Nah, that's homeslice Mike Irvin. The ladies luv them some Charmin...and if they don't? Well, they will by the time he's done wit em
Not the worst but last night watching the NFL draft with my wife Her: So the players don't even to get to pick their jersey number? Me: what do you mean? Her: they all have #1 on their jersey. What if they don't want to be #1? Me: it just means that they were drafted in the 1st round. That's not going to be their number. Her: well then they should let them pick their number and have it on their jersey when they walk out Me:
Also had some good one's while watching the draft last night. -BFF had a really hard time comprehending why teams would trade. "So they're trading a pick for another pick?" -Was really confused on why the bears would take Trubisky at #2 over all the other QB's. Dug a little deeper and she was confused why they would take him over any player, including NFL Qb's. Apparently she thought they just redrafted every year from NFL players and incoming college players. -Getting annoyed that she was having to watch it, asked how many drafts there are in a year. Told her just this one and she asked me what the hell do I watch at Hooters in September. Guess she thought fantasy football was a real draft??
Man, I get so geeked to see who muh team will pick that may or may not ever see a single fucking snap of professional football. Must watch tv really.
These two posts back to back are pretty funny when posted on a message board that started because of people following the decision making of 18 year old kids and where they'll play college football and it being an even bigger crap shoot than the NFL draft.
You also don't seem to be a fan of an NFL team, so I wouldn't expect you to follow the draft. I'd also like to see the stats on how many first round picks never saw a single snap of professional football.
I didn't watch a second of the draft. For me, the biggest factor is the time of year that it's held. The NFL is way, way, waaaaay near the back of my mind at this time of year. And, I'm only a casual NFL fan anyways...although I like to see where college dudes end up going. I get that there are fellas out there that are all NFL, all the time. That's cool. You do you.
As you so astutely pointed out, that seems like an interest you would have much more so than me. Get on that internet machine of yours and look into it if you are that interested to see the stats.
That's how you know that the opinion has some Real America salt-of-the-Earth bring-your-lunch-pail-to-work credentials.
Was on a second date this past week getting Mexican and she comments something about how good the margaritas are (typ white girl) Me: yep. You know who the only person in history was that didn't like margaritas? Her: no Me: Hitler. Hitler hated them She laughed a little bit but overall the joke was a bust. About 5 minutes later she gets quiet and then Her: how do you know so much about history? Me: what do you mean? Her: like how did you know Hitler hated margaritas? Me: (?!) oh that was a joke Her: ok good I was worried you might be one of those weird people that read a lot about Hitler Me: (?!)
Between Richard Spencer being welcomed with open arms at your alma mater and the Hitler reference, she's probably right to ask.
my girlfriend just posted this on her facebook. "If your husband/fiancé/boyfriend has Facebook, set this as your status. If he doesn't comment within an hour, he owes you a date night where he makes all the plans. You are not allowed to tag him. ⏳ Let the games begin! Start time 5:20pm" so i posted this on my wall. "If your wife/fiancé/girlfriend has Facebook, set this as your status. If she posts some bullshit within an hour that you have to take her on a date, she owes you a blowjob where she plays with the sack. You are not allowed to tag her. ⏳ Let the games begin! Start time 5:20pm"
plan backfired. her mother was the first to comment "i think this is a little inappropriate". and i got an angry text like 30 seconds later to take it down, i told her that isnt how the game is played, and she got even more upset so now im a bad guy and not likely getting any blowjobs w/ sack play. i did see one of my buddies post it to his wall so hopefully it catches on.
Yeah this is an easy one. Play dumb, lose, go on date night like a good sport and let sack play happen.
I mean, it didn't say the mom had to give the BJ or play with the sack. Not sure what she's all worked up about ...
More from the draft. "If you get picked last, are you unhappy about it? I mean wouldn't you rather wait till next year and be picked first?"
Was watching The Martian this morning, she walks in and asks what I'm watching. Me: The Martian, Matt Damon playing a guy stuck on Mars. Has to survive until they can figure out a way to rescue him Her after watching for 15 minutes or so: Is this based on a true story?
Been saving this gem from last weekend. Spoiler So, last Saturday the gf wants to go shopping. Sure, fine whatever. I get a call an hour later that she has locked her keys in her car and I need to come let her in. She's like 30 mins away. Told her to just call pop a lock and I get a huge earful of how this is my fault because I'm never there for her. Then comes Sunday. She's been wanting a "garden" for awhile. I remind her she kills cactuses but it is quickly deflected by woman logic that she will grow big, delicious vegetables for us and save so much money. So I assume she wants one of those big plastic tub things to maybe try and grow a tomato plant or something seeing as how it's a rental property and we don't have a fenced in yard. Nope. So she says that her parents are coming up here to bring her something for a garden and I assume it's the previously mentioned big plastic thingy. Nope. I come out of the bathroom to find her, her dad, and her mother unloading 10ft long 3x6's, rolls of black weed barrier and a truck bed full of at least 30 bags of topsoil. They're constructing a full on garden. In the middle of our duplex shared yard. Without even asking the landlord. Also, we are moving out in July which is even more insane. So I have to go out and explain to them why they can't just up and start tilling the goddamn yard to make a garden that will all be for naught in a couple of months when we move. She of course starts crying. I ask her how she intends to take it with her when we move. "I dunno, buckets?" Buckets. I then proceed to load all of this back into her parents truck so we can return it to Lowes.
Haha very perceptive. That's a very accurate way to describe her. Which also means I'm not sure how compatible we are