Stupid shit your wife/girlfriend does...

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by bertwing, May 16, 2016.

  1. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    I'm just gonna take my L and still be sullen.
     
  2. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    Good man
     
  3. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesNew York YankeesMiami Dolphins

    I get your side of it, but thats not something Id even worry about.

    I guess to each their own, but to me it felt weird to itemize everyday stuff like that. Of course its different if you are always the one to pay for the "small stuff."
     
  4. Imurhuckleberry

    Imurhuckleberry Avid spectator of windmill warriors
    Donor
    Florida GatorsSan Francisco GiantsGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ers

    send her this clip and ask if she wouldn't mind dropping the 15$ in your Venmo.
     
    Whammy Business likes this.
  5. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
    Donor
    East Carolina PiratesAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersWashington Football TeamCarolina HurricanesAvengers

  6. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    #showherpussywhoseboss
     
    boone, Zombie Dump and DaveGrohl like this.
  7. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideTennessee TitansWolverhampton Wanderers

    I think you mean whom'se. HTH
     
  8. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    I'm hungover..It's whatever i say it is
     
    DaveGrohl likes this.
  9. Fred Flintstone

    Donor
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesAtlanta BravesNew Orleans SaintsGrateful Dead

    Grew up 75 miles from the coast and call it a huggie. Koozy sounds dumb and I refuse to say it.
     
    tjsblue likes this.
  10. mb711

    mb711 West Coast Barner
    Donor
    Auburn TigersGolden State WarriorsSan Francisco 49'ersSan Jose Sharks

    People who say huggie/hugger are the worst
     
  11. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    How can you say koozy sounds dumb having just typed that you call it a huggie?
     
  12. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
    Donor TMB OG
    Rutgers Scarlet KnightsNew Jersey DevilsNew York Red BullsLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    If it makes anyone feel better, I think both koozie and hugger sound dumb.
     
    blind dog, tjsblue, Doc Louis and 5 others like this.
  13. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Team drink the beer like a man and it will never have time to get warm
     
  14. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideTennessee TitansWolverhampton Wanderers

    Grew up calling it a hugger in central Alabama.

    Huggie is awful.

    Hate koozie too. But that's what most people said at college so that's what I went with.
     
  15. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    They don't make a suitable white wine spritzer in a can so I never have to worry about it :smug:
     
  16. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    Well aren't you a pinkie in the air fancy ass mother trucker
     
    HarleyOutlaw, Nole0515 and Clown Baby like this.
  17. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    Big Mac's a Big Mac except they call it Le Big Mac
     
  18. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    "huggie" sounds worse
     
  19. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    This is finger/tender/tendie all over again
     
  20. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsTexas Rangers

    What do they call a whopper?
     
  21. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
    Donor

    I don't know, I didn't go to Burger King
     
  22. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
    Donor
    New York GiantsNew York YankeesAtlanta UnitedUCF Knights

    I've seen people call it a "Cozy." Wtf is that about?
     
    boone likes this.
  23. infected donkey

    infected donkey Arkansas Razorbacks
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksChicago CubsAvengersBarAndGrillSoutheastern Conference

    Team koozy. Fuck all you other simpletons who had a rough life growing up.
     
  24. Fred Flintstone

    Donor
    Southern Mississippi Golden EaglesAtlanta BravesNew Orleans SaintsGrateful Dead

    Wrong
     
  25. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
    Donor
    Wolfsburg

    i never understood why it's a koozie and not a cozy, like a tea cozy
     
    boone likes this.
  26. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Because this isn't fucking England
     
  27. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Texas Tech Red RaidersTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas CowboysKansas City ChiefsAustin FCTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    they fuck is a tea cozy
     
    Hatfield, NineteenNine, Baron and 3 others like this.
  28. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
    Donor
    Wolfsburg

    if it was england it would be a tea cosy
     
    Where Eagles Dare likes this.
  29. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    LookslikeUofI likes this.
  30. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
    Staff Donor
    LSU TigersTexas RangersNew Orleans SaintsFulhamDulwich Hamlet

    THF, John McGuirk and Homo Erectus like this.
  31. DistantFactor

    DistantFactor Sesquipedalian
    Donor
    Oregon DucksPortland Trail Blazers

  32. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

  33. boone

    boone Destination Unknown
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideSyracuse OrangeStanford Cardinal

    #teamcozy
     
  34. Arrec Bardwin

    Arrec Bardwin La Araña Discoteca
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsChelseaAtlanta United

    A cozy keeps something hot, it's not the same thing.
     
  35. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
    Donor

    My wife thought waterboarding consisted of a steady drip of water on one's forehead until they went crazy.
     
  36. Norm Peterson

    Norm Peterson I never met a beer I didn't drink.
    Donor
    Florida State Seminoles

    Chinese water torture?
     
    AaronCE, OZ, Doc Louis and 5 others like this.
  37. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
    Chicago CubsSt. Louis Blues

  38. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay BuccaneersSwanseaWichita State ShockersHartford WhalersSeattle SupersonicsGeorgetown Hoyas

    It took me more than 5 minutes to convince my wife FSU QB James Blackman was not in fact a Make A Wish cancer patient yesterday when she saw him on the sidelines.
     
  39. Russellin4885

    Russellin4885 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    North Carolina State Wolfpack

    Had that game on yesterday and also had to convince my wife that he is in fact a football player. She couldn't believe it.
     
  40. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishCleveland BrownsMontreal Canadiens

    Keep your head up
     
  41. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersPortland Trail Blazers

    Me: Filipino culture is really strange sometimes ( this was in reference to how much they love karaoke)
    Her: You are just biased towards Central American countries.
    Me::facepalm:
     
    #3741 Fecta23, Oct 5, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2017
  42. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsSeattle Kraken

    Pilipino huh?
     
    AaronCE, One Two, dump and 3 others like this.
  43. Arkadin

    Arkadin inefficiently efficent and unclearly clear
    Donor

    That's what they call the ones addicted to oxys
     
    One Two, Baron, dump and 4 others like this.
  44. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Oregon DucksSeattle MarinersPortland Trail Blazers

    This is what spell check told me....It looked wrong. Ironic twist here.
     
  45. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    My wife told me she forget to set the reminder for her depo provera shot when she got a new phone last month. She keeps it in the fridge and her friend gives it to her. Its been 3 weeks past the date, but she took pregnancy test and isnt pregnant so its ok. I asked if i could sue for medical malpractice.

    My reaction
    :resolve: then :blessed:
     
    Zombie Dump likes this.
  46. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    I was fucking pissed and walked off before i said what i was thinking.
     
    shawnoc, Zombie Dump and Hatfield like this.
  47. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
    Donor
    Texas RangersKansas City ChiefsDallas Mavericks altTexas Tech Red Raiders alt

    We don’t have kids and don’t want any. I’ve offered many times to get snipped and she always says no. By law I believe that relieves me of any obligation to pay for any type of children expenses if she were to get pregnant
     
  48. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
    Donor

    If she pulls some shit or gets knocked up bc she is stupid then I'm fucking becoming a stay at home dad.I just told her as much in nicer terms. I'm not working and helping with a kid bc you pulled an audible or were too fucking stupid to remember birth control.

    If we agree, or it happens anyways then fine, but if your actions make the decison for us then that's going to be my reaction.
     
  49. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
    Donor
    East Carolina PiratesAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersWashington Football TeamCarolina HurricanesAvengers

    just do it. it's cheap and takes no time
     
    shawnoc and Imurhuckleberry like this.
  50. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
    Donor
    Penn State Nittany LionsGreen Bay PackersChelseaHartford WhalersPhoenix Rising

    Suggest an IUD.
     
    shawnoc likes this.