Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    We are traveling and my wife was giving me directions that friends of our had given us. She told me that next I had to "turn right on xyz doctor."

    It took me like half a second of wtf before I realized that she read xyz dr as doctor instead of drive.
     
    #3001 tylerdolphin, May 25, 2017
    Last edited: May 25, 2017
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  2. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    I'm arguing with my SIL that the suicide bomber is dead.

    What's sad is that she's not quoting any conspiracy theory.


    This is simply a case of the brother looking like the bomber and no articles mentioning that the suicide bomber is dead.

    The suicide bomber isn't dead bc "why aren't there any articles mentioning his death". And he got arrested today!

    Halp lol
     
  3. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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  4. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    I could fill many a post with MIL stories. I feel you man.
     
  5. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Sure.

    I'm arguing with my SIL that the suicide bomber is dead.

    What's sad is that she's not quoting any conspiracy theory.


    This is simply a case of the brother looking like the bomber and no articles mentioning that the suicide bomber is dead.

    The suicide bomber isn't dead bc "why aren't there any articles mentioning his death". And he got arrested today!
     
  6. Rabid

    Rabid Fan of: DQ Treats
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    Ask her if she knows the difference between a bomber and suicide bomber.
     
  7. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    even better, ask her what a stealth bomber is
     
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  8. Russellin4885

    Russellin4885 Well-Known Member
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    Why are you using directions from a friend?
     
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  9. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    I have people try to give me directions to their place all the time. Just text an address. Do these people not WAZE?
     
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  10. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    The only time this isn't the answer is when you're going to be up in the mountains that has little service and poor GPS mapping. Whenever I go up to Blue Ridge I have to go by the directions given to me by the owner of whatever cabin I'm staying in.
     
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  11. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    This. We were heading up through the mountains in VA and were told cell service is spotty plus the road the cabin was on wouldn't be recognized by a GPS.
     
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  12. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    I use Waze and while I love it, Google Maps has the option to share a location via text where they can open it on their phone and it can provide directions. It's great to share my home location with friends who are coming over and it sends them the Google Maps link.
     
  13. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    driven the last two weekends in the va and nc mountains and service was terrible. but as long as the route has been started google maps doesnt need data to keep giving directions. my phone has a bad habit of resetting so that happened once and i had to drive around until i got service to reset the directions
     
  14. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    I prefer the way Waze reconfigures your route if there is trouble. Maybe Google maps does that now too.
     
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  15. Houndster

    Houndster Well-Known Member
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    If you can't get there by GPS then I don't need to be there
     
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  16. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Google Maps does that. Well it does it at the start. I don't know if it re-analyzes the route while you're driving. It probably does, it's fucking Google.
     
  17. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    it does

    google bought waze so they incorporate some of that technology into their routing
     
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  18. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Yeah I've missed a recommended turn before and it pretty much immediately told me an alternate route.
     
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  19. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    That's different than routing you around a traffic jam that's 5 miles down the road. My mom's Tomtom did that 10 years ago.
     
  20. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    Yeah, I'm not referring to missing and rerouting. I mean there is a shitstorm of an accident along your path, and there is a route that will save you the time and frustration of having to sit through that. It will take you out of the way to go around it if it is faster. Google may do that too.

    Like Name P. Redacted stated, its fucking Google.
     
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  21. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    They do that now, but not as efficiently. Waze actually struggles more with this on the fly. Once it has calculated the route, you have to recalculate if you encounter trouble or delays. Last I heard they were not continuously updating the route due to server bandwidth.

    However with Google's acquisition of Waze, they are now incorporating data collected by Waze into their maps platform. I still use Waze a lot to ensure they are getting the data.
     
  22. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    Yea I have actually had it pop up in the middle of a drive on Google Maps and say "We have found a faster route due to upcoming congestion, please select here to accept the new route.

    I was pretty impressed when it came up.
     
  23. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    Watching a nature program...

    Gf - Are seals birds?

    Me - You serious Clark?

    Fast forward to me sharing the story with friends

    Me - We were watching Planet Earth and gf asked whether or not seals were birds...it's ok I know she was thinking of penguins.

    Gf(correcting me) - No I was thinking about seals.
     
  24. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    :roll:
     
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  25. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    That's pretty cool. Had no idea that sort of stuff existed. I only use Google maps if I happen to be in the states. Never heard of Waze, but I'm downloading it now to check it out.
     
  26. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    Waze is cool because people can put alerts for objects in road or police that G Maps doesn't do
     
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  27. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    Waze is Google Maps but with Crowd Sourcing. Meaning, if I come up to an intersection, and I see there is a wreck. I have the option to log this incident. Then users can notify if there is traffic happening at that intersection and this data is shared with other users to route them around the intersection. The data is also shared with Google Maps. The device will track your speed so it can estimate how fast traffic is moving on your route. Then other users can report if the accident is still there or if it has been cleared.

    They have also built in ways to confirm an accident is actually there. The problems arose in California when Waze was showing drivers it was faster to travel through neighborhoods along the 405 Freeway rather than doing 3 mph on the actual freeway. So people who lived in the neighborhoods got upset and started logging accidents in their neighborhoods to try and confuse the system and falsely report slowdowns.

    In addition you can log police speed traps, cars on the shoulder, etc. It is cool because it gives points for logging incidents which creates a competitive environment between you and your friends connected to the app.

    My parents love it because you can share your trip with them and they can monitor your progress and see your estimated arrival time. If I stop for gas, it updates my new arrival time and they can see that.

    In addition there is a huge community of people who keep the maps updated and will keep tabs on construction closures and update the maps regularly.
     
  28. Fafa fofo

    Fafa fofo Tell me 1 thing, 1 thing BACON can't improve...
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    It also tracks the speed limit on the road you are traveling so you don't get caught in a surprise.
     
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  29. AIP

    AIP Team bush
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    This is why for 25 years I have seldom had her help with yard work
     
  30. dathalfnukkahd

    dathalfnukkahd dat nukka high definition
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    WaZe sucks in LA. That shit will have you trying to turn left out off a random sidestreet on to busy streets which is damn near impossible at certain times of the day
     
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  31. Wywan Bwowna

    Wywan Bwowna Wywan Bwowna
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    My main complaint with Waze is this. It tries to make you do too many unprotected left turns. I have gotten in a habit of checking the entire route when I begin to see if I notice any of these.
     
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  32. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    Yeah google maps reconfigures for faster routes. First time it happened I was driving in Tennessee and it popped up having me take an alternate highway about a mile up. There was zero traffic at the time but figured it's google so it's gotta be right. Sure enough as soon as I hit the ramp I see traffic backed up for miles.
     
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  33. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    Anyone else have dozens of boxes of china tucked away in storage from a bunch of old dead ladies one of whom was undoubtedly named Mame that they can't get rid of because of the enduring, intergenerational spiritual bond of womanhood?

    Moving this weekend. Of course she can't stop talking about what a great time this is to purge/simplify our life/try to throw away all my old NBA jerseys from childhood, but don't you dare fuck with Mame's fucking dishes that are gonna take up half the house
     
  34. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    When we moved, my wife tried to take a box of easy mac that had been expired for years. Pack rat struggle is real.
     
  35. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    My parents keep the boxes for EVERYTHING they buy. Literally, half of the storage room in their basement is just empty product boxes. They even still have the box for a TV they don't even own anymore.
     
  36. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    When cleaning the house of clutter my wife tried to throw away old worn hoodies that i only wear around the house without asking me, but threw a fit when mentioned getting rid of old shoes she hasnt worn in years.

    :bobbleresolve:
     
  37. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    Gf insists on keeping shit "because it's for a craft." This includes, but is not limited to, old wrapping paper from a gift I bought her Christmas 2014, hundreds of bottle caps, and old print off tickets from meaningless events.

    We have an old piece of shit bookcase that is full of Ikea baskets of just random useless shit. We won't have room for it in our new apartment. I can't wait to purge all of that shit and break the thing apart.
     
  38. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    I fucking HATE the term "craft." my ex-wife uses it and has our daughter using it now. You're not a fucking witch - you're doing an art project.
     
  39. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Maybe they use apple maps and don't want you getting lost
     
  40. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    Is that why she is your ex?
     
  41. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Not in the top 5 reasons but definately on the list somewhere.
     
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  42. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    What's Top 5?
     
  43. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    I wouldn't care if she actually did shit with these useless items on a regular basis but it's always, "well someday I'll use it."

    I moved to Phoenix on a flight with 3 suitcases and shipped a few (still unopened) boxes. I'm not a crazy minimalist but I hate having useless things around.
     
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  44. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    This sounds like a trap.
     
  45. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Craft should only be used in conjunction with beer.
     
  46. thunderstruck

    thunderstruck I'm a Boss

    When my wife and I started dating I had one and only one:

    Bowl
    Plate
    Spoon
    Fork
    Knife
    Pot
    Pan

    And that was my kitchen. Simpler times
     
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  47. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    We just took in like ten more boxes of China from her parents and her parents' friends because we're going to start a China rental business for weddings or some shit
    :ded:
     
  48. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    ....wat
     
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  49. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
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    Does she have a friend who is a caterer or something?
     
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  50. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    lol no
     
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