"I already felt horrible(having not voiced this or apologized, naturally), why are you being so mean about it? I didn't do this to you(you did) when you were an asshole 37 days ago"
she had the dream. I did something stupid in it, then she woke up and was mad at me the whole day for what I did in the dream I was like What The Fuck
GF needed some cash yesterday. I told her to take some out of my wallet. Woke up this morning and can't find my wallet. Finally shoot her a text and ask if she knows where it is. Her: Oh no, I have it in my purse. Me: WTF? Her: Well I just grabbed it to take with me yesterday and forgot to take it back out of my purse. Do you want to kill me? Me: Yes She is out of town for three days and I have no license, no credit cards and no cash and about two gallons of gas in my truck. Luckily the bank allowed me to take out a little cash today after begging and pleading for 30 mins.
holy fuck this has to be one of the dumber things I have ever seen. This is also why I keep a couple hundred dollars stashed in my apt in case I ever lose my wallet
you should absolutely not tell her the bank let you do that, tell her you are out of gas and going to have to take Uber to work and back every day and hope there is enough bread and sandwich meat in the house you can live off of
Haven't told her yet. I might wait until after work and tell her I ran out of gas on the way home and am stuck on the side of the road. You know, teachable moments and whatnot...
Wife: I couldn't sleep last night. I did some laundry while I was awake so at least I was productive. Me: That sucks about not sleeping. Thanks for doing laundry though. I'm no dummy so I go downstairs to check her work. Yup. Just as I suspected. Wet clothes in the washing machine. I don't even jagsfan anymore.
some shit on tv had some Tuskegee Airmen come out on stage, introduced by Tom Hanks, Obama in the audience and Colin Powell came out to greet them all then Tom Hanks greeted them behind Colin, and she thought for the first angle that it was Obama
Cooking dinner last night Her: "Ew why did you get onions? I don't like onions." Me: "What are you talking about?" Her: "You have an onion." Me: "Uhh....do you know what garlic looks like?" Teachable moments. She's very bright, cooking just isn't her thing.
Wife and I work in the same building, but she works at home 95% of the time and comes into the office once every two weeks. There's a security officer at the front desk that asks everyone trivia questions as they walk into work each morning. Today's question: What are the highest and lowest points in the United States? Wife: "highest? Mount Everest?" Me: (stares at her while security guy tries not to laugh)... "that's in Nepal" Wife: "Mount Rushmore?" Me: "alright let's just go inside. It's Mount McKinley" Security guy: "how about lowest?" Wife: "Utah?" Me: "it's Death Valley" Wife: "isn't that where Marilyn Manson lived?" Me: "that would be Charles Manson"
Yeah, my wife has been saying intelligent things like, "that doesn't seem like it should be legal" and "that appointee really doesn't seem qualified for that position at all."
Fiancee tells me stuff like "you shouldn't argue with people on Facebook about politics" and I know she's right but I don't want to hear it so I guess I'm the idiot.