Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    yes "family bag" is not a term I usually use but I wanted something to imply that it wasn't specifically her bag.
     
  2. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    You thought wrong, and she proved otherwise.
     
    One Two, Clemson327, Baron and 16 others like this.
  3. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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  4. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    I even bought it! Told her I’m going to put it on the top shelf going forward. That’ll show her.
     
  5. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    bruce bowen likes this.
  6. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    This wouldn’t even be a discussion if there were a granola just for men
     
  7. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta Braves

    Just pitched Granola for Men to my boss at Black Rifle the other day.
     
    -Asshole-, Tobias, One Two and 20 others like this.
  8. zeberdee

    zeberdee wheel snipe celly boys
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    it’s why I only put beef jerky in my yogurt
     
  9. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

    Old Spice Swagger Granola
     
    One Two, Clemson327 and Brocephus like this.
  10. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Thank you for your kindness
     
  11. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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  12. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    upload_2025-5-14_21-27-57.jpeg

    “granola used to be oats and sugar, not berries, hemp seeds and agave nectar”
     
    The Guglia, One Two, Rabid and 5 others like this.
  13. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
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  14. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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  15. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Atlanta BravesDenver BroncosChicago BlackhawksBirmingham LegionMississippi Rebels

    Remember Dr. Pepper Ten (Not for Women)?
     
    Tobias, One Two, shawnoc and 7 others like this.
  16. MLS

    MLS Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay BuccaneersMississippi Rebels

    I did not, but the marketing campaign of it being badass because it had more calories than Diet Dr. Pepper is pretty hilarious (not as in great marketing, just pretty hilarious they went with 10 bold new calories as crux of their pitch)

     
    #22066 MLS, May 15, 2025
    Last edited: May 15, 2025
    One Two, wes tegg and shawnoc like this.
  17. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    dr. pepper zero slaps.
     
  18. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    Marriage.
     
  19. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    Kids asked for McDonald’s and my wife said “I don’t need any fries, I’ll just have a few of yours. Only get four fries.”
    We get the food home and my son dumps his fries on the floor while taking them out of the bag.
    She tells him, “Don’t worry. You can have mine. I didn’t want fries anyway.”
     
  20. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMontreal Canadiens

    I am now craving a McDonald poutine

    upload_2025-5-18_15-58-37.jpeg
     
    soulfly, ARCO, One Two and 3 others like this.
  21. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    This is stupid shit you do. Never, ever listen to a wife who says they don’t want fries.
     
  22. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Yea, I was pretty sure that story was gunna end with her eating all of Shawn's fries
     
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  23. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    good opportunity to dole out 4 fries and give him his first lesson on women
     
  24. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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  25. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    In our case, it almost always winds up with her giving away my food to a child instead of eating it herself. She’d rather starve herself (and me) than have one of our kids not be full after a meal.
     
  26. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    Every morning the wife and kids line up in the kitchen while I retrieve the family granola bag from the safe in my closet. They hold out their hands and I give each of them their daily granola allowance before returning it to the safe. It’s everyone’s favorite part of the day and prevents anyone from absconding from home with the family granola bag.
     
  27. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    When your wife visits her work husband and sees his granola isn't under lock and key

    [​IMG]
     
  28. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
    Donor

    I keep the family granola bag next to the family pack of condoms
     
  29. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Guys I think we are making light of the family granola bag thing. I went to the grocery store and granola is as expensive as eggs. We can’t as a society have people filling up on granola; we need to force them to eat less expensive stuff like $1 fries from McDonalds to fill up and the granola is the topper.
     
  30. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    This is why the family granola bag belongs under lock and key until it is being responsibly rationed out.
     
  31. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Amen brother!
     
    shawnoc and One Two like this.
  32. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    I’m here for the family granola, not your personal granola. Your granola is insured by the federal government.

    upload_2025-5-19_9-35-19.png
     
  33. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    I hope Snakes had FGIC coverage on his family bag.
     
  34. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    she brought the family bag home actually
     
  35. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Bought one of these for my granola. Its become a great revenue source. My kid was so excited the tooth fairy came today so he could afford granola for the week.
    upload_2025-5-19_9-47-44.png
     
  36. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
    Donor

    I take your granola.

    Screen_Shot_2021-01-29_at_1.45.02_pm.original.png
     
  37. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    overrated dish. By a lot.
     
  38. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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    The 2nd text should have probably been included in the 1st text...

    Screenshot_20250519_180529_Messages.jpg
     
  39. scissors

    scissors My goodness, who doesn't just love a fat beaver?
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    Colorado BuffaloesAtlanta Falcons

    The last 6-8 weeks have been absurdly expensive in my house. We are fortunate to be able to get through a quarter like this, but it is not fun eating such large (expected and unexpected) expenses.

    $10k tax bill
    $10k vacations for the year
    $8k hardwood refinishing
    $5k plumbing issues
    $4k medical expenses

    My wife’s response to my stress: “Calm down. I’ll just get a job that pays more.”

    Oh. Didn’t realize that was an option.
     
    Baron, Russellin4885, Ralph and 31 others like this.
  40. Lip

    Lip Unemployed in Greenland
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    no candles?
     
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  41. scissors

    scissors My goodness, who doesn't just love a fat beaver?
    Donor TMB OG
    Colorado BuffaloesAtlanta Falcons

    Thank you for asking.

    IMG_1346.jpeg
     
  42. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
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    Just PLAN IT asshole, she needs those
     
    Brocephus, shawnoc, Lip and 3 others like this.
  43. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    Clemson327, Lip, One Two and 2 others like this.
  44. VASooner

    VASooner Well-Known Member
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    Or granola
     
    SpartanGA and One Two like this.
  45. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Literally just lighting money on fire
     
  46. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Eye of the tiger, dick of a horse.
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    My wife spent $75 on Lego themed donuts for my kid to take to daycare for Donuts with Dad day. She said she didnt realize they cost that much. Pic will be coming once we get them to show what fucking $75 donuts look like.
     
    Keef, Brocephus, ARCO and 13 others like this.
  47. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Eye of the tiger, dick of a horse.
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    Arkansas RazorbacksSt. Louis CardinalsHouston RocketsDallas CowboysSneakers

    These are donuts for 2-4 yr olds mind you. Most of the dads don’t eat them. They got chick fil-a minis and the fruit platter that we demolish.
     
    football501, ARCO, One Two and 3 others like this.
  48. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also a robot
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    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    my response to money issues is usually "just make more money, ez" so i'm glad she had the right grindset
     
    Brocephus, ARCO, Lip and 7 others like this.
  49. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    JBR’s wife after they have a bunch of unexpected expenses

    upload_2025-5-23_13-17-30.jpeg
     
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