son and I were leaving for futsal a couple hours later I noticed a bushy tail waving around by the windshield. Apparently there was a squirrel inside checking things out when I closed the gate this morning.
     
  7. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    :roll::roll:
     
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  8. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    I was serious until I typed the words ‘catch a flight to la’ you can’t realistically have enough money on you for me to go through this bullshit
     
  9. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    what is futsal
     
  10. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    hard court soccer basically with smaller teams - we have a lot of it here
     
  11. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Great, another new millennial Olympic sport
     
  12. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I think for LA it's more of a lack of space and huge latino population, for our Minnesota poster that mentioned it it's likely due to it being cold as balls and you can play indoors.
     
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  13. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    do you even Ronaldinho bro?
     
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  14. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I wish
    upload_2024-11-17_16-10-20.gif
     
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  15. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    seriously though, he learned soccer late, it was all futsal. which is why he can do that
     
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  16. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    makes sense, kind of like hockey players playing in Europe on the bigger ice.

    3 on 3 might actually make sense to develop more skills
     
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  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    It's just mini indoor soccer
    Why people gotta give things names I'll never get
     
  18. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    That doesn’t make any sense
     
  19. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Because the inventor of it was Portuguese and it was futebol de salao

    Fucking Americans smh

    edit: I guess you can't say inventor - first main proponent :idk:
     
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  20. SpartanGA

    SpartanGA Well-Known Member
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    Michigan State Spartans

    Looks like it pronounced footsie
     
  21. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Literally translates to "indoor soccer", which is what it is.
    It's not some different new sport that was invented
     
    IHHH likes this.
  22. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    “Stupid shit TMB argues about”
     
  23. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    It's as different as baseball and softball are
     
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  24. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    The demographics of those that play are probably similar here. My son was the only white kid on his team last year.
     
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  25. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    Foot-Saul
     
  26. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    In the winter, we play 7on7 soccer on the turf in a warehouse with a regular ball and regular goals and call it indoor soccer.
    We also play 4on4 soccer on a hard court with a ball that doesn’t bounce and no headers, throw ins, or sliding and call it futsal.
     
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  27. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    Also, no offsides which makes it cooler.

    I find it more fun to watch futsal because it’s a faster pace to the game.
     
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  28. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    upload_2024-11-17_17-36-24.gif
     
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  29. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Back to more on topic to Rabid 's initial story - I've had a raccoon in the cab before but he just ran out the second the door was opened and no drama.

    Friend of mine had a bird that apparently got stuck in his car for a few days unbeknownst to them and upon opening the door it went into full attack mode.

    The level of blindside that has to be to just open your door to head to work and get mauled by a tiny ass bird.
     
  30. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Question to the girls:

    How do you think you would do if someone attempted to rob/mug you?

    MLS: Who is the person trying to rob me?

    GF: Probably start making some threats

    Welp fellas, it's been a fun ride. lol
     
    Keef likes this.
  31. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    NHL vs Olympic ice is nowhere near the same comparison
     
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  32. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    It was a shaky comparison but the point still stands
     
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  33. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Wife's friend: "Hey, MLS said y'all have the same washer and dryer and that you would know how to fix it."

    Ok, it's not even close to my birthday but I'll play along.

    Are you currently stuck in it?

    "No, it just keeps saying CL"

    You have to take the child-lock off - just call me when you're doing it and I'll walk you through

    :awshucks:
     
  34. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Minnesota Golden Gophers

    3-on-3 is a good comparison. Youth hockey does it in the spring/off-season here because of increased touches and space for learning.

    The futsal is for skill development too. Fewer players, more touches in tight spacing so you have to get really good with your footwork. The ball is smaller which I believe helps develop that too. Specific to my son, he is really quick and can get away with long dribbles that are basically passing to himself and outrunning opponents on a big [soccer] field. Futsal forces him to have a tighter handle. It has also made his kick really quick to get it off in a tight space. His leg isn’t that strong relative to peers but the last couple years he has scored the most goals on his team because he can get it on goal quickly.
     
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  35. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Futsal has been great for my son too. Definitely rewards developing high IQ passing and movement versus just being bigger and faster than the other team.
     
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  36. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Wife’s computer crashed today with like 40 porn tabs open - guess who gets to take it to the repair place!!

    upload_2024-11-18_15-16-5.png
     
  37. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    New Orleans PelicansNew Orleans SaintsMississippi Rebels

    Guy is probably going to be very confused by the tab roster but it does at least say MLS’s (actual name) computer - which may confuse him more.

    anyways, should be a blast.
     
  38. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Was underwhelming - they just close all the software/apps out before seeing it. I was hoping for a ridiculous moment.
     
  39. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Does she just not bookmark her fave's? That's what I do
     
  40. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Women go down more porn watching rabbit holes than you can imagine - have had this convo with a bunch of gfs and it’s a consistent thing.
     
    dump likes this.
  41. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    Maybe I don't understand the porn viewing habits of women, but more than 1 tab seems excessive. Let alone 40.
     
    Iron Mickey likes this.
  42. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Allow me to illuminate you here (and obviously my female friend group is not the norm but I’ve heard this from pretty much all my female friends)

    They’ll click on one video and if one girl is cute, they need to see like 50 other videos she’s done.

    Just think of how they operate on Instagram and it’s pretty similar.
     
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  43. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    These chicks are degens
     
  44. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    I just assumed she opened multiple windows so she could play them all at once for a cacophony of orgasm noises
     
  45. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    I thought having a bunch of tabs open was pretty normal...
     
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  46. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
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    I do this I just do it in the same window. If I need to go back to the original or the full listing I just hit the back button :idk: seems easier than sifting through 50 tabs
     
  47. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    Some people also just leave dozens of tabs open at once, porn or otherwise

    if I ever use my wife’s computer, I am horrified to find she has 50+ tabs open for various things and she gets pissed if I close any of them
     
  48. The Milkman

    The Milkman Send lawyers, guns and money, shit has hit the fan
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    it triggers me when i see a browser with 20+ tabs open
     
  49. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    My anxiety starts crushing me at 3 tabs. How do some of you people live.
     
  50. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    Just looking at my browser and thinking I'm not doing bad right now and I have 20 open. It's usually more. Also have edge and chrome with at least 5-7 on each of those right now. None of it is porn.