Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Looks like sound advice

 

I caught Eric The Viking fornicating with a heavy-set woman in the big-and-tall dressing rooms.

 

That was a long time ago, and you said that you would never bring it up.

 

How long did it take her before she could shit right?

 

At least a week

 

http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/08/world/cafe-gender-pay-gap-trnd/index.html

A café in Australia is going to charge men an additional 18% to reflect the pay gap in their country.

 

pfft. American cheat code:

"excuse me waiter, I identify as a woman, please take off 18% of my tab
k thanks bye"

 

Solid strategy since women love to pay for stuff...

 

What cucks.

 

These dudes sound awful.

 

FEMINISM

 

They probably like to be pegged by their wives and girlfriends

 

You mention this in lots of threads, I think someone is projecting a little bit.

 

Men should strike for divorce settlement equality

 

Why is divorce so expensive for men? Because it's worth it.

 

Hire a better divorce attorney, #lifehack.

 

So I got an excited text message from my wife that it's Shop Like an Employee weekend at Yankee Candle. There goes a couple hundred dollars.

 

Strike what?

 

those kind of texts are always instant anxiety givers for me

 

Fucking Twitter ban......

 

stop going to work or stop paying for everything?

 

Apparently we absolutely needed 4 Scentplug bases and a bunch of refills for the new house we're moving to in a couple weeks.

 

Oh yay! She didn't just go to store at the mall, she went to the huge flagship store with her mother.

Thank god one of her best friends gave her an employee pass for the sale. Well, no not really, now she'll spend more.

For example, we needed two of these, even though only her car has the thing they go with.

http://www.yankeecandle.com/product/owl/_/R-1560451

EDIT:
We needed 2 because they only had 2 left.

 

Perfect

 

But they are totes adorable

 

Not going to lie, I could spend a whole morning smelling candles at the candle store. Big fan.

 

I dont know where else to post this.

 

I really hope that's not staged. That is an incredible story.

 

Holy crap

 

that is great, just great

 

-He used to beat your ass back then, he'll beat your ass again.

-Oh I don't think so. I've been taking krav maga so if he gets anywhere near me I'll kick the shit out of him, after fucking his mom.

 

This morning...

Wife: Today is the 14th, how many days away is the 24th?
Me: What's 24 minus 14?
Wife: 10
Me: There you go.
Wife: Fuck you.

 

Idk, maybe she meant business days

 

Proper response:


#women

 

Run to kinkos, return from kinkos, kinkos margins cut off shit after folding and gluing 1/2 of 150 papers to popcicle sticks to the paper for a fan, return to kinkos, older sister dislikes something and changes margins on everything...spend 1 hour fixing sisters fuckup after finding out her fuckup, return *again* to kinkos and find out they are out of the original paper, go to another kinkos and their main printer is broken, return to original kinkos with a thing of the paper from previous kinkos.

I'm sitting in kinkos and was just asked if the color looks a bit different from original program with messed up margins.

This is all over a program that will be used for a fan and then thrown away 20 minutes later. Weddings have to be the dumbest shit that men were ever talked into regarding spending time and money.

 

Hey guess what! They started printing and the color is much darker!

 

You're like the ghost of christmas future

 

Godspeed, my friend

 

Its not too late to back out

 

can someone post a picture of what OZ is talking about

 

Never been to a wedding?

 

the fan part confused me

 

Well yeah oz is very rarely coherent

 

To cool themselves off. It gets hot sometimes.

 

Attach a stick to the bottom. Instant fan.

 

Drive 40 miles to buy a paw patrol umbrella off some lady used for our son.

It's $10 at the Target, 5 miles away, brand new....

it almost never rains where we live

Gas is $2.15/gallon, she gets 35 miles/gallon.