Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Exactly, you're one fake work call away from enjoying Santa Fe which is an awesome city and you already have someone to watch the kids in house.
     
  2. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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  3. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Wife flew out a few days ago, I was solo to meet them (and maybe why I got drunk)

    we are likely flying out of different airports and meeting in Dallas. That’s when I make my move
     
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  4. THEBLUERAIDER

    THEBLUERAIDER Well-Known Member
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    That chicken on the sister shubert yeast rolls were so good.
     
  5. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    There is comfort in knowing exactly what you’re getting in an unfamiliar city and Panda Express is pretty progressive for a boomer to order, what’s the problem
     
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  6. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    if a single person likes this terrible post I will delete Bert’s account
     
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  7. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    Thank you Fat Drunk & Stupid for doing the lords work
     
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  8. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    im going to honest, while it was an insanely bad take. I am glad we finally got rid of Bert
     
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  9. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Best neighborhood restaurants you say "Food and Wine" - Panda it is!!
     
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  10. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Man I love it when the in laws go with us on vacation. On site babysitting is the best
     
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  11. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    blind dog get you to boxcar or vicino
    Both places are repeat hits for us in santa fe
     
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  12. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    I’m pretty sure he’s still stuffed full of orange chicken and shitty lo mein noodles.
     
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  13. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    The Sante Fe Airbnb is obviously cover for blind dog ’s medical tourism. He’s in Juarez right now getting beard hair plugs.
     
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  14. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    The fuck was this, an intervention?
     
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  15. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Well this one ranks up there - at least for me:

    "Remember we have to go to Riyadh on the 23rd so you don't have to pack or anything but just start figuring out what you want to bring"

    We're doing what? Literally have not discussed this a single time prior to getting hit with that.
     
  16. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Wife and I did the shopping list a few days ago. I put it into the delivery app, and yesterday it arrived. My wife asked why we had so much edamame delivered. I said cuz you put 700g on the list. She said no I put 100g. Apparently this is a 1.

    PXL_20250305_103357660.MP~2.jpg
     
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  17. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Is 700 grams a lot or something? How many hamburgers is 700 grams?
     
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  18. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I mean it's like a pound and a half approx. That's a strong edamame roster.
     
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  19. Connor Norman

    Connor Norman Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    About 1.5 pounds, so 6 quarter pounders without cheese.
     
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  20. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    About 1.5lbs. Which is a lot but I thought it would be a salad or something
     
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  21. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    In related news we are now eating edamame as work snacks for the rest of the week
     
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  22. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    That’s a 7 but I always say never trust a Brit
     
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  23. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
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    Omg lol this is so dumb!!
     
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  24. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    that's a bad 1 which is why I always draw the line in the middle of my 7s. does she ordinarily do that?
     
  25. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    She does yes. That was her rationale.
     
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  26. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    This is a 7. But it’s not far from how I saw Germans write a 1.
     
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  27. Clemson327

    Clemson327 Well-Known Member
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    That’s the first thing that came to mind for me.
     
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  28. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Isn’t the line across a 7 a Europe thing?
     
  29. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    For me it’s a “I have serial killer handwriting” thing.
     
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  30. soulfly

    soulfly Well-Known Member
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    How hard is it to just write a straight line? Not like someone’s gonna look at it and think “what’s L00g mean?!”
     
    #21531 soulfly, Mar 6, 2025
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2025
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  31. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
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    I almost never park in the garage but the few times I do she parks right fucking behind me. We have a huge driveway. When confronted, she was apparently so flustered that I was in her spot that I guess her brain stopped processing and that was the only place she could feasibly park.
     
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  32. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    1 or 7?
    IMG_2733.jpeg
     
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  33. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    10 is the level of mad I would be if I just jumped in that car

    And I would be super pissed off the whole time i was putting gas in it too
     
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  34. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    She told me if she was going to take our daughter to school in the morning she needed gas. So I chose the far easier option and just prayed as I drove to the gas station.

    My daughter in the morning is a terrorist on a good day. This time the day after her birthday and with the time change it’s gonna be a nightmare
     
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  35. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
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    When I look at that I see a person looking away from an elephant top right and R2-D2 talking to a puppy bottom left and just enjoying my drive.
     
  36. The Hebrew Husker

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    Not really a “stupid” thing but I’m still annoyed because of the result and there’s not really a spot to put this ha.

    We are going on vacation the day after Easter. I was undercover smug thinking that would get me out of having to travel to the in laws for a holiday I don’t celebrate. Anyways, I get home from the store today and she mentioned she was talking to her dad and said “what’s the plan for Easter, we won’t be able to come” then he mentioned her mom was trying to get her sister to host. So my fiancé volunteers to host, which I instantly said “why”…our house’s floorplan isn’t the best for a large group (and I don’t want to).

    Within like 15 minutes of that she’s telling me how her mom is texting the family saying they need to find a different day to celebrate and “any day would work” and how my fiancé offered to host. She told me I could say no if I really didn’t want to, but I told her I wasn’t falling for that trap so just do what she needs to do. Apparently they’ll be in town next weekend so maybe if they sense my “excitement” they’ll switch the plan (they won’t).

    I told her that phone call was a quick 0/2.
     
    #21537 The Hebrew Husker, Mar 9, 2025
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2025
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  37. The Hebrew Husker

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    And before anyone chimes in, yes I know I’m being an asshole, yes I know it shouldn’t bother me, yes I know whatever other rational opinion there is. It’s mostly that they’ve never had a thought they didn’t feel needed to be said out loud, so after about an hour of terrible takes and complaining about the dumbest stuff I usually have to go find another room before I lose my mind.
     
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  38. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    I'd have a nice roster of fake zoom calls that you "have to take" if the family is annoying.

    Hell, I said I couldn't get a consistent enough signal for my zoom calls and just went to Daiquiris and Cream for like 3 hours one Thanksgiving.
     
  39. The Hebrew Husker

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    Ha, unfortunately that would make what I was trying to do way too obvious. It’s like the only thing we “fight” about so I usually just complain about it at first then just go along with whatever dumb shit they have planned hoping I don’t have to participate the full time. Wouldn’t be so bad if the parents didn’t act like their kids are still 12. They’re the complete opposite of normal empty nesters that spend that time doing their own thing. Instead I think their only hobby is wishing their kids never got older and making all too frequent trips to spend the weekend with us. Thank god her sibling gave them a grandkid to keep them distracted so it’s slowed down the frequency of visits to every 4-6 weeks lol
     
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  40. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    MLS posted it in the egg thread already but I had completely forgotten about this shitshow.

    What do you have today babe? - "Well apparently there are a couple Anconas that I just HAVE to see so I'm about to drive 50 minutes to facetime her with fucking chickens"

     
  41. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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    Not being an asshole at all. You need the weekend free to watch Nebraska in the Big 10 Tournament.

    :ballin::awesomeface:
     
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  42. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    There's literally no such thing as a non-GMO chicken - they've all been selectively bred for 5000 years. Unless they're getting red junglefowl from SE Asia.
     
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  43. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
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    But it’s ok if it was done sorta accidentally through human selection. Only scary if we actually know what we’re doing and make selective specific selective changes because mother nature or something.
     
  44. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    It means they aren't fed GMO crops - but we don't have any chickens with adjusted DNA currently in the U.S.

    GMO cows we've had in circulation for a couple of years.
     
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  45. The Hebrew Husker

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    Ha, funny enough before the game Sunday I told her I reserve the right to not be available if Nebraska makes a miraculous run through the B10 tournament. Then told her the chances they even make it were about 0.1%
     
  46. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    100 hours is a lot of cock work. Old partner must be a gooner.
     
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  47. MLS

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    I also had to go pick up a turkey from Compton with a stripper once. A client had convinced one of our servers with a bunch of different photoshops that he had an emotional support turkey he was flying in with so I had to find a last minute turkey and randomly one of the Deja Vu girls owned turkeys in Compton and she was willing to let us borrow Tiberius for a couple days.

    upload_2025-3-11_11-33-50.png
     
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  48. MLS

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    Multiple purchases I had to transport to the house also, I don't know if you've had to drive extensively with chickens in the vehicle before but It's not pleasant.

    The turkey just chilled in the back seat and seemed to be enjoying the music.
     
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  49. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    I had a pet chicken that I won at a carnival game booth. It was just a little chick when I got her. The neighbor who lived behind us was an old Cuban guy who grew up out in the country. He wound up taking the chicken off our hands when she got big. Then one day he ate her. That’s about the extent of my chicken experience.
     
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