Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    This:
    And Make this: http://www.wnyc.org/story/70600-americas-test-kitchens-chocolate-pots-de-creme/
    Aside from being incredibly delicious it uses 5 egg yolks and in no way resembles eating eggs.

    If you have an ice cream maker, Thomas Keller's ice cream base in Ad Hoc at Home uses 10 yolks. It is unbelievably rich and delicious.
     
    dump, slogan119 and petere1588 like this.
  2. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    Hard-boil a dozen of them bitches and eat them as snacks throughout the day.
     
  3. BasementCrew22

    BasementCrew22 Well-Known Member
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    Good ideas gents, :beerchug:
     
    IV likes this.
  4. visa

    visa Well-Known Member
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    Pots de creme, Tom Keller, Surly twelve packs...this guy Rabid is swimming in it! I hope you get affluenza and a skinned knee ❤️
     
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  5. LeVar Burton

    LeVar Burton Knee deep in a dynasty, ROLL TIDE!
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    I bought something off craigslist from someone from Chicago and driving thru my town. I had the person drop it off in my mailbox (I am out of town) and when he sent a picture of the item and my mailbox I venmoed him the money. Girlfriend thinks this was the worst idea ever. I asked her what her mailman's name was and she had no clue. So your mailman is a stranger and he stops by your house everyday. "Yeah well they run background checks and stuff." Some of the craziest people in the world work for the post office. Pretty sure ups and fedex hire a handful of felons too.

    So yeah, I'd do it again, didn't get robbed or raped, and have some faith in humanity.
     
  6. GGCD

    GGCD The most wasted of days is one without CUM
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    Is your wife Jewish? My GF does the same thing every time and I have never even heard of someone doing this before.
     
  7. GGCD

    GGCD The most wasted of days is one without CUM
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    I'm actually with your GF on this one.
     
  8. Oracle of Omahawg

    Oracle of Omahawg Swine Flu Carrier
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    This morning on Squawk Box, they were discussing the improvements and upgrades made to the Panama Canal. Leads to 30 minutes of questions from my wife centered on how ships travel through land and why can't they just sail around.
     
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  9. LeVar Burton

    LeVar Burton Knee deep in a dynasty, ROLL TIDE!
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    Yeah I assumed some would be. I'll admit I have more confidence in people than most people. It helps when I have his name, phone number, and Venmo account.
     
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  10. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    What if that guy wore a halloween costume to work? Would you want him knowing your address then?
     
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  11. TheFreak55

    TheFreak55 He should keep his mouth firmly shut
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    I mean how is it really any worse than the everyday risk we take and don't think twice of like driving
     
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  12. LeVar Burton

    LeVar Burton Knee deep in a dynasty, ROLL TIDE!
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    I'm sure he'll stop by for some candy in a few months.
     
  13. oknole

    oknole MC OG
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    No, but you could say she has a little Jew in her, am right Duval ???
     
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  14. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    brilliant idea iyam
     
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  15. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Average Jew imo.
     
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  16. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    I don't know what it is, but my wife is really good at hitting shit with her car. She hadn't even had her new van for a month and she managed to hit a car pulling out of her parking spot at work. Mind you, she was parked so that she could just pull out of the spot. Well she managed to turn out of the spot too soon and clipped the front of another lady's car parked next to her.

    Me: How the hell did you do that?
    Her: I didn't know I did it, I thought the stroller fell over in the back.
    Me: What???
    Her: I don't know.
    Me: JFC. :facepalm:
     
  17. Doug

    Doug Skeptical Doug-o
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    What if you just don't let her drive ever again and she ubers everywhere...that has to be cheaper right?
     
    #217 Doug, Jun 9, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2016
    dump, -Asshole- and Baron like this.
  18. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    thankfully there wasn't too much damage, mostly scratches that hopefully can be buffed out. but i'll take that into consideration.
     
  19. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    depends on if she pukes in the uber or not
     
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  20. Doug

    Doug Skeptical Doug-o
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    And depends if it's $40 puke or $100 puke...
     
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  21. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    $40 seems like a pretty cheap puke fee. All of the cabs around here are $150 cleaning fee. Luckily neither my gf or I have thrown up in an Uber so I haven't had to find that one out.
     
    devine and Rabid like this.
  22. MODEVIL

    MODEVIL Well-Known Member
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    overheard this gem in my office yesterday:

    "My daughter is graduating from High School tomorrow and leaves on a trip for Cabo Friday."

    "Oh sounds like fun"

    "Is Cabo in Mexico?"

    I couldn't help but laugh.
     
  23. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    I wish. Surly only comes in 4 packs.
     
    visa likes this.
  24. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    the older I get the crazier and crazier I think people are for sending an 18 year old female on a trip to places like that
     
  25. visa

    visa Well-Known Member
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    Vendor came in with Cacoa bender, overrated and coffee bender not long ago. Glorious. Really want to try the Gose but not available
     
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  26. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    They have Cacoa Bender in cans now? I've never seen that. It is a really solid beer that is usually only available at the brewery or a few cunty beer bars near the brewery. I very much prefer that to the Coffee Bender. I like coffee but the Coffee Bender somehow has too much coffee. The first quarter of the beer is great but by the end of the can it is hard to finish.

    In my opinion, Todd the Axeman is the best beer they make. It is up there with Zombie Dust for my favorite IPAs. Surly Cynic is really damn good too. Those go down really easy in the summer.
     
    visa likes this.
  27. milquetoast

    milquetoast Firm Security
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    Take a few and soak them in soy sauce. Had this is China...was really really delicious.
     
  28. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    You serious? Jesus...
     
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  29. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    long story short but she's flying out of O'Hare and I'm flying out of Midway this am.

    She's freaking out about the big airport she doesn't know and blah blah. We both request an Uber and I say oh we both have Jose.

    She starts freaking out that she didn't do ride share and how is that possible.

    Didn't occur to her there's more than 1 Jose in the world.
     
  30. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
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    So my wife looked up the girl I was dating when I met her on Facebook. She was (for her) surprisingly catty about how the ex looks. It also seems I made the right decision.
     
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  31. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    thanks massnole
     
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  32. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    She bought organic grapes today for a mere $9.98 at Publix.
     
  33. milquetoast

    milquetoast Firm Security
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    Mother of God
     
  34. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Excuse me. $9.89.
     
  35. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    How many pounds?
     
  36. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Not enough.
     
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  37. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    You should count them now and then again in two weeks when they are a shriveled mess in your fridge.
     
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  38. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    SURPRISE! RAISINS!
     
  39. BasementCrew22

    BasementCrew22 Well-Known Member
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    I was trying to use the 5 dozen eggs and so I was working to make egg sandwiches more. Used english muffins. The other day (the english muffins) were gone (after buying then a week ago after not trusting her at the store) so I asked her what happened to them. They were in the freezer and she threw them away "because they looked bad." I asked her if she knew freezers preserve such things and there was no need to throw them away. She asked if freezers kept everything good for longer or just bread? Haha is this real life?
     
    #239 BasementCrew22, Jun 14, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2016
  40. Joe Withabee

    Joe Withabee PS I have sifulus
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    Who freezes eggs?
     
    dump likes this.
  41. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
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    are you dating a twelve year old
     
  42. Degausser

    Degausser #NewProfilePic
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    The muffins, Joe. He froze the goddamn muffins. Are eggs bread to you, Joe?
     
  43. Cabs

    Cabs eatin' fried okra with Oprah
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    the muffin you tard
     
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  44. Joe Withabee

    Joe Withabee PS I have sifulus
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  45. Blu Tang Clan

    Blu Tang Clan Sorry for partying
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    [​IMG]
     
  46. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Since there isn't a stupid shit your mom does thread...

    I'm a 10-month employee (I have June and July off entirely), so I'm staying with my parents for a few weeks to help them with some home renovation projects, currently working on replacing the windows. She is complaining about how much it's going to cost. I find the exact same windows cheaper elsewhere. She complains that I never listen to her because these aren't the windows she wanted. THEY ARE THE EXACT SAME WINDOWS AND I SAVED YOU MONEY.

    She goes on for like 15 minutes about how I never listen to her and what she says never matters. Of course, just last week I was going to pay $4K to fix my car but she suggested I buy a new car instead. So I guess that just never happened. :facepalm:

    Later on she asked me to grab something out of the cabinet that she couldn't reach so she could get dinner fixed. I couldn't understand her so I said "What?" and she goes off again about how I never listen.

    Fucking women. At least when this is over I can get the hell out of here. :bang: :angry:
     
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  47. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    While the other responses were better, you can definitely freeze eggs. Crack them into the egg container, cover it with saran wrap, and boom. I've never had enough eggs to need to do it, but you definitely can. My grandmother used to do it all the time.
     
  48. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    :clap::roll::roll:
     
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  49. brolift

    brolift 2sweet
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    Single women that can't find a mate